Hi 5Dawgs.
I'm in my early 50s. I discovered porn and masturbation when I was about 14 years old. My access to porn was restricted to magazines. Until my first reboot just over 3 years ago I was probably masturbating to porn every day, sometimes 3 or 4 times a day and often with late night marathon edging sessions.
I started experiencing loss of libido about 4 or 5 years ago which finally developed into full blown ED. I didn't really experience any loss in erectile function prior to the full onset of ED. However, about 8 years ago I had a casual sex partner. Sex session with her would take me forever to come. I was completely exhausted after sex because I had to go at it so long, with such focus and with such intensity that there was very little pleasure in it for me. I started dreading when she would want sex. I never told her about my porn use but she did once tell me after sex once time that I should quit watching porn. I suspect she had had similar experiences with other men who suffered with anorgasmia.
When I discovered Gary Wilson's video and website everything clicked into place. I knew immediately what my problem was. I read that older guys like us tended to remover more quickly than younger guys who had had little or no real life sexual experience. I'd had quite a few sexual partners before high speed internet became the norm. Armed with this information I set about rebooting confident that I could heal myself quickly. As it turned out I managed to heal in about 36 days. Sex was amazing again and I could go again after a short break. Penis sensitivity was off the scale. This first reboot was 100% hardmode. I wouldn't even let myself fantasise in bed before going to sleep.
I had a couple of months where everything was working fine when I made the stupid decision to check out some nude women on-line. It started off with glamour photos not depicting sex. Just solo women. I somehow stumbled across porn comics and started reading them. These didn't even have photos of women in them. This continued until I was back to my old porn habits of some short PMO session during the day and then marathon edging sessions at night. It became painful to ejaculate because I had almost nothing in my balls. I still continued.
My second reboot was hit and miss affair. I was relapsing after only a few days but after about a month I managed to but a run of 112 days together and had successful sex on day 113, day 127 and day 128 even though I PMOd 3 times between day 113 and day 128. I PMOd 7 times over the next 2 months and over the same period I found that my PIED had returned, not surprisingly.
I started another run. Determined more than ever to kick this self destructive habit. I put a run of 88 days of no porn and no masturbation together. On day 89 I had sex, although I can remember it wasn't very satisfying. On day 90 I masturbated to porn! Then again on days 94, 99 and 101. This was at the end of December 2016.
Totally pissed off with myself I set about kicking this habit again in 2017. I reset my counter and went 4 days then masturbated to porn. I started again the next day and went 8 days before masturbating to porn. I started again the next day and went 2 days before I masturbated to porn for two consecutive days. I started again the next day and went 6 days before masturbating to porn. I started again the next day and went 3 days before masturbating to porn. I started again the next day and went 9 days before masturbating to porn for two consecutive days. After this I went into a rage! Fuelled by my own anger towards myself I put together a run of 146 days of no porn and no masturbation. I flatlined for the entire 146 days, panicked and masturbated to porn on day 147 just to check I could get an erection! I started again the next day and went 10 days before masturbating to porn. I started again the next day and went 62 days before masturbating to porn. I started again the next day and went 14 days before masturbating to porn. After this I completely lost my way and PMOd 16 times over the next 3 months. Here's the most depressing point about 2017. I never managed to have sex with my girlfriend once!
Now, you can do the maths but I'll save you the trouble. In 2017 I masturbated to porn on 27 days, which means I didn't look at porn or masturbate for 338 days during that year. Some guys say that the periods of abstinence are cumulative and that if you have a short PMO session you haven't undone all the good work on your brain. I think that in my case those 27 days basically wiped out all the good connections I had made in my brain. So, my advice is don't even think about breaking your run!. In my experience it throws you right back to day one! 27 days out of 365 doesn't seem like a bad record, does it? Don't be fooled by the numbers. Those 27 days destroyed everything I had worked towards. Add to this that I developed HOCD and started looking at transexual porn and you'll see how badly my brain has been fried!
I started again on the 2nd of January 2018. Today is day 67. I haven't looked at porn or masturbated for 67 days and my penis is dead! I'm in a deep flatline. This time I'm not going to panic and check if I can still get hard by checking out some porn. I already know I'll be able to get hard to porn. I've been getting floods of emotions over the last 48 hours, which is something I haven't experienced for a while.
If you are 12 days into your reboot and have had sex twice, all I can say is that you are one lucky guy! How long before you should get frustrated? If you're talking about being frustrated about porn use then I would say on day 1. In reality, please be patient. Don't make the same mistakes I've made. Don't panic and check yourself out to porn. Don't look for a quick 5 minute dopamine hit and masturbate. If you want to heal completely then your porn days are over my friend! Never look at it again! You do not want to be on the same rollercoaster ride I've had for the last 3 years.
Stay strong. if there is anything I can tell you to keep you motivated I will. If you report that your PIED is completely healed then you'll be giving me renewed hope and power to continue. I really hope you break this destructive cycle for life and cure your PIED! Good luck!
