Porn, especially erotic hypnosis, has led me to escalate tastes.. It is so disturbing to me when I think about it I never shared it with anybody (I do talk about addiction/ED with close family). Even writing it down here feels weird. But I think it will help me close this chapter and motivate me in 2017 as these are fetishes I simply do not want in my life. Because of the hypno I got turned on by CEI (tasting your own seemen), prostate massaging, premature ejaculation trainers (to induce it) and almost tranny and sissy shit. This is in sheer contrast to who I am.. and I don't want to be turned on by this anymore. But while rebooting sometimes I get strong urges.. I'm not sure these fetishes will ever leave completely but I at least want to minimize them and keep them to maybe at one day expiriment with a partner with but never solo again.If anyone has had some similar fetish induced do to porn, please share. It we'll help to know I'm not the only 'normal' guy that got attracted by this shit.. Ps; and apologies if you got triggered just know it's not what you want you can resist it. Life without is worth the fight
Hi Marcus,You are NOT alone in worrying about where your porn habit has taken you.I've never discussed some of these issues with anyone, and I'm finding it tough to 'fess up, even here.But - anyone reading this knows the insidious progress of a porn addiction and its impact on the human brain. I've ended up questioning my sexuality and acting on that - I'm still not sure if I am somewhat bisexual or if I was just craving the dopamine hit of something new. I guess this process of rebooting may be the test of that.Some things I've seen as a result of my quest for stimulation really repulse me - I've never knowingly looked at anything illegal, but a fair bit of stuff that is definitely questionable by any other measure. I'd convinced myself that my ultimate fantasy was to be the third member of a MMF scenario with FYFF or fucklicking being the key trigger for me. Even after 45 or so days of no porn, I'm still wired to be aroused by that idea, so there's a long way for me to go yet.Like yourself, I have no idea if these are genuine "interests" - even if they are, I too am going to reserve my activity to reality of the opportunity presents, not go searching for 2D pixel-based versions of the same thing.Some of my activity in the real world is hard for me to reconcile with my self image, too. At some point I'll confess all here, but I'm not yet ready for that, sorry. Rest assured, you are not a freak, nor are you alone in your niche activities!Having spent 30+years in a world of virtual sex, with occasional tentative forays into reality, I'm looking forward to 2017 being the year of reality for me, not purely on a sexual level but in so many others too.Thanks to all who post positive, supportive messages here. You make the journey a shared one, not a sad, lonely one.
Hi all.. no need to 'fess up' at all. Your worry about that may push you towards PMO. It is a well studied phenomenon to escalate. Escalation can be in a) shock value b) variety/novelty value and c) size...called as supranormal stimuli.They are to be treated as just 'thoughts'. But 'thoughts' do have the potential to become 'urges'. And 'urges' to 'cravings'.The right time to cut the escalation is at the "thought" stage.The thought or cues can occur during the initial abstaining stage when the 'little monster' is hard at work. And also when you have been an ex-PMOer for a longer time and it comes to you out of no where. They will come as brains has a DeltaFosB for that memory. But you don't need to worry about the brain science- it will only put you back to misery mode and right back to PMO.The point is, you have no need to forget. Nothing bad is happening. Something marvelous is taking place. Even if you are thinking about it a thousand times a day, SAVOR EACH MOMENT. REMIND YOURSELF HOW MARVELOUS IT IS TO BE FREE AGAIN. REMIND YOURSELF OF THE SHEER JOY OF NOT HAVING TO TORTURE YOURSELF ANYMORE. As I have said, you will find that the pangs become moments of pleasure, and you will be surprised how quickly you will then forget about internet porn.PS: I've written a hackbook based on a popular method. It does not use the Willpower method. You don't need to quit until you finish the book. Please find the link in my profile.
Hey man, I am in the same boat as you. I've ejaculated on my face a couple of times, watched shemale porn exclusively for the something like 10 years and even did some crossdressing and anal play. I know this is not who I am because I've always been interested in girls as partners. It is just that this stuff has desentisized me and I got a PIED when I was with a girl - surely watching porn and getting hard from it instead of a real girl has contributed to this problem. Just like you, I hope these fetishes wear out. I've been PMO-free for 6 days now and today I got a dream about this shemale stuff. I just want to get my hard on from real ladies that I usually like.