Watching porn before sex

I could probably write 2k words about my problems. But I'll keep it short and tackle the things I'm curious about. I am 21 years old and I've Been watching porn since 14, sometimes daily. Been trying to quit for the last few years with minor success. At the moment I am 10 days without PMO. I think this is my chance to beat this thing. Probably been in bed with 7 women and I couldn't get fully hard with any of them. The one time I've had sex was in the morning with morningwood and I could have ejaculated. That was in 2014.

Main reason I'm here is because the girl I'm fooling around with now is very attractive and horny. If we start kissing and holding I can get 80 percent hard almost immediately. It lasts for about a minute or two. Then gone for at least 30 minutes.

Twice now I've left the bed while we are fooling around with each other and tried to load up my favourite porn in an attempt to get fully erect. Neither time did I get hard or even excited. This got me thinking maybe it's my anxiety thats causing it after all.

Lmk what everyone thinks. Or if you have questions about my past

I think you're kidding yourself if you think there is no PIED component in your problem. You have the classic profile of somebody who would suffer PIED: Practically your entire sexual life has been dominated by porn since early adolescence. It follows that you would likely have issues with real physical relations with real people. Sure, there is probably an anxiety component in there too - that's why you thought it was a good idea to watch porn to get yourself excited enough with a partner, but you wouldn't have that anxiety or that idea if you weren't aware on some level that you have some PIED. As long as you have PIED, you will have the anxiety. The anxiety isn't something to be treated separately because it is the result of your PIED problem, not the cause of your ED with real women. The sooner you face reality, the better off you'll be. Don't use porn to rev yourself up for a real person - it's an insult to your partner. And it won't work because if you were capable of successful sex, you would have to resort to porn to get started. You should abstain from real partner experiences until you've done some proper recovery work. No woman deserves to be your guinea pig in your battle with porn, and she shouldn't have to deal with your inability to function. Make sure you are fully off porn before involving another person in your problem.

Yeah obviously I knew it wasn't healthy, it was more of a last resort at the moment. It's difficult for me to abstain from porn/masturbation while abstaining from any other sexual relationships. I've found that the only thing that truly gets me away from porn/masturbation is when there is a girl in my life.

Probably couldn't have been given a better chance to quit this thing as I mentioned. For about a year I'd browse the forum but I would never post. Ignoring early symptoms and thought I'll be fine. Ignoring things like ejaculation at 80pct erect when using porn. I'm already 11 days in this reboot which is close to my record of 2 weeks. My partner is leaving the country for at least a month which is a great start. Setting my goal of 60 days. What do you think?

kysSnaake said:

Setting my goal of 60 days. What do you think?

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It's a good start, definitely. But make sure you don't entertain thoughts like eventually you will be able to return to PMO is a more moderate fashion. It doesn't work that way with addicts - you become forever sensitised to the effects of porn and it will steal your functioning very quickly if you resume it. But certainly set a goal for now. Once you reach that goal, you can set another one and you'll have seen some benefits by then.

Definitely not on the PMO train, a common occurrence I found with me is that, during my failed attempts I would get to something like 7 days without PMO and be horny. Instead of porn I'd masturbate to fantasies in my head or a clothed picture of a girl I like. Once I'd ejaculate, about an hour later I'd be ready to go again except this time it's a lot more difficult to get fully erect, that's when I get put back on the porn cycle. So I realize I have to eliminate both. I think I chose 60 days bc by then I can see if this girl will be understanding if I told her about what's going on. I think if she's still around or still interested in me when she gets back from her vacation she might be a keeper.