Most Brutal PIED... ever!!

Hello Everyone!

I am sorry from everyone, English is not my first language, but I will do my best to write down my situation correctly.
And I am sorry, because it is gonna be a long post...

I am serious guys, my symptomps are so serious, I would be surprised if there is ANYONE here, who has or had more serious PIED symptoms. But who knows...
First of all I have to say I am 32, non smoker, perfectly healthy, according to every doctor; including several urologist in many hospital and 2 erectal dysfunction clynics.
The doctors even tested me to Hemochromatosis, because in my blood the testosterone is more than enough, but the iron level is slightly elevated. And Hemochromatosis has a rare side effect, which is ED. It turned out. I dont have Hemochromatosis, I just eat a lot of meat, so I have a lot of iron in my blood. The doctors tested me for everything, because the urologists in the UK cannot believe too much masturbation can cause erectal dysfunction.
But the fact is, my masturbation habits are out of the ordinary, not because of how many times I did, but for how long. It can take up to for hours. My brain is wired to kinky, filthy femdom related, BDSM porn.
And my porn addiction is interactive as well. It means I need a dominant female to chat with... One of the BDSM kink I am related to, is called tease and denial. It means a domiant female teases the submissive guy with her body, but doesnt let him cum or just after hours. Causing him blueballs... So I dont really need porn but another person... But it effects me the same way.
I am originally from Eastern-Europe, I started to masturbate, such a young age (around 8-9)... Just like Gabe. Back then it wasnt normal masturbation with hands, but more like humping my bed.
Then in my teenage years I turned to femdom porn, tremendous amount of jacking off and bed humping as well... University the same...
I has 2 years unemployment after university (long story, Eastern-European speciality)... Then I did same what Gabe did... he played video games by the day jacking off till dawn... pretty much the same... :(( for years...
I had some girls in my life, obviously I had some ED problems... I had no idea why. The blue pills helped me for a while...

So my symptomps: right now when I see something sexy, it doesnt matter in real, on the screen as a picture, or interactive chat form; my penis reacts the same way. My penis reacts as a vagina. It is getting wet, it stays limp and produces precum (a lot) immediately... It is pathetic!!!
No morning erections!! Nothing!!
At the moment the only way to make it semi-hard is with hand stimulation. The maximum semi-hard, even with blue pills, even before ejaculation at sex... I am even able to cum when my penis is ceompletely limp...
I just realized what have I done.

I have tried the "NO FAP" program 4-5 times always failed around 20-25 days. I am registered to make my 1 year goal. Beacuse my estimation, if Gabe needed 9 months, for me at least 1 year no PMO. At least. But I dont wanna cum ever again without a Lady, even if I have to pay for it...
I watched Gabe videos I tried to learn from him, because He is a hero.
His advice was to take my computer out of my room, not possible for me, since I am living in a shared house, and I am only renting a room, everyone keeps his compuer in his room. Plus I mostly used my smart phone for femdom chat and masturbation...
My other problem is I am self-employed cab driver, so basically with urge comes, I just came home and I did what did... No pressure because of work time....

Now I am commited, because I wanna step out of this pathetic limp dick stage...
So I setted up porn filter (a good one) to my phone and computer. Because clearly my power of will wasnt enough... With a password I dont remeber!!
I registered here to get more strength from You, guys...!!
I am thinking about a gym memebership as well (it helped Gabe)... As an outside activity.
When I feel the urge of fapping, I will call a friend to socialize (it helped to other people)...
I ordered a wall calendar to cross out the days (because I think visual verification will help me)... To see what I have reached so far (20-25 days)... not to lose it for an orgasm...



If anyone have a good idea what else I could do to reach my goal please share with me!!!
Because as I have read it in an other post, porn is a DEMON, and I dont wanna live like this any more. Please help me beat my demon!!

Thank You
 

foo

Member
Thanks for posting.

Sounds like a self-inflicted mess -- which is the case for all of us suffering from PIED. My PIED is not quite so severe as yours but it has been over a year -- and still not back to 100%.

It sounds like you know precisely what to do. You just need to execute the plan and if you fall, just get back up again and keep going. Time will heal. You are not alone brother.

... and I agree with you that porn is a demon. A particularly nasty one.
 
Thank You for Your supporting words.
Yes I precisely know what to do and I only can hope it will heal me... The doctors excluded all other explanations...
I dont have any tatoo and I never planned to make one, but if I succeed on this, I will make one:"what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger", which is one the biggest ultimate truth of life.
Wish me luck!
 
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