Author Topic: Starting today, day 0  (Read 3958 times)

Dico888

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #175 on: September 06, 2017, 06:39:51 AM »

I once went to a doctor last year, explaining my problem, gave me viagra, cost a shit ton of money, and the one time I tried it was just really bad, indeed you get it up but you're still not connected to the person you're with etc. Viagra is not the solution at all, it's the whole process of rebooting behind it :) Natural herbs are nothing compared to the crazy effect of viagra, I really disliked viagra, it was a bad experience for me.

Sorry to hear your bad experience with it. But indeed, Viagra is purely chemical..

Everytime I used the pill that I have, I was naturally aroused, so felt really connected. Just had some nerves and needed a helping hand with that. If I feel I'm in a flatline or anything, I will not be using them to force my 'arousement'.
And let's be honest, I rather take that pill once a month, than to have another catastrophic scene in the bedroom. That shit just crushed my world and made me feel really bad. Now I feel good after a night and I can continue building my confidence.

And as I said, I feel so secure about my member downstairs, that I'm going to try without in a week or so. I feel so confident about it, that I'm quite sure I can stay hard. This feeling just helps a lot. And if this is the case, I am so close to healing and I will bless the days I took the pills to get to where I am then.




"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet"

Dico888

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #176 on: September 07, 2017, 07:36:46 AM »
Day 27:

So again no MW when I woke up, but did get a bit hard when I was awake for a few seconds.
Still no urges to PMO, no fantasies, no flashes.. it feels my brain stopped begging for now.

Feeling pretty positive! Working out again since last week, but still lost some weight, very weird as I do eat enough (I need to gain weight). I'm about 4KG lighter than 10 weeks ago, probably because of working out, burning calories and such. (Weighing 76KG now, 192CM. Still a bit underweight, want to get to 85KG)

Insomnia is gone too, had it for about a week. Sleeping very good again.

Definitely not in a flatline for some weeks.. very high libido everyday. It feels I'm just cruising through the reboot!

Almost 30 days since my last MO and again feeling so much better! Let's keep this up  :)
« Last Edit: September 07, 2017, 07:38:23 AM by Dico888 »




"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet"

vince75

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #177 on: September 07, 2017, 08:03:09 AM »
You're nailing it man! Keep it. Also almost at day 30 and coming and going libido, but definitely heading towards better days!



Dico888

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #178 on: September 08, 2017, 11:31:19 AM »
You're nailing it man! Keep it. Also almost at day 30 and coming and going libido, but definitely heading towards better days!

Congrats man! Looking good! My libido also has its ups and downs, it's just up for at least a week now.

Day 28:

So finally my MW came back, as predicted  ;D.
Beside that, nothing really to report. It starts to feel porn is completely is out of my life. The urges to MO are there sometimes, but very weak and I can dismiss them right away.

I am losing a bit of boner control, got a 50-60% boner at the end of the morning. Didn't even think about anything. Keeps happening more and more. Can't remember the last time I had them. This is positive of course :)

Toned down the sexting with the girl a bit. Fantasizing is porn in my books and I shouldn't do that. She will be back around Wednesday.
If she is up for it, I'm going to give it a try without the magic pill. But only when I'm confident enough about it ( we wouldn't want PA now do we :) ) Maybe that will also be the day I will tell her about my history with Porn. When you think of it, it's not that big of a deal.

Okay.. lets go to 30 days :)




"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet"

Dico888

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #179 on: September 09, 2017, 03:27:22 AM »
Day 29:

Woahh! Just had the weirdest dream! In short, I was having sex with, who I think was, the girl I am seeing at the moment, not sure. However, in the dream I was aware that I stayed hard all the way, I was aware of my PIED / PA there, but didn't go limp. Dreams are results of the subconscious mind so maybe I'm really confident with this, even in my subconscious. Feels good!

Also MW again, about 90%.

Damn I'm motivated!




"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet"

Dico888

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #180 on: September 10, 2017, 09:20:40 AM »
Day 30!!

Fuckyea man. 30 days since my last relapse. Damn it feels good I made it this far again!.

So woke up with MW so hard that it even hurt! :P
Was a bit curious when showering, I know I shouldn't be testing anything.. but I was on 30 days again and just wanted to see. Progress is made friends; 90% without any effort. Stayed like that for about 5 minutes until I was done with it.

High sex drive again and no urges to watch any porn or to MO.

Going for the 45 days now, then I'm halfway in the hard-90.

Tomorrow the girl is coming back and since she has that time of the month, she only wants to cuddle and watch some TV. Pretty convenient for me also; this is a good way to bond more with each other and that is something I really want. I find it more easier to get hard with a girl you are really bonded with, rather than a one night stand or someone you recently met.
Also because there would be no pressure on my part to perform. Despite I think I can stay hard, I don't want to rush things and be bumped out afterwards.
« Last Edit: September 10, 2017, 09:22:34 AM by Dico888 »




"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet"

vince75

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #181 on: September 11, 2017, 04:55:34 AM »
Man good job! This is all perfect. Congrats on the 30 days.
Great for the girl, wishing you good luck, it's good that you have a good reason to take things slow.
We can rock those 45 days man, piece of cake.



Max3

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #182 on: September 11, 2017, 12:48:37 PM »
Congrats man! Now don't settle, you should think that just 30 days won't change years of PMO so just continue this way.

Dico888

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #183 on: September 12, 2017, 02:11:24 PM »
Thanks both of you guys! I really appreciate everything :)

Day 32:

So yesterday evening I went to the girl and we watched some movies. Some playing around under a blanket on the couch which made me pretty hard.
Fast forward, eventually went to bed with her and still hard there, until I tried the condom on. Downhill from there. You can fill in the rest.
Handjobs didn't do anything, it just went limp. And you know, I'm not that bummed out about it actually. I mean, yea it fucking sucks, again..

(in my defensive, we played around on the couch for 3 hours or so, so 3 hours hard without effort (and without any Viagra). Also PRETTY tired.

First off, because she was pretty cool about it. We really like each other and she knows about some panic disorder I had in 2014. I kinda blamed it a bit on that and on the fact i HATE condoms.

But the foremost reason I'm not bummed out about it is.. this was PURELY and I mean a pure case of performance anxiety. When I grabbed the condom I could already feel getting limp. And then I knew in my mind, that I would not get hard again. And I didn't, not even when she gave me a HJ.
Every molecule in my body yelled Performance Anxiety. This was not PIED, not this time. It felt different. (No alcohol was consumed)

After sleeping for an hour or so we both woke up and I pleasured her a bit and I again was hard again. She went on top of me and when I tried to PIV again I went a bit soft, but the constant grinding made me a bit harder again.

So as most people here, I am unable to penetrate / put on a condom without going limp.

Could I be wrong and could this be PIED nevertheless? Or is PA an option?




"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet"

Jack Can

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #184 on: September 12, 2017, 02:14:51 PM »
Woohoo another rebooter freed from the shackles... Kind of. That's really good for only 32 days too! As to your questions I have no idea. But I'm glad to see the progress!

vince75

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #185 on: September 13, 2017, 04:28:39 AM »
Awesome man! That's great! Don't worry about the condom thing, it's more of a general issue for many men, enhanced by your anxiety. But now you know you can get hard and it's mostly in your head. Maybe for now focus on non-penetrative acts, and build up confidence. Anyhow, I'm happy for you!



Dico888

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #186 on: September 13, 2017, 08:40:50 AM »
Woohoo another rebooter freed from the shackles... Kind of. That's really good for only 32 days too! As to your questions I have no idea. But I'm glad to see the progress!
Hell yea man! And yeh, progress is progress. 4 months ago I couldn't get hard if my life depended on it. Now [at least] I can get hard for some situations.

Awesome man! That's great! Don't worry about the condom thing, it's more of a general issue for many men, enhanced by your anxiety. But now you know you can get hard and it's mostly in your head. Maybe for now focus on non-penetrative acts, and build up confidence. Anyhow, I'm happy for you!

I thought it was something like that, I'll take your great advice on non-penetrative acts. It's in my head yes, but that sometimes doesn't make it less real, but I know you know what I mean :)

One step at a time! Thanks both.

Day 33:

Woke up sick as a dog, the weather is awful at the moment. Because of the sickness I have no interest in anything sexual of course. Also no MW.

Will update later when feeling better!




"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet"

Jack Can

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #187 on: September 13, 2017, 10:48:32 AM »
This probably isn't the best advice but.. have you tried going in without a condom?

Dico888

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #188 on: September 13, 2017, 11:28:24 AM »
This probably isn't the best advice but.. have you tried going in without a condom?

Hey! We talked about it, but she doesn't want that yet, which I understand. We tried it after we slept for a bit, but I was really tired and my nerves were still there from the condom catastrophe, so that didn't work at that moment. (Still went soft a bit, but went hard again after). The condom / thoughts just simply killed my boner for the complete night.

I have read somewhere that it's best to 'train' yourself again with a condom. Just when you are alone, to get used to the completely un-sexual act of putting it on. Will try this later when I feel better again, got the flu at the moment feelsbadman.

But first, as Vince suggested, I'll focus on non-penetrating acts. Will have to tell her what's up eventually, can't hide this PIED / PA forever. I hope she is understanding :) .. she most likely is. Just by telling your partner what's up etc will also take a lot tension of everything.

Of course.. it's not an easy subject




"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet"

Dico888

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #189 on: September 16, 2017, 07:39:29 AM »
Day 36:

So finally my MW is back. Forgot about it for a while. Full on 100%

Last few days nothing really to report. No urges for PMO as usual, luckily.
Slept at her place Thursday through Friday, laying in bed messing around a bit (no sexual things) made me pretty hard.

Both taking it pretty slow, which I also like.

It feels like the second 100 days (this run) will be a lot easier than the 100 before. Let's go! :)




"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet"

Dico888

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #190 on: September 18, 2017, 06:21:43 AM »
Day 38:

No MW, no urges for 2 days.

Didn't touch the magic pills for a week now, yesterday morning got a HJ which all worked fine. Hour after that again, but suffered from DE and went soft after a while.

Nevertheless, happy with the results.

I had "the talk", kinda, a bit, with her. Told her that I always went limp with condoms, but she was very understanding.. also the second time that morning when I went soft. We are both going to work on it.. but mainly the condom problem.  Will "test" it out when I'm alone first, to see where I fail when putting it on.

Besides this, everything going good. Happy that I can finally test things for real and hope to see improvements soon!




"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet"

Floink

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #191 on: September 18, 2017, 06:58:19 AM »
Hi there! I haven't read all the backstory, but the problem with the condom might be that you are using the wrong size. there is a brand called "mysize", they offr a wide variety of sizes. I thought it was becaise I was too stupid to use condoms, it came out that i am slightly above average in size and need to use the "slightly above average" size. Worked like a charm for me.
Last PMO: Monday, the 12.06.2017 / 12:00 MEST. (FUUUUK!)
Let's leave it like this!

"If I quit now, I will be back to where I started. And when I started I was desperately wishing to be where I am now."

Dico888

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #192 on: September 18, 2017, 09:56:26 AM »
Hi there! I haven't read all the backstory, but the problem with the condom might be that you are using the wrong size. there is a brand called "mysize", they offr a wide variety of sizes. I thought it was becaise I was too stupid to use condoms, it came out that i am slightly above average in size and need to use the "slightly above average" size. Worked like a charm for me.

Hey man! Long time no seen.

I indeed have MySize! I'm also a bit above average, used a too small condom before and that was even more catastrophic. I have the correct size now, but it's the mental part that fucks me up (I even felt going limp when grabbing the condom. Thoughts just messing me up because of previous experiences and this PIED/PA).

Luckily, we both are going to work on this problem, but that doesn't take away the fact that I still find it a not-so fun subject to talk about with her.




"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet"

Dico888

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Re: Starting today, day 0
« Reply #193 on: Today at 01:26:44 AM »
Day 41:

Same ol', same ol'.

Yesterday for some weird reason, my addiction gave it another try. I was at work and suddenly a thought of watching some good porn slipped in my mind. I was really negotiating with myself. Eventually got back the grip on my thoughts and dismissed it, but wow that was close. Was really about to watch some when I got home (probably).
First time in ages I wanted to PMO, instead of only MO.

Furthermore, no urges beside that one. Got MW this morning, however it didn't feel as rock hard as usual. But rebooting goes up and down.

I'm focusing too much on rebooting, I notice I'm, like a little bit, avoiding sexual acts in fear of limp dick syndrome. Should really stop doing that, I'm making it worse for myself. Will go and see that girl this evening, going to cook together (yay!) and sleep the night there.

« Last Edit: Today at 01:30:12 AM by Dico888 »




"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet"