Never Again Nov23

N

neveragainNov23

Member
Right now I have to make a serious decision. I am tired of going through the cycle of relapse after relapse and half-assed attempts after another. This time around I am making a stand and saying that I will not use porn ever again. I don't even want to make it a option in the first fucking place. I also have to have a strong foundation to make this happen. My first goal is thirty days. I will make this goal. Here are some things that need to happen before I even get started. Number one, I have to get off the internet it has been sucking me into it for years now. Number two, besides the computer I will use for making my music that'll be it. I am also going disable the internet on it. I do not need it anyways for my music.

30 day reboot
-journal daily
-check in to support group
- meditate
- exercise
- work on music
- stay off internet
 
N

neveragainNov23

Member
1
Today is Thanksgiving. I do not have to worry about working until tomorrow morning. Our family is going out to eat in the afternoon. I am going to be working on music as I go throughout the day when I have time. It's going to be a very busy day at work tomorrow.
 
N

neveragainNov23

Member
2
Day 2. I got work today at noon. Yesterday was a decent day had a little bit of fun smoking with my sister. I did run into a few triggers like cable tv and Snapchat. I am going to eliminate use of cable TV completely. I only use it because my dad watches it 24/7. He also got a new TV today one of those 4k ones. I got the old TV so I have a huge ass TV to use for my music production.
 
N

neveragainNov23

Member
3
Wow today was a pretty crazy day. Work was pretty much a roller coaster all day long. My sister also left today after my shift. I had a fun time hanging out with her. I feel pretty close to my sister. The last two days I have been horny as a motherfucker. It also doesn't help when there is so many hot chicks where I work. Since this job is dealing with people all day long I get a lot better at communicating which means I will be able to talk to the females better as well. This will be a major road block in my life, but also it's perfect timing because I am turning my life around.
 
N

neveragainNov23

Member
4
Sunday... I have work here in about 30 minutes. I'm going to be working until 5:30 like yesterday. I have school tomorrow. Yesterday I scored some bud and finally have my own instead of having to scavenge off my dad. I have this great feeling about me things are getting better for me. I have a job that is well paying, I am back on the road of recovery as well.
 
N

neveragainNov23

Member
5
Back at school today, Yesterday was a absolutely shitty day, I had "one of those days" at work. Everyone who has had a job knows what that feels like. Also didn't help to get in my dad's truck and found out that my mother had found my cannabis. Thankfully, she didn't take it so I can still use it. Anyways I am feeling great and I am going to destroy this week.
 
N

neveragainNov23

Member
6
Yesterday was a bit rough in terms of my headaches. I did go to the chiropractor which helped a lot. He was telling me that I was not drinking as much water as I need to. All I did after the chiropractor was just lay on the couch and watch Netflix. It wasn't a triggering show and I didn't have any problems in terms of being triggered. All this being said though, I am not going to be watching Netflix anymore.
 
N

neveragainNov23

Member
7
Doing good and feeling good today. I also joined my support group's LMS group. Which I am going to win this time. I just have to continue doing my meditation and working on my EP. Today I start trackI of my EP.
 
N

neveragainNov23

Member
8
Week is almost over. Have work tomorrow, but it's only a 5 hour or so shift. I have a good amount of school work to do today especially in Spanish, Going to make sure I do that. I haven't had too many urges, but I still have to watch out for them. Like yesterday when I started to get flashbacks. My libido didn't feel high yesterday for the most part.
 
K

Karenius69

New Member
U are in the same place as me, but we will make it. I have had a 90 days and a 40 days no-porn run but I failed them in the end. Now we will not fail until our PIED is destroyed...
 
N

neveragainNov23

Member
9
I made it to Friday. The meditation really is the keystone habit for me in this recovery process. I'm actually starting to feel like myself now. I feel like a genius or something. I am able to focus on things seamlessly which before I used to always get caught up with distractions. Pornography really fucks your prefrontal cortex up. It basically makes your whole life less efficient to deal to with. Anyway's I also have work today at 4. It's only till 9:30 which I am very happy about just a 5hr or so shift.
 
N

neveragainNov23

Member
10
Long day today. At work today I had to help do a Christmas event where kids get their picture taken. I was working with two women all day. They are both in college. One of the girls seemed into me even though she has a boyfriend anyways. This job helps me so much with my social skills because I am basically forced to talk to people. Anyways, I am going to take a bath and finish a track for my album before bed.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top