Hi All, i am just wondering if any of the wives/partners on here have requested checks for STDs since discovering their partners addiction? My husband, who is almost 3 weeks into recovery has taken the news that i have spoken to the family doctor to request tests very badly and i am concerned that i may have pushed him into feeling like i distrust him.
I feel like i am on a roller coaster of mixed feelings and I need to know if my health is in danger because of his 'acting out' behaviours. He is an addict, which means, unfortunately, that he had lied to me, its the nature of the beast. He has had to lie in order to manage his addiction. I have no way of knowing if he has told me the full truth about his sexual history and where the addiction has taken him in his worst moments.
Part of me thinks he may have only told me half of the truth, something sufficient to satisfy me during the moment of confrontation. Part of me believes he has in fact told me the full truth but i worry that this is wishful thinking on my behalf and i am terrified that i haven?t even imagined the places he may have been throughout his addiction but he may be fearful or ashamed to fully disclose all of his secrets to me. I have told him that i will stand by him throughout his recovery, and i will do that, i believe that he is strong enough to beat this, but i also need to safeguard myself along the way.
I told him this evening before he left to go to a SAA meeting that I believe IN him but it is still difficult to believe his words. He was hurt that i had disclosed to the doctor ... but i only said i wanted testing, i did not disclose his story, but his deep shame has surfaced and now i feel like a shitty wife for thinking about myself and that i have betrayed him - how ironic is that
I feel like i am on a roller coaster of mixed feelings and I need to know if my health is in danger because of his 'acting out' behaviours. He is an addict, which means, unfortunately, that he had lied to me, its the nature of the beast. He has had to lie in order to manage his addiction. I have no way of knowing if he has told me the full truth about his sexual history and where the addiction has taken him in his worst moments.
Part of me thinks he may have only told me half of the truth, something sufficient to satisfy me during the moment of confrontation. Part of me believes he has in fact told me the full truth but i worry that this is wishful thinking on my behalf and i am terrified that i haven?t even imagined the places he may have been throughout his addiction but he may be fearful or ashamed to fully disclose all of his secrets to me. I have told him that i will stand by him throughout his recovery, and i will do that, i believe that he is strong enough to beat this, but i also need to safeguard myself along the way.
I told him this evening before he left to go to a SAA meeting that I believe IN him but it is still difficult to believe his words. He was hurt that i had disclosed to the doctor ... but i only said i wanted testing, i did not disclose his story, but his deep shame has surfaced and now i feel like a shitty wife for thinking about myself and that i have betrayed him - how ironic is that