Hello to all of my forum bro's.
I'll give you the Reader's Digest version of my story and build from there. I started masturbating after being shown hardcore (print) porn at the age of 14. I masturbated from 1969 onwards until December of 2012 when I stumbled into Your Brain on Porn
literally in the middle of a porn binge. I saw the videos and have not watched porn since.
That was December 2, 2012. I had a masturbation relapse on December 27, 2012 and I've been celibate ever since. No worries, no blue balls, no problems. My journey to freedom was relatively easy, but there were challenging moments along the way.
Perhaps I should start off by stating a few things for the record:
- My reasons for stopping PMO are not religious.
While I consider myself a Christian I do not think that masturbation somehow offends God. I do think that it is not good for a person, however, and I believe it has a negative effect upon healthy sexuality.
- While I am currently celibate I am not anti-sex or an ascetic.
I don't have an intimate partner and I'm holding out until I am in an intimate relationship. I don't want casual sex, a f'k buddy, etc. I feel, from a lifetime of experience, that true satisfaction comes from sharing an emotionally close relationship with someone. Nothing else will do.
- While I am a believer. I do not seek to impose my beliefs upon others.
I won't try to convert anyone to my point of view. If someone mentions a Higher Power in their journal I may choose to follow that line of conversation with them but I will not try to bring up the subject with someone that has not indicated that they believe in a Higher Power. Conversely, I do not want others to try to criticize my decisions in these matters. I will not criticize your beliefs, whatever they are, but expect the same treatment from others.
- I have concluded that no masturbation is the way to go.
This is not a moral stance as such, I simply believe that one can either be wired to self pleasuring or wired to share sexual pleasure with a partner. It is my opinion that trying to do both just doesn't work.
- ED and DE are symptoms of deeper problems.
Trying to reboot just long enough to repair ED is only part of the story. From my reboot and from the reboots of others I have come to believe that most porn/masturbation addicts are dealing with deeper issues. Sexual molestation as a child, precocious sexual activity, a fantasy life because of unhappy family circumstances, etc. These are things I've seen in the journals of others and some of these apply directly to my life. Stopping PMO unveils these deeper issues and allows us to deal with them, perhaps for the first time ever.
- Breaking free of porn addiction will help you to lead a happier life with greater confidence and a sense of maturity that may have evaded you in the past.
I know that I feel like I am truly an adult for the first time in my life. Well . . . better late than never.