Free February

Hey gents.  I am down for the count this month, but since I am in Asia, I thought I would start the Free February thread.  Putting pressure on myself.  If anyone else wants to get serious for 2019, join me. 

Rich

Count me in! 26 days PMO free and counting.

Pmoed today, Fenruary 1st.  But there is still the rest of February.  Let's do this, guys!

Rich

I'm in. Day 1. Never reach a month. this time I will.

I committed to free January and relapsed the very next day. I don't like setting time goals for myself. It makes tasks seem daunting and discourages me from seeing them through. Moreover, it feels even worse when I fail. I prefer to see it as a constant struggle of, "Is this helping getting me clean or not?" and constantly working towards the overall goal of quitting. I've been stumbling a lot through January and after today, I'll be a week sober. Every day counts. I just want to keep doing a little better each time until I'm free. That's how I choose to look at it.

Good luck to everyone starting this Free February. I managed to go 30 days hardmode for only the second time ever, thanks to the January Free thread here, and my plan is to carry on as long into February as possible. I need to work out what my motivations are for this month. I was surprised at how easy it was for me to complete 30 days hardmode, so at the moment I am planning on continuing to 40 days (which I believe would break my longest streak), then see how it goes from there.

To be honest, although I have managed to stay away from the temptation of looking at porn, or even porn-substitutes, I am feeling almost asexual at the moment, as I have no partner to re-wire with. I'm not sure if I have the confidence to try and hook up with a woman (I'm starting to realise that I think a big part of my ED problems have been connected to confidence/anxiety in a vicious cycle with lack of experience, which porn use compounded in the last few years.)

At the end of this month it will be almost a year since the moment I discovered PIED could be my problem (couldn't get an erection, even with meds). I've pretty much eradicated porn use since then, but replaced it with what I thought were less harmful alternatives (sex forums, dating apps, "vanilla" pics). In the past year, I have had a few successful sexual encounters with the help of meds, but I know I must not develop a dependency on them, so the goal of this current re-boot is to have successful sex drug-free. But who knows when?

Anyway, sorry for the long post, I really should start my own journal, but I am so busy most of the time I have little time to post here, but I will keep checking back in on this thread. Good luck everyone!

Day 2/28 no PMO; Day 32 hardmode.

Checking out on day 1/90 Saturday night, February 2nd.  Clean. 

Rich

Still porn free, but no longer on hardmode, as I masturbated this evening (I've posted my feelings/doubts about it on the PIED forum, if anyone is interested). My new objective is to get back on the hardmode wagon for the time being, and of course, be completely free of porn this month.

Day 2/28 no PMO; Day 0 hardmode.

I completed thew Free Jan Challenge  so I guess I'll, join in for Feb too  I am currently at Day 63 i think of my current reboot

    Good luck to all

      Post often it helped me it will help you

I'm in! Relapsed Feb 1 but I won't let that stop me.

im in, im so ready to kick this nasty habbit

Checking in on day 3/90.  Forget about slipping, guys.  Just start your count from today.  You can do it, guys.

Rich

Had a close call yesterday. I could feel the beast roaring, but I didn't gave in. Here's to 24 more hours clean.

Day 4 of Feb challenge  and day 64 of current reboot    I will join in on this one each day for the month as I did for the Jan challenge (I think I missed checking in the 1st 2 days of Feb as we were out of town on vacation)    But I will only check in each day  as long as those who  decide to take the challenge  dont relapse  and  feel they can start over mid month.  That defeats the whole point of this challenge.  I recall someone commenting on this during the Jan challenge how guys were relapsing  left and right and  continuing on as if nothing happened.  Lets get real    If you relapse than drop out of this little race and reflect on what made you relapse  learn from it  read more  and prepare yourself for  a March challenge

      Good luck guys  lets make it to the end of the month  remembering this is the short 28 day month

              Post often it helped me it will help you 

Checking in day 4/90.  Heavily triggered, somI am getting off the internet. 

Have a good one, guys.

Rich

Day 5 of Feb Challenge  and day 65 of current reboot  no pmo no mo no o  things moving along nicely

    Post often it helped me it will help you

yesterday I was fighting about 20 minutes to see or not see. I finally did not do it. I am on day 5.

I'm happy to see that people want to continue what I've started. As you might know already, I kinda disappeared for a while. I'm a mess and I'm very impulsive. I deleted my account last time. Nobody understands what's in my mind (not even me). It's like I'm bipolar or something. I do all kind of stupid, hard to understand shit. Just minutes ago I created a new account. I feel like I really need to belong to a community if I want to have a chance at all. By now, I'm a complete failure when it comes to the project that it was me who has started it. I fucked up the entire January, bingeing every 3 days like a routine, like the train arriving to the train station. Now it's February 5 where I live and I just binged today. And I binged on February 1st as well. I'm out of control. I don't know what to do. I could say I will commit to this challenge but I'm afraid I will just lie to everybody, including myself. I don't think I can do it when I set terms like "1 month without PMO." It scares me, it's like a burden on my shoulders. Maybe I should do it the other way and only take 1 day at a time, although I'm yet to figure out how to live like this.  I am embarrassed that I am the creator of the challenge and I'm the biggest failure. What example am I?

good to have you back. Try to count the small victories more and don't be so hard on yourself the whole time. It leads you nowhere.

Day 6 of the challenge  and day 66 or current reboot  all good