time for a difference to be made

Hello all.firstly it's great to find a site like this. Hope being here can make a difference and resolve an issue.

I have used porn for a few years now,sometimes many times a week sometimes just a few times a month..point it it's very much been a big presence in my life prob since late 2011 ish.

Early 2015 I had a very awkward experience in the bedroom with a girl. At the time I researched porn ed but wasn't sure. There were some other factors involved with this girl which may have caused non arousal. I was paranoid of doing to much too soon as this girl was a long term friend and had been with a violent person before me for a long time.

On recent one night stand experience, and lasts night when new girlfriend came to mine for first time I now believe porn to have causing me problems...so it is time for a change.

Last night did get awkward but we talked and we will take things slow. Got someone good here...but it's down to me to make a difference.

So we all make new years resolutions...and then break them...so I'm gonna quit porn and make resolution happen starting now.

If anyone can give any tips and support I'd be very grateful. Got Christmas and New year coming so I'm gonna be busy...which is useful as a starting point. I note from reading that 90 days is for many a target...though I note not a guarantee...but that is a good target initially I guess.

Anyway hope what I said made some sense and would be great to talk about it...as can only help.

I consider myself to have had a great 2015 on the whole but this is something I don't want hanging over me further. Had promotion this year,great hols and just a lot of fun.but want 2016 to be better.

What helped my husband who is now 3 years into recovery is having a mindset that porn is no longer an option.  Sex was going to be with a human and that was that.  No excuses and he stuck with it.  I think having an idea that 90 days is what you will do makes you "white knuckle it" to the end without making real changes. What happens after 90 days?  you go back to porn?  of course not so why not make it a lifelong goal to begin with.  Just my opinion.  Creating a new lifestyle where porn is not an option works much better.  Stay away from all and any sexual stimuli for the first few months as well.

Best of luck, you can do this!! 

Yes the 90 day thing i kept reading about did make we wonder if there was a significance to it. need to read more. Your right though, its quitting for good.

Got some new plans/hobbies coming up for after new year, so that should help.

So far so good in avoiding the porn, however noting bit of temptation the last couple of nights. After a few days of relaxing and quieter nights after christmas i guess mind wandered to it.. so far resisted, and need to keep up good work

Happy new year all

Things have gotten a bit tougher.

About a couple of weeks with no looking at porn, but cracked a little just after new year, and started to feel a growing pressure to look. Like my brain kept telling me. Gotta to obviously learn to ride that feeling out.

In terms of my relationships, i felt a little uncomfortable and just told my partner about porn ed, and she has been lovely and very understanding. Our first night together i felt very comfortable, and did get an erection, but not to its full potential. Went away when getting the condom, and resorted to pleasuring her other ways..wont say more about that

As much as im sure its a great thing to have an understanding partner, I do worry somewhat that rebooting with a new partner could be tough. While I havent been to overly worried, i do wonder if the longer i go trying to recover may in the long run cause problems.

Anyone shed any advice on this? Happy New Year all