My world has been torn apart

Corncandy

New Member
I suspected something wasn't right at the beginning of our relationship. He was always going into the bandwidth his phone for 40-50 no idea each time.  I did a search and found him in lots of pork sites. I was horrified.  Even minutes before he was due to set out to see me he was on the site. If course he denied it. He deleted those accounts. Now 3 months later I find him still doing it on another social site with dirty disgusting videos. I was outraged. The account was deleted and he said he won't do it again. I do not trust him and can't bear the thought of him looking at other naked women in that way. I love him dearly and our relationship was perfect apart from this big dirty black secret which is eating it up. My friend and sister said he will never change and I should end it. Its easy for them to say that but they dont know\love him like I do.  I'm struggling and it does get me down as the future is now in jeopardy.
 
Any partner of a PA will tell you the only thing that really gets better are the lies and deceit.  It will start to make you truly crazy.  You will be second guessing things you find and see.  He will start to change in so many ways.  Ways that will draw him farther and farther away from you and your relationship.  In the end you will never compare to the sick excitement of online porn. Thousands of women.  You can only be you and your beauty.  You could be a world famous model and not be enough for a PA not ever. 
 

Loleekins

Active Member
brokensoul said:
Any partner of a PA will tell you the only thing that really gets better are the lies and deceit.

QFT

It has definitely been my experience that it does not end for most people. Most being a anecdotal average of 98%. I've been around the various porn/fap forums since the beginning of 2015. The success is dismal at best.

My ex stayed clean for over 4 yrs then went on a bender for months breaking that almost 5 yr streak.

It takes a certain type of person to pick up a habit like this to begin with - life avoidant and self centered. That seldom changes.
 

Kimba

Active Member
Hi  I could make up stories and say my partner is one of the 2% but i am totally not sure!  I have dark moments and have trust issues and resentment still after all this time, we have been together 15 years and he was involved in porn from day 1 which of course I never new.  It soon comes out doesn't it !  Caught him at least three times with evidence but so many more times I suspected and had nothing and he lied and lied and attacked, so you loose confidence in yourself to the max...  I was ready to leave, I think that is an option if they have no respect for you and do not want to change, don't put up with it... to be honest sometimes I wish I had left.  I set a trap for him last year as far as private browsing goes, he failed, so I know he's not completely honest, he still has secrets...I know he's not crazy bad but I feel he may just have a peep occasionally, but I decided that I am happy with life and its not affecting our sex life like it did, so I keep plodding on... My partner starting online perving very young and before that it was magazines... We are not on any social media thats a no no for me, but the phone is the hard one to lock down isn't it, he knows I go on his phone occasionally to peruse thats one of the conditions of moving forward!  To be honest I hardly go on anymore, I think if he is being deceitful it will come out in the end.  Im really sorry to hear of your heartache I can only suggest if you want to save your relationship he has to step forward as well, admit to using and take steps to lock the internet down, its been 4 years this year so its a long road, don't compromise too much and do what you are comfortable with, please don't let him put you down and make you feel worthless, fight back !!!
 
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