Saturn_V
New Member
Hi guys, I'd like to share my experience and hopefully get some insight. Don't know if it's the right section, if not please move it to the right one.
I'm 38 years old, and I'm struggling with what I think could be PIED. Allow me to build some background first.
I have luckily always been in long term relationships and never really had any ED problems, maybe some performance anxiety the first time I was starting to get intimate but nothing more. I have always viewed porn and masturbated on it since I was around 18/20 years old (not every time, I'd say one out of three I would do on my own), and never had any problems in performing with my partners. The frequency has always been around 1-3 times a week, with sometimes even 10 days apart or more between PMO. As I have said, I have most of my lifetime been with a girlfriend so having sex wasn't an issue. Most of the time happened when we were apart or could not see each other for days because of work/study/whatever.
I have been alone for the last 18 months more or less, and due to problems with work and family could not find some girl to interact with. I had a few one night stands with my latest ex around the last months of 2018, so I'd say I've been running on my own since December 2018. I have somewhat mantained my "rhythm" of about 1 to 3 PMO a week, and sometimes I spent a whole week without even thinking of it. I confess that althoug I consider myself straight (I have always liked girls, and never thought of men in a sexual way) during the latest months my porn tastes have sometimes crossed over the line (shemale, sometimes gay stuff, I even thought of trying a gay experience just to flush my doubts away) and I feel somehow brainwashed or at least confused.
Come present day:
I stopped completely watching porn and masturbating since 9th of august, sincerely I don't know where I got the idea (did not know about all the research on the matter), I just thought "what the hell I'm doing? I've never had problems with meeting girls and so on, why should I spend time in my house with this stuff instead of going out and meeting them?".
So I have recently met a girl I like, around a week later, and it's been around 20 days since we've been seeing each other. Really nice, beautiful girl and so on. We tried having sex a couple times but my penis would not cooperate. Some half mast boners while petting each other but after a while he just went unresponsive. I spoke to her about my previous issues with performance anxiety and she has been quite sensitive and comprehensive, stating that it was not a problem. Could not spill the beans about porn because I don't feel she would like it. I'm not shy about it, I have talked about it with a couple of close friends, simply put I think it could "distort" her image of me or something like that so early in our relationship.
I tried Cialis, with no success (not even side effects, pretty weird).
Libido on and off, but I really like this girl and I'd like to make love with her and push our relationship forward.
The last few days I started again having morning wood nearly every morning, and some random boners during the day (sometimes I give a stroke on my crotch just to see if it wakes up).
I'm a little confused, or at least I'd like to isolate the problem to understand it better. I have even thought that I maybe don't like this girl as much as I think, but she's pretty hot and it would baffle me if it was so. I mean a "normal" myself (if at this point I'm no longer normal) would jump on her at first sight after seeing her half naked.
Hope this helps me by sharing, and with some feedback and support by you guys.
Stay strong.
I'm 38 years old, and I'm struggling with what I think could be PIED. Allow me to build some background first.
I have luckily always been in long term relationships and never really had any ED problems, maybe some performance anxiety the first time I was starting to get intimate but nothing more. I have always viewed porn and masturbated on it since I was around 18/20 years old (not every time, I'd say one out of three I would do on my own), and never had any problems in performing with my partners. The frequency has always been around 1-3 times a week, with sometimes even 10 days apart or more between PMO. As I have said, I have most of my lifetime been with a girlfriend so having sex wasn't an issue. Most of the time happened when we were apart or could not see each other for days because of work/study/whatever.
I have been alone for the last 18 months more or less, and due to problems with work and family could not find some girl to interact with. I had a few one night stands with my latest ex around the last months of 2018, so I'd say I've been running on my own since December 2018. I have somewhat mantained my "rhythm" of about 1 to 3 PMO a week, and sometimes I spent a whole week without even thinking of it. I confess that althoug I consider myself straight (I have always liked girls, and never thought of men in a sexual way) during the latest months my porn tastes have sometimes crossed over the line (shemale, sometimes gay stuff, I even thought of trying a gay experience just to flush my doubts away) and I feel somehow brainwashed or at least confused.
Come present day:
I stopped completely watching porn and masturbating since 9th of august, sincerely I don't know where I got the idea (did not know about all the research on the matter), I just thought "what the hell I'm doing? I've never had problems with meeting girls and so on, why should I spend time in my house with this stuff instead of going out and meeting them?".
So I have recently met a girl I like, around a week later, and it's been around 20 days since we've been seeing each other. Really nice, beautiful girl and so on. We tried having sex a couple times but my penis would not cooperate. Some half mast boners while petting each other but after a while he just went unresponsive. I spoke to her about my previous issues with performance anxiety and she has been quite sensitive and comprehensive, stating that it was not a problem. Could not spill the beans about porn because I don't feel she would like it. I'm not shy about it, I have talked about it with a couple of close friends, simply put I think it could "distort" her image of me or something like that so early in our relationship.
I tried Cialis, with no success (not even side effects, pretty weird).
Libido on and off, but I really like this girl and I'd like to make love with her and push our relationship forward.
The last few days I started again having morning wood nearly every morning, and some random boners during the day (sometimes I give a stroke on my crotch just to see if it wakes up).
I'm a little confused, or at least I'd like to isolate the problem to understand it better. I have even thought that I maybe don't like this girl as much as I think, but she's pretty hot and it would baffle me if it was so. I mean a "normal" myself (if at this point I'm no longer normal) would jump on her at first sight after seeing her half naked.
Hope this helps me by sharing, and with some feedback and support by you guys.
Stay strong.