Hi there. I want to begin for one last time.

Im 17. Im devastated now and feel nothing at all so sorry for writing so confusedly. I started PMO 4 years ago. All this time I wanted to stop it and so it became really depressing. I overcame it 2 years ago for about half a year, then this year on February for about 120 days, a month ago I was at 60 but now I'm losing control and struggle to endure every day and cant make it even to a week. I want to switch to a MO mode and then probably try to exit even this habit. I feel that releasing this tension apart from any xxx is beneficial for me. At least for this time until I'll totaly disconnect from porn.

Im extremely commited to my passion which is music. It's all that I have now and I feel that I can find myself only in it. I play in two bands now and attend to music school. I'm crazily keen on prog, post-rock, jazz and classical music (and much more  ). Im someone like "master" for really a lot of people around me but Im loosing my own feeling to it all and becoming more and more disorganised. Im still practising like crazy but its extremely blank. I float in apathy. I dont understand music when Im after PMO and it feels like obsession those times... I have to stop this chaos.

Days after every relapse are terrible. I dont want to be that mad anymore. And now Its getting much worse every time :'( . Porn is my rapid answer for stress and feeling of absurdity of life. My life wont ever be easy but porn makes it blank and ceases all the power that passion and love should be.

I want to go on full nofap till the end of January and then MO from time to time on February If I'll feel like that. I'll write at least after every acomplished week and in case of relapse I'll stay here until I'll win. I swear! Im excited and open for all your words and advices. Thank you for reading!

Today is the second day.
I felt super depressive and unstable. When I came back home I wasnt capable of doing anything. There was only the urge but I should have acomplished so much (sadly got used to that). Then when I survived a few hours I started to feel satisfaction. But then suddenly I found myself browsing for porn. I even fapped a little bit but fortunately swiched it off after a moment. I was at the edge of relapse. These days gonna be hardest

Day 11
Another day endured. Everything works out fine. I feel that it's getting a little harder by now, but I'll keep myself controlled

Today I was close to the edge again :| . I was browsing for a moment but without any fapping. Then I would fail it if I haven't downloaded a terrible computer virus. Then I broke into tears and I still feel so bad.

Day 26!
Everything is fine. I'm feeling better and better, but still little unstable.

I've just terribly edged. It was like relapsing. If endure a few next days things gonna be good again, but now this is owerwhelming

Ok. It's day 37. I feel kinda depressed, but my fight isn't that hard now.

Hi;  You are doing well.  It is a huge fight and I can't imagine being a 'horny teenager' with the internet now.  When I was a teen the best we had were playboy and once old enough go to the video store and rent a vhs tape and endure the stares of the female clerk.  Keep fighting, don't give in.  If this is your own computer try putting software like K9 on it and ask your friend to enter the password and not tell you, that way you can't disable it.

You will have to develop a coping mechanism when the urge strikes; play music, go for a run, meet friends, something to beat the monster that is calling you.  Best of luck, YOU CAN DO IT!

I find music can be a huge help in dealing with this.  Whether you play, or just find something you like and listen to it.  Anything to take your mind off the urge.  When I feel the urge, I pick up my guitar and play.  Sometimes I attempt to learn a song, sometimes I just noodle.

You seem to be doing well.  Keep it up.  We all believe in you.

Thank you for your replies!!

Today is day 53
Terrible day. Yesterday I felt beautifully and already felt big benefits. Today I watched a lot of shit for like 3 hours without fapping. I feel terrible and disconnected. I don't know how will it work for next days.
I'm looking forward to hearing from you

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Tomorrow I'll begin once more.

Hey mane
This addiction is really difficult to quit as we all know so you have to be difficult on yourself if you want to quit. I personally am on day 5 or so now and if I wasn't strict on myself I'd have gave in from day 3 probably. I literally stop surfing the Internet completely  since I started my reboot.I only check in on here a few times a week then my phone is put aside I even stop playing games cuz once I'm on my phone I'm bound to fuck up. You can barely even watch the TV nowadays because I've seen some things on there and it really got me wondering if it's the TV I'm really watching. During the day time all I do is just exercise and sleep then cycle a bit and hang out with friends. Avoid the Internet as much as possible if you want to conquer this addiction because without the Internet your chance of relapsing is very little.
It's gonna be hard cuz the Internet is life lol but give this method  a try.