ixan24
New Member
Hello there guys. just found this amazing website giving me a lot hope and will to continue where layed a big load o shi* on. Ill not waste anymore time and start by first stating that I have excess masturbating induced ED. Im now realizing that after not being able to perform well while have intercourse with 2 women on different occasions.
I started jacking off young, in 4th grade. I used to do it on an average about 2-3 times day till now if look back. When i hit puberty at grade 6 which was quite early me being the first one among my friends, I remember I could actually move my erected penis and shake it and keep it erected straight. In time I don't know where now I cant even do that and my girth at the base is damn weak and thin compared to the girth towards my shaft. To add on my bad habits earlier of pushing my erection downwards to the bed has resulted in curved down penis for me. I still get hard ons but only on watching porn and at times after holding for max 2-3 days I ejaculate well too. But the things I've been through mentally are to be blamed also. I got into my 1st serious relationship at the age of 17 and first few weeks i didn't even want to masturbate until my friend forced me to. But I still had the drive of having sex with her day and night. But she was far and under bad circumstances she broke up. Starting from there began my streak of jacking off even more. Till this date I never feel like being in a relationship adding on to the variety of attitude filled girls who ruined my self esteem. But i did get into fitness and built a decent physiques to give me erections at times looking at myself. But then..to whoever who had the patience of reaching this far, frustrated at one point I went to a brothel with my friends. Before going there I already had masturbated twice and was barely to get 50% erection and wasn't feeling anything when the prostitute was rubbing me off to get me hard. The funny thing is when I not being able to finish she went for a shower, I masturbbated and regained sensitivity but with my own hand and came pretty well. This happened twice but the last time I couldn't even finish.
It makes wonder though that will this be ever be dealt with if I'm pleased the right way or get be the perfect girl, the love of my life. Or maybe just at the last moment after years of working towards my betterment with a good physique high self confidence i lost it when i came to college and just gave all that upto to junk food drinking and smoking. And yes I started smoking at 7th grade too.
As a whole I feel terrible right now being a loner with no social life and also away from family currently. I don't even feel like doing a push up at a time where I could straight 50.
To put all together.
1) Smoking
2) Bad social life
3) Bad sexual experience
4) Bad time in being in a relationship.
5) At present terrible self confidence on my shit body I put through myself.
6) Excessive Masturbation starting before teenage.
7) Extreme level of porn
These things put me off. I don't know whether I can recover because I don't even feel like being in a relationship or having sex with the hottest girl out there. I've just lost hope on life. Don't even feel like pursuing my Medical School.
But at the end, if not me, but those who after reading everything I did and have been through I just have this to say.
[size=14pt]Dont smoke, dont drink, work on yourself, always maintain yourself well even if not for any event, love family and never feel suppressed by society and don't masturbate or watch porn. For those who have been single all this time. Make that first bonding sacred. Specially if you are a virgin. May your first sex be with a girl you love and no matter how much time that takes keep those horny desperate moments precious. Trust me, I've lost it and I feel there's nothing a woman can do to fix that. There is still lot of time for you guys specially if you're nowhere near 18. Hope and pray there is some for me.[/size]