Confidence: Does it matter?

57yrold

Active Member
I haven't looked at porn since September 15th.

I've had three nights fooling around with my wife where I did MO (with her), but I've decided I should have started with hardmode, so No P, No M, and No O for at least 90 days, or longer, if my ED/DE is still a problem.  I'm sure I can do this.

My question to everyone here is in regards to confidence.

I'm absolutely confident that I won't watch porn again.  I've had no desire, and I can't imagine a relapse.  Not going to happen.

No, it's confidence in the reboot that's seriously lacking.

Right now, with my shitty mood, low libido, and shriveled up, dead penis, I'm 99.9% positive this isn't going to work.  I'm not going to get my erections back.  I would bet money on this....

Does that matter?  I feel like I should be all gung ho about how great a reboot is, and how wonderful things are going to be after I come out the other side, but I just don't.

Right now all I feel is pessimism and frustration.

Does it matter if I feel like this isn't going to work?

Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions.

 

r_ryan85

Member
Belief is not necessary for success, but it can be helpful. There are many simple minded people that achieved great things because there were not so analytical to even think about belief in themselves or not - they just went for it.

On the other hand, there are a few studies that show how powerful belief can be (i.e. the effect of placebo).

I think what you're going through is totally normal. In fact, I feel exactly the same way - even to the point where I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I thought I'd never recover.

But our minds are actually designed to be pessimistic and negative. Imagine if our ancestors were not pessimistic. They wouldn't prepare for lack of food in winter and things like that. They would most likely have died. Our brains are designed to think this way so that we can have the motivation to figure out options and solutions. I agree it's a shit feeling, and quality of life will definitely suffer like this. But in the past, the brain cared about survival far more than quality of life.

I have also recovered from a few life threatening auto-immune diseases about 6 years back. I relapsed quite a few times, to the point where they had to try some special drugs. I also thought exactly the same thing back then. It's never going to work. I'm going to relapse again. But now, 6 years later, I can run for 2 hours, and I'm lifting heavier weights than I ever have before. So no, belief is not necessary. It's just a helpful bonus.
 

Red Bear

Active Member
Confidence is a measure of your spirit.
I just sweared never return to PMO, whatever it will cost.
Even if libido never restores.
Just never turn on that shit.
This is a matter of your man's proud.
 
N

Numez

Guest
everyone feels like they will never have normal libido or sex again and that part is normal. its not necessary for recovery but its good for your own feelings to have a positive belief that is based on everyone who abstained from porn for long enough periods of time.
 
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