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Messages - andyjee86

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Thanks for your honesty. Sounds like you have a lot of fun lined up for the future!!

I'm 36, and I wasted the better part of my life on this fucking bullshit. Peace.
Sickening isn't it? I'm 31, and really feel i got the short straw in terms of the awareness becomming known on this. Feel like a laboratory test rat robbed of the last 15 years! But anyway, what's done is done, my sex life has only just begun and it feels amazing. Death trap, do you ever think about your options when it comes to making up for lost time? What i mean is, do you resent the experiences you missed out on or are you content just accepting you missed out on amazing sex whilst everyone else was shagging through their youth/twenties?

Success Stories / Re: 31 yo putting PIED behind me
« on: March 21, 2017, 06:50:15 AM »
Thank you for sharing this. I know it was a while a go. It's interesting how peoples perception of success with PIED varies. I recognised a lot of my early recovery journey in your post. I too definitely don't M anymore and just reserve my sexual energy for sex. If i want to be "satisfied" these days I'll go about it the old fashioned way and only do it through real human interaction. It actually makes the days leading up to sex so much more thrilling.

bro all these things will happen sometimes you will have night falls as well, sometimes you will get the random erection but it will go in like 5 seconds. don't get distracted by all these false hopes of erection that you are all good all you have to do is say no to porn and-and don't masturbate even if you are with your GF, do things but don't go to orgasm and if you can't control just do it, coz your GF is real all those girls fucking in your PC are not. just stay strong when you get the craving for sex or porn think about the times when you get flatline the hopelessness it gives you, but trust me, my brother, there is hope there is light at the end of the tunnel. All you have to do is stay strong don't give up and one-day things will get awesome for you. PS anytime you feel like watching porn remind you the suffering of flatline and depression it gives

Man, you gave all this great advice then i saw your counter on 4 days!! What happend (other than the obvious)? Is this a glitch or a systematical error?

Ages 30-39 / Re: Reboot Journal - 31yo married w/son
« on: March 15, 2017, 06:56:30 AM »
Great words to encourage those that are starting out or struggling. I think it must be way more challenging to sort this mess out when you're in a long term relationship. My relationship ended which was what gave me the kick to give it up and start living a pmo free life. You're an inspiration to this guys who are married with kids and your proof that this can be turned around.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Reboot Journal - 31yo married w/son
« on: March 13, 2017, 10:14:34 PM »
After he went to bed we finished the book we were reading and made great love. Then passed the fuck out. Lol.

YES mate!!! Great work.

Sometimes I'm just not horny!  Used to think I was horny all the damn time, it was so annoying hahaha.  But that was my brain just tricking me to go watch some porn.

I can relate to this. I think a massive part of the problem with PIED is that even though we weren't horny, we were still subjecting our brain to intense simulation, whether it really wanted it or not, because we were addicted to the reward chemistry. It has sexually exhausted us, so no wonder our brains want to rest.

I think there's a big difference between a flatline and not being horny. Not being horny is normal, however if push came to shove and a beautiful girl started stimulating you (even when not feeling horny), you should still be able to rise to the occasion. Would you agree Pr3ct1ce? Or at least, if you began "rising" to the occasion, that erection should maintain throughout intercourse.

I hope that a failing erection mid way through intercourse isn't simply to be put down to not being horny, and being normal. I think this is the type of clarification I'm after from Pr3ct1ce and other fully rebooted guys. Just as a sanity check.



This site helped me so much in my reboot.  I feel like I should pay it forward :)

Awesome stuff this. So, just to be ABSOLUTELY clear. You can have successful sex every time you want to have sex?

Congrats man!
you have inspired me because i am 105 days into my reboot. I think im in a flatline right now and it sucks!!

Nah man, flatline is the best!! makes the reboot so much easier :)  Look forward to your flatlines!  Don't let them freak you out.

How many flat lines did you have? And how much sex throughout your reboot? I think I've had a minimum of 10 flat lines.

Wow, I've seen GPs, sex therapists, urologists over the last 8 years or so (was that long ago when I first realised I couldn't get it up with a woman, at all) and back then no one ever hinted at the porn. They instead, encouraged me to watch it. Now, when I mention the porn, they don't immediately dismiss it, but they brush over it.

Thanks for sharing. Congrats.

Success Stories / Re: 500 days! :')
« on: March 02, 2017, 09:56:22 AM »
Thanks for the reply. I'm having sex around 3x a week too with no repercussions and I'm lasting longer. Still not sure what would happen if I did it every day, but I prob won't get the chance anyway so I'm not worrying. Great news! Congrats again.

Sounds like it's worth a go. I lasted much longer last night funnily enough, I'd had sex the day before and had been horny as f#*k for days with no sex so I blew really quickly, but it really felt like I was a teenager again, felt great... For me anyway. So I think since I'd got that out of the way the previous night, last night I was more in control and less ready to blow my load. More sex will probably work for me, but as we know with PIED recovery, too much sex too soon can lead to flat line. I'm just grateful my d#&k is working again.

Have heard of this before actually, it sounds worth a go. Don't really wanna M in the shower but hopefully I'm beyond the point where that will make me regress. Thanks.

I've considered practicing the "Start and Stop" method, but I'm worried it's too much like "Edging" to P. Anyone else rebooted and tried this without negative effects?

I dunno man sorry. 112 days is still pretty early though. Hopefully time will improve things? Are you able to get a solid erection everytime for sex? If yes, then what's the harm in practicing more frequent sex? I'd like to last a bit longer too, so I'm gonna try condoms. There's those numbing lubes you can get but I don't know how effective they are. Someone will probably recommend kegels? Let me know if things improve and what you do. I wouldn't say I have had PE but I'd like to last longer all the same.

Oh and your English is very good.

Success Stories / Re: 2 years and 10 months P free!
« on: February 22, 2017, 02:46:12 AM »
Thanks for sharing your story. So u think your PE is due to PMO even after all this time? Sounds like you recovered quick, maybe because you hadn't had PIED that long and had really intimacy under your belt? That's really lucky you sorted it quickly. Well done for recognising it and thanks for sharing. 

This is totally normal. It will feel like your death grip has desensitised your dick, definitely. But it really does come back. I abused my penis for years to the point where I believe I've damaged veins in it... But even then I carried on with death grip for a further 8 years or so, so I know how it feels to believe there is no sensitivity down there. But it will come back, honest! I'm a worse case scenario PIED example, and in a year my dick has gone from zero to hero progressively. The turning point for me was rewiring as it made me think less about visual simulation and more about other aspects of arousal which when they're all put together make one serious boner. Porn teaches us to just rely on visual stimulus. Think less about the boner and learn to really admire, love your woman and crave her smell and the warmth between you and that will hopefully help change your  outlook on what sex is. It takes ages sometimes to get rid of the P scars which are imprinted on your brain, but over time it really will improve. You sound young and relatively new to this PIED and have health checks done, so you need to be patient and begin enjoying life without this addiction.

Should get better over time. Try lots of lube, changing positions, and slowing your breathing. Wear a condom if you're not already. I was really quick too once I started beating PIED, but as your confidence increases so will your control of your penis.

4.5 years?? Come on man, what has been happening in those years to have you still struggling? To answer your question though, I think if my gf is wandering round naked, I can choose whether or not to let myself be turned on. Sometimes I'm just turned on when she's fully clothed... Basically, it's a complicated subject which no one fully understands, but we know that no PMO will help a lot of people recover a more normal sex life. I think, any rewiring is good, but I have slipped up where I've tried to force myself to be turned on by over focusing on physical aspects in sex. When I'm out of flatline though or if I haven't had sex in a while, smells, sound and feel is all I need to blow my load with a solid erection. Hey I'm still working on it too, all the best.

Success Stories / Re: 500 days! :')
« on: February 14, 2017, 11:51:49 AM »
Congratulations mate. How much sex have you had and has it worked every time? Can you have limitless sex (when you want it) without repercussions? Thanks for your honesty.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Sex for the first time.
« on: February 09, 2017, 02:42:54 PM »
I know that post orgasm feeling Bob. Well done by the way.  The long refractory period/depressing feeling for me still happens if I have too much sex, but it definitely has improved dramatically over the months. But sometimes the day after orgasm I feel amazing and think so much about sex that when I try have it again I fail ha.. either way it's a fail so I try not too think about sex and subconsciously try avoid too much sex. But this is also improving. My advice is to continue what you're doing, if you're 100% erect after P abstinence and are rebooting with partners, then it's all good, just don't expect a linear recovery. I expected to be able to perform every time when I finally got my erections back and that screwed with my mind a lot until I got on rebootnation for support. Good luck.

Sounds pretty tough man. I'd of expected some improvements in a whole year without P. If it is truly a urological issue and not psychological then obviously the advice you'll get from your docs/urologists is what your after. We can only encourage you to stop watching porn. I would say give up the orgasm though, definitely worth a try. Maybe your orgasms are still tricking your brain into thinking your doing pmo still? You said you have improvements after 2 month without orgasm... Personally if I had the problems you are describing (I had 0% erections to absolutely anything a year ago) I sure as hell would not be doing ANY orgasms at all unless that penis was at full pitch. The overnight thing is odd, but not impossible to relate to PMO? Do u think you're not fully committed/in denial? You gotta at least go more than 2 or 3 month to begin with surely? Try hard mode for longer?

Ages 30-39 / Re: 2 weeks and counting
« on: February 07, 2017, 02:44:18 AM »
Hey Malando,
Thanks for the advice.  I would say my ED isnt as bad as when I was heavily using,  but it isn't all better either.  You are right,  I should get checked out.  I'll have to wait until all this health insurance stuff gets sorted out,  but I need to do it.  I think there might be a possibility that I may have below average testosterone,  but in all likely hood I think my ED is really just in my head.  I've thought about it,  and I think I was mind-screwing myself even before my PA.  And since P use defined my teenage sexual experiences I think I'm totally lost.  I don't even know what me being sexually healthy is,  since I've been using since puberty basically.  I've talked with my SO a bit and we are considering maybe some online counseling?  I'm just feeling like I don't even know where to begin,  my sexual anxiety is so deep it feels like its across all levels on my conscious and subconscious mind. 
I'm considering starting a new journal.  I feel like my SO and I have reached "phase 2",  which is rebuilding our relationship and finding greater mental health and healthier communication.

So, so similar to me this mate. I know how you feel, so you're not alone. I too PMO'd through teens and probably had low libido and PIED for the last 10 years without even knowing it... Any sexual failure I put down to anxiety rather than the (now) bleedingly obvious P.

I also questioned testosterone and yes it's a good idea to get it checked, though the numbers aren't that representative unless you test a lot! Check other symptoms, such as hair loss, low mood (well, duh that's a stupid one for us I know), muscle atrophy etc.

Judging by your counter, if your PIED is anywhere near as deep rooted as mine, then you gotta be patient. I'm fed up that my recovery is taking so long but I know I'm making improvements each month, so keep holding out on this.

I don't know what my sexual "normal" is either, I don't know how frequently I would "want" sex if I didn't get into this PMO crap, but I do know that we "should" generally be able to get and maintain an erection when we "want" one. And right now, I can do this about 80% of the time. I don't think it's "normal" for anyone to start getting an erection and then lose it for the rest of the night (me), but it's normal to just not really fancy sex now and then.

If you're still having your erection/libido vanish during or shortly after instigating sex, then I'd guess that your still healing from PIED and not to worry too much about testosterone yet, considering your still quite fresh into a reboot (I know it's a long time, but we have severe PIED due to age introduced to P and frequency so it will take longer).

Ages 30-39 / Re: Reboot Journal - 31yo married w/son
« on: February 03, 2017, 07:56:00 AM »
Sounds good. Glad you had a good time "upstairs" ;), if that's what you meant of course.

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