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Messages - andyjee86

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Should get better over time. Try lots of lube, changing positions, and slowing your breathing. Wear a condom if you're not already. I was really quick too once I started beating PIED, but as your confidence increases so will your control of your penis.

4.5 years?? Come on man, what has been happening in those years to have you still struggling? To answer your question though, I think if my gf is wandering round naked, I can choose whether or not to let myself be turned on. Sometimes I'm just turned on when she's fully clothed... Basically, it's a complicated subject which no one fully understands, but we know that no PMO will help a lot of people recover a more normal sex life. I think, any rewiring is good, but I have slipped up where I've tried to force myself to be turned on by over focusing on physical aspects in sex. When I'm out of flatline though or if I haven't had sex in a while, smells, sound and feel is all I need to blow my load with a solid erection. Hey I'm still working on it too, all the best.

Success Stories / Re: 500 days! :')
« on: February 14, 2017, 11:51:49 AM »
Congratulations mate. How much sex have you had and has it worked every time? Can you have limitless sex (when you want it) without repercussions? Thanks for your honesty.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Sex for the first time.
« on: February 09, 2017, 02:42:54 PM »
I know that post orgasm feeling Bob. Well done by the way.  The long refractory period/depressing feeling for me still happens if I have too much sex, but it definitely has improved dramatically over the months. But sometimes the day after orgasm I feel amazing and think so much about sex that when I try have it again I fail ha.. either way it's a fail so I try not too think about sex and subconsciously try avoid too much sex. But this is also improving. My advice is to continue what you're doing, if you're 100% erect after P abstinence and are rebooting with partners, then it's all good, just don't expect a linear recovery. I expected to be able to perform every time when I finally got my erections back and that screwed with my mind a lot until I got on rebootnation for support. Good luck.

Sounds pretty tough man. I'd of expected some improvements in a whole year without P. If it is truly a urological issue and not psychological then obviously the advice you'll get from your docs/urologists is what your after. We can only encourage you to stop watching porn. I would say give up the orgasm though, definitely worth a try. Maybe your orgasms are still tricking your brain into thinking your doing pmo still? You said you have improvements after 2 month without orgasm... Personally if I had the problems you are describing (I had 0% erections to absolutely anything a year ago) I sure as hell would not be doing ANY orgasms at all unless that penis was at full pitch. The overnight thing is odd, but not impossible to relate to PMO? Do u think you're not fully committed/in denial? You gotta at least go more than 2 or 3 month to begin with surely? Try hard mode for longer?

Ages 30-39 / Re: 2 weeks and counting
« on: February 07, 2017, 02:44:18 AM »
Hey Malando,
Thanks for the advice.  I would say my ED isnt as bad as when I was heavily using,  but it isn't all better either.  You are right,  I should get checked out.  I'll have to wait until all this health insurance stuff gets sorted out,  but I need to do it.  I think there might be a possibility that I may have below average testosterone,  but in all likely hood I think my ED is really just in my head.  I've thought about it,  and I think I was mind-screwing myself even before my PA.  And since P use defined my teenage sexual experiences I think I'm totally lost.  I don't even know what me being sexually healthy is,  since I've been using since puberty basically.  I've talked with my SO a bit and we are considering maybe some online counseling?  I'm just feeling like I don't even know where to begin,  my sexual anxiety is so deep it feels like its across all levels on my conscious and subconscious mind. 
I'm considering starting a new journal.  I feel like my SO and I have reached "phase 2",  which is rebuilding our relationship and finding greater mental health and healthier communication.

So, so similar to me this mate. I know how you feel, so you're not alone. I too PMO'd through teens and probably had low libido and PIED for the last 10 years without even knowing it... Any sexual failure I put down to anxiety rather than the (now) bleedingly obvious P.

I also questioned testosterone and yes it's a good idea to get it checked, though the numbers aren't that representative unless you test a lot! Check other symptoms, such as hair loss, low mood (well, duh that's a stupid one for us I know), muscle atrophy etc.

Judging by your counter, if your PIED is anywhere near as deep rooted as mine, then you gotta be patient. I'm fed up that my recovery is taking so long but I know I'm making improvements each month, so keep holding out on this.

I don't know what my sexual "normal" is either, I don't know how frequently I would "want" sex if I didn't get into this PMO crap, but I do know that we "should" generally be able to get and maintain an erection when we "want" one. And right now, I can do this about 80% of the time. I don't think it's "normal" for anyone to start getting an erection and then lose it for the rest of the night (me), but it's normal to just not really fancy sex now and then.

If you're still having your erection/libido vanish during or shortly after instigating sex, then I'd guess that your still healing from PIED and not to worry too much about testosterone yet, considering your still quite fresh into a reboot (I know it's a long time, but we have severe PIED due to age introduced to P and frequency so it will take longer).

Ages 30-39 / Re: Reboot Journal - 31yo married w/son
« on: February 03, 2017, 07:56:00 AM »
Sounds good. Glad you had a good time "upstairs" ;), if that's what you meant of course.

I fell so heavily into my PA was bc I was able to feel like I had great performance during PMOs and the opposite with the real thing.

Yea, I think you're on to something here. It's really difficult to gauge isn't it? Like, we were so busy getting off to PMO, and it was so easy to do because we had no people to think about that we didn't notice our sexual confidence being slowly stolen from us... Then when we get into a real situation our brains are all like "yea, there's a few more things on my mind now other than visual stimulus". It's so damn crazy because I used to tell myself that fake porn sex could surely not compete with the real thing, EVER! So I expected that I'd have no problems, but here I am now.

Although, there is definitely other things at play other than P induced PA as I've been with my partner a year now and 80% of the time we have really nice sex, but there's still a 20% where my d##k just WILL not respond/disappear during sex/before sex and my brain is just like... "I wanted sex... But now I don't, sorry about that... Now deal with the emotions and try explain your way out of it".

I think this is normal for your recovery. Keep rebooting and look forward to your strong as f**k boners in the future. Your doing great.

Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Re: Ed drugs
« on: February 02, 2017, 02:38:51 PM »
Mine are gathering dust on a shelf. Consult your doc and try them, but you might find don't work how you'd like them to. Your woman wants sex with you, not a false hard penis... She wants real arousal and intimacy and ED pills can't give you that. For some though, they have helped calm nerves prior to sex but I'd recommend not risking replacing one addiction with another.

Umm tough one. Maybe you're not quite ready? I know that when I was definitely ready I didn't even think about PA as I was so desperate to have sex. Early on in "testing" my recovery I thought I had severe PA but in reflection, I was just in and out of flatlines. You'll know when you're ready, but even then the only way to know is to try, which may account for the anxiety you have, but when nature's ready to do it's thing, anxiety should be overruled in the right situation.

Thank Jayjay, you're doing great too!

Must admit I don't do this... Maybe it's delayed my recovery a bit? Not sure, I don't play video games anymore which was definitely a dopamine hit. This would be quite hard to do completely for me... I've made massive improvements just quitting PMO so that's definitely the big one if you can't manage the rest.

Jeeez I'm a year in and still paranoid about them. Must've had about 8 now since starting. Frequent sex can do this, but it does get better after each flatline... I.e. Sex feels better and more like it should.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Reboot Journal - 31yo married w/son
« on: January 29, 2017, 04:16:41 AM »
Real intimacy makes the fake stuff fade in comparison.


Sounds normal to me. Great that you are getting erections without P and touch. Keep going.

Definitely got mood swings myself. Not sure if PIED related, but I'm beginning to think it is more and more. The further along my recovery I get, the less mood swings and anxiety I have.

No I'm not 100% sure. But in my experience PA and PIED symptoms are so similar. It just takes one to go too far one way and then you have your ED. In my experience, what I do know is that quitting porn will make you more responsive to natural stimuli, which will overrule the anxiety over time. You have nothing to lose quitting porn, only gains. But you need to believe it and be committed and make no excuses... Oherwise you're wasting your time.

Yes probably porn. Quit the porn.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Anger - Any ideas?
« on: January 23, 2017, 01:39:41 PM »
I get angry too. Like I'm a different person. Not physically, but I'll go off on one and argue with my closest only to feel so, so bad about it the next day. Not sure whether it's just me, whether it's normal, part of rebooting, hormones or just me being a total arse. I'm spending more time apologising at the minute then I am concentrating on loving.

Cheers Enzo! Will need to change my counter soon to 2 years I suppose and crack on for another year etc etc. Sounds like you're doing well passed the initial 90 mark too, well done.

I think it's normal. Erections are strange things. I can get random boners through the day, but not at the sight of a woman. But if I'm with my GF, I don't always have a raging boner the instant I see her... But can have sex anyway... (Sometimes works the opposite way round too during rebooting - I.e. stonking boner prior to sex, but then lose during sex, so don't get too hung up on whether or not you should have a boner or not, the real test is can u have sex or not?). There's a lot more than simply a horny thought/brief tough that goes into an erection when you're with a woman I've noticed... Before rebooting I hadn't had a spontaneous erection for probably over a decade so what you're describing sounds good mate.

Awesome! Ummm... It's probably OK, but my if you wanna be 100% sure, don't do it. No one knows is the answer, but my personal choice would be to save my release for my partner.

Pearland, how are you feeling otherwise? As I'm sure you know T levels fluctuate through the day, beginning highest in the morning. I have 548, sometimes higher, sometimes lower depending on when tested.

I ask because the numbers are possibly less important than the symptoms of low T, such as (obvs) low sex drive, tiredness, muscle atrophy, hair loss.

Have you any of these other symptoms? You say you are in fit shape, so you are able to build muscle?

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