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Messages - Si

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 15
1
Success Stories / Re: One hundred days clean!
« on: May 13, 2018, 04:04:19 PM »
Great work mate.

2
You're fortunate you were able to have real sexual interactions with real people throughout your P use, so your recovery should be quicker than me (who is 32 used only PMO from age 14-30 and had no idea why I couldn't get up with women, couldn't even get up to P in the end). Good luck.
You'll be fully functioning as long as you ditch the P for good, no edging.

3
I doubt this one occasion set it off. Hey, the same happend to me last weekend. A girl I fancied was drunk and dragged me into a room in a house of a guy I'd literally just met, she tried to give me a BJ and... Nothing.

It wasn't pied or even performance anxiety, it was just damn awkward and uncomfortable.

Don't beat yourself up, sex for some only works if you're completely comfortable with someone/have a connection (I'm only just learning this btw)... But yea quit pmo anyway to be sure, only can bring positive results.

4
Success Stories / Re: My story of success
« on: April 24, 2018, 03:37:07 PM »
Any success story where the guy goes back to consistent quality success is a winner with me!! Thanks loads for sharing.

5
Ages 40 and up / Re: Looking for some advice
« on: April 22, 2018, 02:39:26 AM »
Is there such a thing as precum?  One of my old girlfriends got wet when we were making out.
I freaked and told her I did not want to have intercourse because of HIV infection.
Needless to say that was the end of that relationship.

Do men and women have precum?

By the way I am 60 and am a virgin!


Men release precum, womens vaginas lubricate when they become aroused, don't think it's called pre cum though.

The precum in men is enough to make a woman pregnant.

HIV is transferred through blood, not pre cum.

6
Ages 20-29 / Re: heroin/porn addict with pied
« on: April 20, 2018, 12:31:49 PM »
I was just diagnosed with osteoarthritis in my knees and I'm only 25....

I need to hear about your knees haha. But seriously, well done for getting back on the wagon. You'll get there.

But your arthritis. I'm interested. What are the symptoms if you don't mind me asking?

My drs are saying I have inflammation but I think they're wrong. I have burning knees internally and crackling when squatting. Doesn't feel good. Been like this for a couple of months now.

7
Success Stories / Re: It's been a long (successful) journey
« on: April 18, 2018, 12:16:18 AM »
Great success story. We need to hear these.
Awesome detail and really good results.

Congratulations.

8
Ages 40 and up / Re: THREE YEARS PORN-FREE!
« on: April 15, 2018, 12:45:32 PM »
(3 years 5 months porn-free)

Thanks so much for the update Lyon!

Just to clarify...

1. Your erections no longer worked before quitting.
2. Now your erection works every time you feel like being intimate and it stays?

9
Ages 40 and up / Re: Looking for some advice
« on: April 11, 2018, 01:18:25 PM »
not good thoughts

Papa, hang in there. You've come so far. It gets easier, better, sometimes frustrating but the end goal is closer to you now. If you get an urge, just do some pushups or something, get the heart racing. Think of what you have achieved and will achieve.

10
Success Stories / Re: Two Years Pornfree!
« on: April 09, 2018, 03:42:34 AM »
Great to see a decent success story, it's been a while. I know sex is less important now, but I gotta ask if sex it's working for you every time you want to have it? I don't mean are you horny all the time, but I mean when you're feeling like having sex and begin to engage in the activity, does your libido and erection hold up everytime you try? And how frequently are you having sex.

Thanks, and congratulations.


Edit!

Read your original post. You were having sex but with DE, not full blown ED and it took you 2 years... This is pretty worrying for me haha, but still, congratulations!!!

11
Is your husband in good shape? Is it worth him getting a hormone check just to rule it out?

12
Not sure. Had sensed some anxiety leading up to it, but bottom line is I think my libido just wasn't strong enough to keep it up.

13
Feeling very low at the minute following a failed attempt at intimacy last night despite not having any for a couple of weeks.

14
Sorry it's been so long since my last reply.  Things are going about the same, but I found feel like I'm getting my sex drive back.  I'm still not getting full erections but they're 100 times better than when I quit PMO!  Next week will be 16 months since my last PMO and I have 0 desire to ever go back to that miserable life!!

It's frustrating how slow and inconsistent the process can be for some. But you're on the right path. Keep going, it's the only option.

15
Success Stories / Re: partner success story
« on: March 30, 2018, 02:23:38 PM »
This is great aquarious, thanks for sharing. We bang on about erections all the time of course but the truth is we all just want to be better people with drive and passion for real life. Congratulations to you and your family, this is a really important update that shows the real benefits of quitting pmo outside the bedroom.

16
Success Stories / Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« on: March 30, 2018, 06:23:21 AM »
Just read all this again.

Blenderhead, you're the king!!!

I'm almost 2 years no pmo, 4 month hardmode (had a gf b4).

Mw and libido is insane, confidence is great and anxiety lessened.

I feel a bit scared to try sex though, incase I flat line again or my confidence and drive diminishes. It's a very dark place and I'm happy to be out of it, but I need some sex soon... But don't want to risk my progress.

What's a man with his new found erections to do?

Hi SI,

Thanks so much! I just decided to look at this site again and share my experiences. When I was rebooting (now it's a lifestyle for me, so I don't count days anymore) I was extremely depressed too and failed many times. I also thought my dick would never work again.

At the moment my libido has improved even more. I have a girlfriend now who is also in her thirties, and we have sex a lot. I orgasm too often these days perhaps, but my libido is still there every day. We have sex 4-6 times per week and sometimes for hours. I have started practicing more tantra, so I do not orgasm and when we have sex we take breaks when I am close to orgasm and I am getting better at massage. We have a great sex life at the moment! I don't think my libido has been better, because all my sexual energy is directed toward my girlfriend. I don't watch porn - I have accidentally watched a few mins.

Here are my tips:

1) Spend your energy on working out or other productive things
2) Go out more and talk with women and try to direct your sexdrive to real life interactions
3) Try day gaming (hit on women during the day)

I met many interesting girls this way and my girlfriend is impressed at my sexual experience. But I got much of this experience in just a few years.

And thanks! I'm really happy about this progress too. If I had not rebooted I fear my life would never have been fixed. Now I am focusing more on my career. It took me 3 years before I finally stopped having problems with PIED and now It's just a thing of the past, totally.

Best regards!

This is what I like to hear man!!! 4-6 times a week would do me fine. Or just every time I wanted it to work it would.

Great tips. I've been working out since I quit and interact more with women, but still struggling with a consistent libido. When it works though, it works well. When it doesn't, I'm no longer plagued by social anxiety like I was for so many years.

S'all good, it's all progress.

Thanks for updating!

17
Success Stories / Re: partner success story
« on: March 22, 2018, 06:23:20 PM »
Si, not too personal of a question I am happy to answer to help encourage other. He had/has battled PIED for most of his life. He started looking at porn since 13 and he is 37 now. He has off and on experienced PIED since he was 18. In my journal in the woman's section I go into the crazy way that I discovered this entire thing. I can laugh now because it is actually a funny store, but it has taken some time to get there, lol. He is much better sexually now than when we first met. I think that is for a few reasons. He is able to get erect pretty much when he wants. The only thing that limits him now is his confidence in himself. That is huge. The other thing that makes our sex life now so much better than when we first met is because of time. I think the one big thing that men don't seem to understand is just how different women (and I am generalizing here) view and experience sex. Most women can't even orgasm if they don't have a connection. It really is a big deal. I think a lot of guys on here put sex as a focus for the reboot when for most women they see sex as more of a barometer. Where there are issues in bed there are usually issues elsewhere in the relationship and since sex is one way women can connect with their partner then it makes them uneasy about where else the connection is lacking. So for me out sex life is better because we are talking more, connecting more, more open with each other. I feel like I know him more and he knows me. We both have a deeper more rooted relationship and interest in each other. That creates a new level of intimacy that can be expressed through sex. I hope that makes sense, lol. That may have been more answer than what you were looking for. I just think that too many guys come on here cause they broke their dicks and that is all they focus on. When they do that they miss the bigger picture. It's like having your arm broken and going to the ER and telling them to fix your finger! It is not what need 100% of your attention, lol. I have been on this forum for a while and from what I have read and experienced the men who focus on the root cause and really try to make a change to better their lives, they are the ones that have real success not just with reboot but with real happiness. The ones who just focus on sex and their dick's, I read relapse after relapse. It is really sad. I hope everyone can find true lasting healing.

Thanks for such an in depth response. I agree that sex isn't strictly about piv only too, and for a lot of men it probably is the same. We summarise it so black and white (erection/no erection) because we're blokes and to us that is the physical problem, but from 2 years of rebooting I've learned loads about sex and that I myself need that connection too for intimacy to work. This said though, for it to work for me, I need libido... The driving force that makes us want to connect in the first place. So I can be so connected and raging erection one night, only for the next night to not be able to connect (and therefore no boner) even in the exact same circumstances. It's not that I don't want to connect and therefore become intimate (I'll try anyway and satisfy my partner other ways but in reality I'm completely disconnected despite me finding her attractive) but if my libido is simply not there, the intimacy and connecting that were discussing is really hard to force.
Really glad things are looking up and thanks for the insight in to your partner's issues and improvements. Definitely given us hope (and I'm not just talking hope of getting an erection, I'm talking hope of restoring libido/desire to connect naturally).

18
OK, so let's distinguish rewiring v. rebooting.  Rebooting is quitting being addicted to using porn to trigger a dopamine rush.  The point of the reboot is to overcome the addiction.  Overcoming the addiction is, in and of itself, a perfectly good reason to reboot. Later, if you choose to rewire, as in rewire to actual sex, it's your choice.  You would be perfectly fine just getting the addiction off your back, in fact much better.  So, reboot, and take it from there.

did you find after the reboot that primal lust coming back again but towards a real girl boobs / butts etc ?

so far im experiencing heavy feelings to break my loneliness with a company of a woman and for some reason to make love...but still nothing as far as lust goes...

will lust come by itself or do I have to rewire for that..?

which IMO will be kind of hard considering what most girls want from a good looking guy not to brag about it

I just read Gabe's post how you know you are rebooted and had some very solid information which of course Ive not yet experienced.

I think that your natural human instinct towards real women should restore either way, as you can't erase evolution.

This said, when my libido is raging and I have sexual dreams/fantasy pops into my head, these days it's always involving real women or thoughts about sex with someone I've been with. So I think rewiring does help as it gives your brain memories based on real life. Memories of aspects of sex that P can't give you (smell/touch etc.).

But I think eventually even without rewiring specifically with someone this real instinct will restore, and rewiring doesn't necessarily have to be restricted to sex, or intimacy at all.

Just gaining confidence and interacting with women can be just as beneficial in my opinion. For example when my libido is high I feel more natural and charismstic in conversation, and inclined to talk to women. I think this is important too because it sparks that primal drive of evolution in your brain.

Obviously I don't know the real science behind that part, I'm only speaking from experience. I've been rebooting over 2 years and am really aware of when my libido is high and how it affects my interaction with people.
Don't let not being able to rewire bum u out.

19
Success Stories / Re: partner success story
« on: March 22, 2018, 08:45:17 AM »
Great success for you and your husband, he's lucky to have your support through this. I see he's had that habit hidden for over 10 years until it came out.. May I ask if the sex you're having now is better/more consistent then when you first met? Sorry if it's too personal a question.

20
Think that's what I tried actually haha, amongst other "hypnotherapy" type stuff. I'll give it another go.

21
I've dabbled in it in the early days. I thought some success early on was down to it, but I was naive to think I was fixed so quick and then gave it up once I went through so many flatlines. I might look into it again. Any particular recommendations?

23
Still recovering. Been about 26 months now.

Still having flatlines after some orgasms, but the symptoms are less severe. The social anxiety associated with them is not as bad, and I'm aware of this anxiety in the lead up to sex (I know when it's not gonna work) so even though I try to relax into it and enjoy myself I still feel quite disassociated from the moment, no matter how much I try to just enjoy the interaction. It cannot be forced or ignored, no matter what people might think. My brain is too aware of a fundamentally wrong issue.

I'm getting MW more frequently, even some during flatlines and sometimes the MW is painfully hard. I like this though.

Still not recovered, but still satisfied with my improvements no matter how slow.

I still wanna try the no orgasm approach but when my libido is raging and I'm having real good sex, it's damn hard to tell yourself not to come.. because it feels so natural to do so.

Anyway, orgasm or no orgasm I'm slowly getting there.

24
Tbh I tried this. Said I just wanted to be "friends". The lady was really cool with it and said she'd help me rewire, but when it came to it I felt that to rewire to real sex, for me that meant letting myself really connect with a woman, and if the woman I was to have sex with I didn't feel that connected with then, it would've just been a physical thing and I didn't like the idea of that... Plus it would of been a relationship regardless and I decided I just wasn't that into the person as I wanted to be. A guy with Ed getting fussy.. what ever next.

25
It's helped mine tremendously. I think it comes down to libido.

For 15 years I was a socially awkward outcast with women, men, family, colleagues, managers, strangers. When I was a kid I was full of charisma and social charm... I just thought that the latter me was how I always was meant to be, but looking back I realise something pivotal went seriously wrong.

Now my libido is back, all that social interactivity and charisma is showing it's face again. It's like that part of my brain was in sleep mode for so, so long.

I gotta say, it's libido for me. For 15 years I'd drained my libido due to excessive porn consumption and dopamine overload. It caused my human instinct to deteriorate as my brain was "satisfied" with how much I was "procreating" (brain doesn't know the difference between porn and reality) so there was no reason for me to have any social drive to get me through life, interact with real people and start a real relationship and family.

Long story short, I'm a much less socially awkward person now thanks to quitting pmo 2 years ago.

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