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Messages - Gabe Deem

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 28
1
Porn Addiction / Re: 12000 warriors
« on: July 06, 2018, 10:10:04 AM »
Great points Sender! We are doing everything we can to change #2. And each and every post from members here helps. Keep truckin.

2
Porn Addiction / Inappropriate Private Messages
« on: May 24, 2018, 09:19:46 AM »
Hey Nation! It has repeatedly been brought to my attention that some of you are getting inappropriate and offensive personal messages. Myself and the mods have done our best to remove any members who engage in this behavior and we will continue to do so with your help. Please continue to let us know if you get odd/inappropriate messages, and we will continue to take action accordingly.

The only way to stop this behavior before it happens, rather than reacting to it after the fact would be to make new members have to comment a couple times before unlocking private message privileges. This is not something I want to do, as many people sign up who just want to ask a quick question about recovery, or desperately need help, or journalist/producers who want to quickly connect for a story.

If you have any thoughts or suggestions on the matter please comment. I hope everyone has a great day!

Keep truckin' and Much Love.

3
Porn Addiction / Re: PE Caused by PIED
« on: April 16, 2018, 10:06:39 PM »
Erection Quality

4
Partners of Rebooters and Addicts / Re: heads up ladies
« on: April 16, 2018, 09:49:32 AM »
Can you PM me message and member name?

5
Porn Addiction / Re: Yourbrainrebalanced down?
« on: April 16, 2018, 07:11:50 AM »
It was briefly down yesterday but is back up and running.

6
@Bubble10
Quote
Should I just stop caring if I happen to look at something arousing

Yes. Avoid the behavior of seeking and searching for material to be aroused by, and take the "I can appreciate beauty", and the "oh well" approach if you do in fact see something that would arouse you. Reinforcing the neurological wiring for seeking & searching for content, then conciously choosing to be aroused by said content, is what you want to avoid. Stumbling across something that may or may not arouse you is called living life.

I "stumbled" across many images during my recovery and at times over thought things like "oh no, did that just reinforce my porn pathways?!!," but over time, I recovered just fine and can handle whatever life throws my way in our pornified culture.

Don't think of just porn being the problem, think of the behavior of intentionally seeking out porn to arouse yourself as the problem. Stumbling across an image or watching a movie with a sex scene is not the problem.

That's just my advice of how to think about it. It has helped me tremendously in my ability to not overthink things. Hope that helps.

7
Welcome to the Nation @Zoltan,

If you haven't already, I'd encourage you to check out our vids on YouTube to help get you started. This one goes over the basics of rebooting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4yx4ouxGbQ&t

And the others have advice and answer some FAQ's so skim through those as well. Hope the best for you! It's never a bad idea to go to a doctor and I'd encourage you to do that if you're unsure if it is pied or not. If you can get an erection to porn though, it seems the pipes are working just fine. Here is a quick vid on that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltIjTeDKIh4&t

Much love


8
Success Stories / Re: Need Motivation? Hear Me Out! Short and Sweet
« on: March 28, 2018, 09:23:40 AM »
@Icandothis1102
Quote
After you completely recovered, were you getting rock hard, 10/10 erections on a consistent basis (when aroused/having sex)?

Yes. After the 9 month mark. I was cautious for another half a year and tried not to have tons of orgasms, and spaced them out for a while. And I continued to feel mental benefits for up to 2 years.


@Jimthejones
Quote
do you watch tv now?

Yes. Usually just shows on Netflix with my girlfriend, or the occasional big sports game.

@mike510
Quote
I'm thinking because I haven't had sex in a long time..what are some ways or tips to get rid of premature ejaculation?

My advice would be to have slow gentle sex, without the end goal of orgasm in mind. This type of sex is called Karezza and you can google it to read up on it. I found this helpful to me in combating post reboot premature ejaculation. Conditioning your arousal to "take things slow" tends to be helpful to rebooters struggling with this. Also, intense exercise and meditation often times are helpful for PE, if you're not already doing those I'd start regularly including them in your daily routine.

@Iwillbeatit
Quote
I just want to know after orgasm i have been facing flatline and still making progress or I am back to day 1?

Of course you're still making progress, and no, you're not back at day 1. Avoiding artificial sexual stimulation is the goal, and rewiring to a real partner, which is what you did. Experiencing a "flatline" is common after orgasm during the reboot, I experienced this as well from months 6-9 in my reboot. My advice is to space out your orgasms (not necessarily eliminate) and read this article and listen to the advice in contains within: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/porn-recovery-and-mysterious-flatline

In the end you're going to have to decide what is best for you and experiment based on how you feel. Remember, as long as you're not reinforcing the arousal pathways to pixels on a screen or any artificial stimulation, you're progressing through recovery. Hope the best for you. Much love and keep truckin.

9
Porn Addiction / Re: Withdrawal/insomnia is real
« on: March 28, 2018, 09:13:12 AM »
@Jz15
Quote
I'd like to reply only from respect that I've lost count on how many times I've watched, it along with every available video from you and Noah....can't believe how much you guys have helped me and all of us here...

So awesome to hear that they've been helpful man. Hearing this keeps me motivated to keep doing what I can. I'm working on a vid right now that will explain addiction and porn's potential impact to kids 10 to 13 ish. Be on the lookout this weekend for it and pass it along to any parents you may know who would be interested = )

Again, thanks for commenting. I hope the best for you and much love!

10
Read this FAQ for info and advice on fantasy during a reboot: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/what-about-fantasizing-during-reboot

Hope you find it helpful. Much love

11
Quote
I struggle to get erections when I am standing up

Quote
I have tried and have been able to masturbate to porn standing up but is difficult without

Quote
I find that if I stop stimulation I lose the erection quicker than with porn

Quote
I'm pretty sure I have a mild form of pied

I'd agree it sounds like it. A reboot could never hurt to try. You're 20 years old you shouldn't lose your erection with partners in the middle of sex.

Congrats on one month. Keep truckin and I hope the best for you. Much love

12
Porn Addiction / Re: Withdrawal/insomnia is real
« on: March 28, 2018, 07:35:26 AM »
Could be Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms (PAWS) or could be normal life stresses. Check out our withdrawal video if you haven't. You may find it helpful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxtQq0jBncc&t

13
Porn Addiction / Re: Government Petition Concerning PIED
« on: March 28, 2018, 07:33:42 AM »
ATTN: UK Rebooters ^ Bumping this for you.

14
Porn Addiction / Re: Is restraining from P or M more important?
« on: March 10, 2018, 02:26:38 PM »
@21zo
Quote
Do you think staying away from M is just as important as staying away from P

No. Porn addiction and porn-induced ED are a result of wiring your arousal to pixels, becoming addicted to the behavior of seeking and searching novel artificial stimulation. Although, some rebooters do report staying away from M helps during the reboot process.

The following is from our Reboot Basics post:

"To masturbate, or not to masturbate, that is the question"

As stated, we have only two "rules': 1) Stop using artificial sexual stimuli, and 2) Do what works for you. Many guys have discovered it is helpful to eliminate or drastically reduce masturbation/orgasm during a reboot. Possible reasons to drastically reduce or eliminate masturbation during a reboot:

1. If you have porn-induced ED, your brain is saying: "I can't do this anymore". Understand that your urge to masturbate is not true libido - you are addicted to porn, or your sexuality is conditioned to pixels. If you need porn to masturbate, or have a partially erect penis when you do, you are not horny or in need of "release". You are addicted and seeking a fix: a temporary dopamine high.

2.The majority of men with porn-induced ED need to drastically reduce masturbation and orgasm. When you have a pathology, you usually need to do more than just eliminate the cause - in this case porn use. You don't generally break a leg by putting weight on it. However, once it's broken you have to cast it, use crutches and eliminate walking while you heal. Same goes for porn-induced ED. You don't have to wear a cast, but you need to give your brain time to heal, free of intense sexual stimulation.

Masturbation and porn use are tightly wired together. Like Pavlov's dog that salivated when it heard the bell, you will start drooling for porn when masturbating. Time is needed to weaken the neural connections intertwining wanking and watching.

Recovery may be easier without masturbation/orgasm. Remove masturbation/orgasm from the equation and most guys experience a sharp decline in sexual desire, we call the flatline. (See: "HELP! I quit porn, but my potency, genital size, and libido are decreasing")

When you also eliminate orgasm/masturbation, not just porn, it seems to precipitate a more complete and deeper withdrawal, and thus healing.
 
Masturbation and orgasm strongly reactivate cravings to use porn. It has been surprising to witness that most men have an easier time eliminating masturbation than they do porn. For most guys with porn addiction, masturbation is simply not that interesting without porn, and they are amazed to discover that porn, not their libido, was driving their constant search for relief.

Caveat: All the above is based on the current feedback given to us by successful rebooters. It is subject to change.

Caveat 2: Some guys with porn-induced ED need to orgasm in order to jump-start their brains after a reboot or extended flatline

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=67.0


15
William, great points as always! Thank you again and again for the valuable feedback and thoughtful contributions and insight you bring to the recovery community.

Quote
I know this is a big question with a potentially broad answer, but where do you see porn addiction and porn addiction recovery in 15 years, and what role in porn recovery do you see free sites like this one, that far in the future?

Well, as for the actual addiction and those suffering because of it, I see it growing in both number and severity. With the advent of VR porn attached to headsets and synced up sex toys, I can see many people wiring their arousal to that experience and being unable to function sexually without it, along with being completely uninterested in the real thing. On the other side of this, I think a growing number of people will be ok with this. They will identify as Pornosexuals, where they have no desire to be with a real person, not just physiologically, but consciously will choose porn over people. Although not a perfect comparison, these people will be like smokers today, fully aware of negative effects yet choosing to "have fun while it lasts" and be completely ok with what happens because they'd rather get a consistent dopamine hit from cigs than live a balanced life without it.

As for the recovery forums like reboot nation, I think they will always be the way they are, for the most part. I see the recovery forums as a safe place to discuss recovery and journal about the reboot process, and I don't think that will ever go away. There will be more and more face-to-face meetings for something like Porn Addicts Anonymous, and I predict an explosion of internet addiction recovery programs, but online and places you can check yourself into like rehab. We've already seen internet addiction "bootcamps" in other countries where parents can send their kids in hopes to get them unplugged and "rebooted."

Reboot Nation will always be free, but I could see more personal coaching in the future, both on this site and others, where those who need that extra personal help or tailored advice, there is potential to point people to coaches. I already do this, when people ask me for professional help I point them to Dr Todd Love or Coach Noah Church to help them through the reboot process. And along with that, there will probably be a growing number of professionals who specialize in porn addiction.

The biggest change I want to see in the future is with education. I think we should be teaching children as young as 5 the basics of neuroscience, and eventually teach the science behind sexual conditioning and porn addiction, specifically by the time they are going through puberty. It is clear those who are wiring their arousal deeply during their adolescence are struggling the most, and taking the longest to reboot, and I think if kids do not recieve the information they need before their sexuality is wiring up to their enviornment entire lives may be ruined. I see this as the biggest battle moving forward, and why the mainstream debate about porn's effects is so important, and why Gary and I will spend all of our spare time if necessary to make sure the world is getting correct information and not being mislead or lied to.

 Keep truckin William, you're continuous support and encouragement to others has encouraged me as well to keep pushing forward to make the world a better place. Much Love.

16
Hey Nation,

Was fortunate enough to do an interview with Dr Suzanne Phillips on her podcast Psych Up Live. We discussed porn addiction, physical and mental symptoms, the reboot process, and better sex ed, among other things. If you want to give it a listen it is about 45 minutes if you skip the breaks.

Hope everyone has a great porn-free day! Keep truckin Nation and much love.

https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/105144/a-story-of-ending-porn-addiction-and-starting-reboot-nation

17
Porn Addiction / Re: Is it okay to masturbate without porn?
« on: February 16, 2018, 10:15:07 AM »
Hey Tank,

Reboot Nation's stance is porn is the main problem, (if you have a porn addiction or porn-induced sexual dysfunction) masturbation (without porn or porn fantasy) is up to the individual rebooter. This is from our Basics of Rebooting page:

"To masturbate, or not to masturbate, that is the question"

As stated, we have only two "rules': 1) Stop using artificial sexual stimuli, and 2) Do what works for you. Many guys have discovered it is helpful to eliminate or drastically reduce masturbation/orgasm during a reboot. Possible reasons to drastically reduce or eliminate masturbation during a reboot:

1. If you have porn-induced ED, your brain is saying: "I can't do this anymore". Understand that your urge to masturbate is not true libido - you are addicted to porn, or your sexuality is conditioned to pixels. If you need porn to masturbate, or have a partially erect penis when you do, you are not horny or in need of "release". You are addicted and seeking a fix: a temporary dopamine high.

2.The majority of men with porn-induced ED need to drastically reduce masturbation and orgasm. When you have a pathology, you usually need to do more than just eliminate the cause - in this case porn use. You don't generally break a leg by putting weight on it. However, once it's broken you have to cast it, use crutches and eliminate walking while you heal. Same goes for porn-induced ED. You don't have to wear a cast, but you need to give your brain time to heal, free of intense sexual stimulation.

Masturbation and porn use are tightly wired together. Like Pavlov's dog that salivated when it heard the bell, you will start drooling for porn when masturbating. Time is needed to weaken the neural connections intertwining wanking and watching.

Recovery may be easier without masturbation/orgasm. Remove masturbation/orgasm from the equation and most guys experience a sharp decline in sexual desire, we call the flatline. (See: "HELP! I quit porn, but my potency, genital size, and libido are decreasing")

When you also eliminate orgasm/masturbation, not just porn, it seems to precipitate a more complete and deeper withdrawal, and thus healing.
 
Masturbation and orgasm strongly reactivate cravings to use porn. It has been surprising to witness that most men have an easier time eliminating masturbation than they do porn. For most guys with porn addiction, masturbation is simply not that interesting without porn, and they are amazed to discover that porn, not their libido, was driving their constant search for relief.

Caveat: All the above is based on the current feedback given to us by successful rebooters. It is subject to change.

Caveat 2: Some guys with porn-induced ED need to orgasm in order to jump-start their brains after a reboot or extended flatline

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=67.0

18
Shared my story quickly, and talked about what Sex ed is missing. Raised awareness in Dublin, Ireland. Hope some of you can find it helpful. About 18 mins: https://www.fm104.ie/on-air/shows/fm104-phoneshow/podcasts/february-(1)/reboot-nation-how-to-deal-with-porn-addiction/

Much love and keep truckin!

19
Porn Addiction / Have any questions for myself or Dr. Andrew Doan
« on: January 25, 2018, 06:22:11 PM »
Hey Nation,

Tomorrow I am recording a new show with Dr. Andrew Doan, a brilliant neuroscientist and expert on digital media addictions, where we  will discuss research on behavioral addictions (primarily porn/gaming). One of my goals with the show will be to separate fact from fiction, in regards to what people are experiencing, and the science behind our experiences.

We will have a brief Q&A section of the show where we will pull questions off Reboot Nation and other forums or social media. Tomorrow we will be discussing Addiction in general, whether behavioral addictions are real addictions, and directing a podcast that was skeptical of gaming addiction.

So, please ask any question you'd like and we if we're able we will answer it on the show. Much Love,

Gabe

20
@ Slavy brazy

So glad you found our videos helpful! And Congrats on one month free my man. Hope the best for you and hope this community and forum can help you along the way to recovery and a better life. Much love

21
Porn Addiction / Your Brain On Porn the book AVAILABLE in Arabic!!
« on: December 13, 2017, 02:46:01 PM »
What's up Nation,

My number one goal with Reboot Nation is to help people. And my strategy for achieving that was to focus on raising awareness. I have good news. The book Your Brain On Porn is now available in arabic! I've received several messages over the last couple of years asking for translations of helpful material into arabic, and the YBOP book is the most informative piece of work on the subject in my opinion. Would you please share this link/information with anyone you may know that could benefit or help get the word out. Here is a direct link - http://commonwealth-publishing.com/shop/your-brain-on-porn-arabic/


22
Porn Addiction / Re: Interesting Talks About Addiction
« on: November 01, 2017, 08:44:37 AM »
There are several problems with the statements made in this talk. Read this critique of it here: https://yourbrainonporn.com/commentary-everything-we-think-we-know-about-addiction-wrong-nutshell

In short, not all addicts lack connection.

23
After watching the "Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong" video, read this. There are a lot of problems with the statements made in it.

In short, not all addicts lack connection.

https://yourbrainonporn.com/commentary-everything-we-think-we-know-about-addiction-wrong-nutshell

24
@Tom123 my goal is to raise awareness so people can find help. So I'm glad you're here and I hope the best for you! Much Love

25
Hey Nation,

I was interviewed for this piece on RollingStone.com raising awareness on porn-induced ED. Noah Church and myself were fortunate enough to share a little bit about our story. While I have my issues with it (1: The warning on Gary's TEDx talk is bullshit, as his talk isn't even about masturbation. 2: Left out the fact that guys with PIED cannot masturbate without porn, ruling out "performance anxiety. 3: Left out all research correlating porn use to sexual problems/case studies documenting young guys recovering from pied/de by rebooting etc...) It will hopefully raise awareness and start more discussion about what we're experiencing in communities such as this. Give it a read..big win for awareness of porn-induced dysfunction and potential negative effects.

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/features/is-internet-porn-making-young-men-impotent-w503299

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