Time for this 41 year old to make a journal.
- Thread starter Maximus76
- Start date
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
Max,
You're doing well and is on the right track.
Keep yourself busy and constantly focusing on the positives
You're doing well and is on the right track.
Keep yourself busy and constantly focusing on the positives
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
Maximus76 said:
Max:
I am same with you on b,c,d,e,f,g. (especially g !) Except the alcohol part. I drink very little now because i am super focused on my sports performance.
That you are here, and have [g], I don't see [d] as a natural or long term issue for you.
Instead, I believe, as with myself, PMO and our incorrect assumptions have created this situation in us.
The more you do not PMO and instead focus on [g], the more you will feel [d] leaving you and start to gain a brighter outlook in life, people and things in general.
The part i have bold is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU NEED TO DO NOW
Focus all your energy to TRANSFORMING YOUR LIFE
1. Give best 100% effort in whatever your do
2. live every second of each day with meaning, purpose, focus and goals
3. Get books adn podcasts and tedtalks to teach yourself positive, growth and giving outlook/mindset/attitude
PMO is part of instant gratification, negativity, depression and pessimism.
These practices contribute to weakness, whinyness, irresponsibility and dependence on others.
These leads to a dark and sad life because we are not working towards meaningful long term goals and benefits.
To live happy and healthy life, do only these
- Go out and enjoy the sun more.
- Go exercise with a purpose (like a race or some targets)
- Go study and make your brain better
- Go work hard and make your spirit stronger
- Be grateful everyday (you already are!)
- sleep and wake early
- eat well and take best care of yourself
- spend more time with people, especially good ones, and help others as often as you can.
Maximus76
Member
Day 9
Morningwood is slowly returning again. After the last binges it has been pretty dead during the nights/mornings.
TakeActionNow, Thanks there was a lot of good advice you gave there. Really appreciate that.
"Get books adn podcasts and tedtalks to teach yourself positive, growth and giving outlook/mindset/attitude", This I have been doing the last 5-6 years and really hardcore. And things have improved but there is a LOT more work to do for me. Gotta love the challenge though. I also exercie almost every day and try to be grateful but I really want to keep growing and I REALLY need to learn how to be more mindful and spiritual.
Thanks for the support brother.
Morningwood is slowly returning again. After the last binges it has been pretty dead during the nights/mornings.
TakeActionNow, Thanks there was a lot of good advice you gave there. Really appreciate that.
"Get books adn podcasts and tedtalks to teach yourself positive, growth and giving outlook/mindset/attitude", This I have been doing the last 5-6 years and really hardcore. And things have improved but there is a LOT more work to do for me. Gotta love the challenge though. I also exercie almost every day and try to be grateful but I really want to keep growing and I REALLY need to learn how to be more mindful and spiritual.
Thanks for the support brother.
Hi Max,
It looks to me that you have all the attributes to see this through to a successful end and I think TAN's advice is superb and work on all his suggestions. For myself (as a fellow Scandinavian), I am on day 60 of the reboot program and doing well despite the urges that I have successfully ignored and look forward to a future that is PMO free
It looks to me that you have all the attributes to see this through to a successful end and I think TAN's advice is superb and work on all his suggestions. For myself (as a fellow Scandinavian), I am on day 60 of the reboot program and doing well despite the urges that I have successfully ignored and look forward to a future that is PMO free
Maximus76
Member
Day 10
It's a samll a sense of achievement when the counter turns to double digits. It would be awesome to get to se the tripple digit some day!
Rico, Congrats on day 60 fellow Scandinavian! I hope I get there some day too....in about 50 days Thank you for your encouragement brother. It feels good to have your support.
It's a samll a sense of achievement when the counter turns to double digits. It would be awesome to get to se the tripple digit some day!
Rico, Congrats on day 60 fellow Scandinavian! I hope I get there some day too....in about 50 days
Thank you for your encouragement brother. It feels good to have your support.Hullo Max, Yes my friend, we are in this together! I know the road is going to be rough and this morning I had to suppress that crazy urge to M but so far so good. I find that I cope far better when I am extremely busy....too much time on your hands can be a disaster. Just keep doing the right thing and BE STRONG.
Maximus76
Member
Day 11
I feel a deep calmness in my body. This is good. Very good!!!
The weekend is coming up on us and I have entered in to second week. That is a dangerous combination when it comes to relapse risk. Unfortunatly I have seen it happen to me maaaany times. I WILL stay on my guard.
Rico, Yes, freetime can be dangerous. Especially if we don't have anything planned and are only "drifing" and going along...then it is easy for a sudden urge to grab oa and we start to follow it.
I feel a deep calmness in my body. This is good. Very good!!!
The weekend is coming up on us and I have entered in to second week. That is a dangerous combination when it comes to relapse risk. Unfortunatly I have seen it happen to me maaaany times. I WILL stay on my guard.
Rico, Yes, freetime can be dangerous. Especially if we don't have anything planned and are only "drifing" and going along...then it is easy for a sudden urge to grab oa and we start to follow it.
Hi Max,
I am please for you that you are doing well albeit only day 11; take each day one at a time and don't look too far forward....and you must consider how far back all this started and the incredible damage that has been done along the way. For myself, it has been a big battle having started with porn after my divorce about 15 years ago and then a break for many years when I had the most wonderful gf who sadly now has an incurable disease and had me, very selfishly, resort to P again. But as mentioned, I think I am on top of this crazy affliction and look forward to a life without PMO.
Keep strong Max.....the reward will be HUGE.
I am please for you that you are doing well albeit only day 11; take each day one at a time and don't look too far forward....and you must consider how far back all this started and the incredible damage that has been done along the way. For myself, it has been a big battle having started with porn after my divorce about 15 years ago and then a break for many years when I had the most wonderful gf who sadly now has an incurable disease and had me, very selfishly, resort to P again. But as mentioned, I think I am on top of this crazy affliction and look forward to a life without PMO.
Keep strong Max.....the reward will be HUGE.
Maximus76
Member
Day 12
Saturday and a holliday in my country. I want to work on my project instead of letting the feelings of emptyness hit me.
Roic, sorry to hear that you have had it rough but, as you say, things will get better and we will feel stronger for doing this. Thanks for the support brother! It's heartwarming!
Today I'm grateful for for:
- I have calmness in my body
- My mother and father
- Low sugar diet
Saturday and a holliday in my country. I want to work on my project instead of letting the feelings of emptyness hit me.
Roic, sorry to hear that you have had it rough but, as you say, things will get better and we will feel stronger for doing this. Thanks for the support brother! It's heartwarming!
Today I'm grateful for for:
- I have calmness in my body
- My mother and father
- Low sugar diet
Maximus76
Member
Day 13
I have learned something about myself the last couple of months of trying to better my life. Seems like I'm an now pretty able to handle urges, being horny and sudden triggers that pop up when surfing but there is one thing I have not learned how to cope with and that is when I get dissapointed after some personal setback of some kind. When those happen I slip and get into a wrong mindset of "what's the point sith everything". I guess the trcik would be to be on top of that feeling at the very moment it starts to happen. Notice it and know what's going on.
I have learned something about myself the last couple of months of trying to better my life. Seems like I'm an now pretty able to handle urges, being horny and sudden triggers that pop up when surfing but there is one thing I have not learned how to cope with and that is when I get dissapointed after some personal setback of some kind. When those happen I slip and get into a wrong mindset of "what's the point sith everything". I guess the trcik would be to be on top of that feeling at the very moment it starts to happen. Notice it and know what's going on.
Hullo Max, I think you're doing well....Regarding those feelings that follow on from personal attacks, some sturdy exercise or a cold shower might distract you and help to rearrange your thought pattern, but then again, when it happens it could well be that this action can't possibly happen and you will have to train your mind to be more POSITIVE and to know that it is all so worth while. As is said "Been there, done that, got the blazer and the badge". Socializing is also so important and perhaps try extending your circle of
friends, take a friend to the movies, invite somebody home for a meal'
Keep up the good work and have fun.
friends, take a friend to the movies, invite somebody home for a meal'
Keep up the good work and have fun.
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
Maximus76 said:
Max,
that's the inner critic talking.
You are correct. Awareness is key and is the first step.
Listen to this youtube, he is very inspiring.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY3K6phqyrM
He lost but he has character.
When we are down, we can dwell or deny the depression.
I say deny
this is a learning phase. Find the things that motivate you and keep doing them.
Loss will happen but your goals remain.
You are strong and able.
Hey Max,
You play a mean Trumpet my man! I am mightily impressed and further impressed by the fact that you have picked yourself up after your relapse and back in the saddle so to speak........and you will succeed! I came pretty close yesterday to a relapse but manage to pull myself together; perhaps not quite the correct choice of words but I am adamant that I will stay "clean".
Stay strong my friend as you travel this rocky road.
You play a mean Trumpet my man! I am mightily impressed and further impressed by the fact that you have picked yourself up after your relapse and back in the saddle so to speak........and you will succeed! I came pretty close yesterday to a relapse but manage to pull myself together; perhaps not quite the correct choice of words but I am adamant that I will stay "clean".
Stay strong my friend as you travel this rocky road.
lyon03
Respected Member
Thanks for sharing Max. I've just read through your previous posts and a few things struck me. First, you wrote about feeling shame regarding a recent relapse. Then in the same post you shared, "I have nothing to be ashamed for....I have got issues with this porn thing but, who is 100% free from issues in life anyways???" Amen to that my friend. Shame was one of the biggest drivers of my addictions to porn, sex, and masturbation. It was compounded shame: meaning I'd PMO (watch porn, masturbate, then orgasm), feel shame about it, and then watch more porn to overcome the shame. It was a downward spiral. Second, you shared about various issues like social anxiety. I suffered from depression, anger, insomnia and social anxiety. As I learned from reading "Your Brain on Porn" most of these were due to my f*cked up brain chemistry due to my porn/dopamine addiction. Thanks again for sharing brother and please keep coming back. PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.
Hi Max,
Good to see you still soldiering on....that is indeed praiseworthy. And Lyon is so right, shame must not come into the equation.
Have just now been watching two videos, one by Noah Church at The Mystery Box and the other, Gabe Deem and Noah interviewing each other and I found them both illuminating and powerful, if you haven't already availed yourself of this opportunity.
Keep strong and make your life enjoyable. Rico
Good to see you still soldiering on....that is indeed praiseworthy. And Lyon is so right, shame must not come into the equation.
Have just now been watching two videos, one by Noah Church at The Mystery Box and the other, Gabe Deem and Noah interviewing each other and I found them both illuminating and powerful, if you haven't already availed yourself of this opportunity.
Keep strong and make your life enjoyable. Rico