advice about relationships/sex

Well its about a month since i joined this site.so far no return to old habits.

However my big reason for joining the site and changing my life was due to meeting an amazing woman.

Things are good and we have been meeting each others families/friends and started talking about holidays.

However, my big fear is of course in the bedroom. While i have been open with the problem im having, and she has been amazing, i still find myself feeling really scared at the prospect of being in close with her.knowing im trying to reboot in itself kinda scares me to an extent where all i can think about is that i have developed this problem.

Essentially i cant relax, which i imagine cannot help. A small part of me wonders if i should end things andnot date until im back to normal..but things are wonderful otherwise and that is not what i want.

has anyone else been in this scenario and can you give any advice or thoughts? Thanks

Hey there,

I am currently involved with a guy who is rebooting and we've only been dating now for four months. If this girl is as good as you're making her out to be, she'll be understanding and can probably help you out -- IF -- you're always honest with her <-- that's REALLY important. People are a lot more willing to help than you might expect initially.. and I know this is a difficult subject. However, the moment you start hiding or withholding information regarding your feelings, something that's happened, or even your fears... is the moment that the trust starts to break. So maybe even TALK with her about it ask her how she feels about being in a relationship that is less focused on the bedroom and more focused elsewhere FOR THE TIME BEING while you trek along your journey. It never ever EVER hurts to ask a partner their opinion or for their honest thoughts on the situation. In fact, I bet that'd probably reduce a lot of your worrying because it'd take the mystery out of it.

BUT the awesome thing is that you've already confided in her and she hasn't run to the hills... so that's a great sign.

There's so much MORE to a relationship than JUST what's in the bedroom... so focus on that for the time being WHILE still finding ways to improve yourself. Try to focus on the here and now... the positive... the fact that you met this woman and she's willing to stand by your side WHILE you seek to better yourself. No one is perfect.. everyone carries something into a relationship whether you are cognizant to it or not. But the bottom line is: you've been honest, she's still there, you're working on fixing your problem, period. My personal opinion is that if you really like this girl and you feel as if she's someone who can understand and rationalize this journey... then keep at it. Like I said, there are SO many other aspects in a relationship that you can focus on at the moment OTHER than the bedroom... and if she's a good person, she'll be more than happy to "cool it" in the bedroom area of the relationship for a while BECAUSE she knows you're putting in an enormous effort to fix something within yourself. But like I said, be 110% honest about everything.. otherwise that's a slap in the face to her efforts. Try not to stress too much... I know thats easier said than done but stress will only work against you.

I hope this is a LITTLE bit of consolation...  or help. Good luck in your journey.

The only way is to go through the fire, so to speak. As much intimacy as possible. Sleeping together, cuddling in bed, etc. to get you used to being close to her. You should definately NOT put dating on hold; IMO it's one of the things that will speed up your reboot.

Sex doesn't have to include PIV. You can pleasure her in other ways while you are rebooting. In time as you progress in your reboot, erections will happen naturally.

Meditate daily to become more present to the moment.

Kegel exercises(been doing them for a couple of days now and I'm already seeing the benefits(post PIED reboot)).

Thank you for the advice. And 100% right regarding the honesty. She deserves that and will get that always.

Pleased to say was able to enjoy a wonderful evening with my partner. Enjoyed sex, and no issues regarding ed. No nerves either..seems a bit of a break through and positive step.

Is it possible sometimes you can still have sex intermittently for a while, rather than at all times. Theres a part of me that wonders if ed can be something that happens from times to time ?