SICK fetishes due to porn (hypnosis) -WARNING, MIGHT BE TRIGGERS-

Porn, especially erotic hypnosis, has led me to escalate tastes.. It is so disturbing to me when I think about it I never shared it with anybody (I do talk about addiction/ED with close family). Even writing it down here feels weird. But I think it will help me close this chapter and motivate me in 2017 as these are fetishes I simply do not want in my life.
Because of the hypno I got turned on by CEI (tasting your own seemen), prostate massaging, premature ejaculation trainers (to induce it) and almost tranny and sissy shit. This is in sheer contrast to who I am.. and I don't want to be turned on by this anymore. But while rebooting sometimes I get strong urges.. I'm not sure these fetishes will ever leave completely but I at least want to minimize them and keep them to maybe at one day expiriment with a partner with but never solo again.
If anyone has had some similar fetish induced do to porn, please share. It we'll help to know I'm not the only 'normal' guy that got attracted by this shit..

Ps; and apologies if you got triggered just know it's not what you want you can resist it. Life without is worth the fight

Hi Marcus,

You are NOT alone in worrying about where your porn habit has taken you.

I've never discussed some of these issues with anyone, and I'm finding it tough to 'fess up, even here.




But - anyone reading this knows the insidious progress of a porn addiction and its impact on the human brain. I've ended up questioning my sexuality and acting on that - I'm still not sure if I am somewhat bisexual or if I was just craving the dopamine hit of something new. I guess this process of rebooting may be the test of that.

Some things I've seen as a result of my quest for stimulation really repulse me - I've never knowingly looked at anything illegal, but a fair bit of stuff that is definitely questionable by any other measure. I'd convinced myself that my ultimate fantasy was to be the third member of a MMF scenario with FYFF or fucklicking being the key trigger for me. Even after 45 or so days of no porn, I'm still wired to be aroused by that idea, so there's a long way for me to go yet.

Like yourself, I have no idea if these are genuine "interests" - even if they are, I too am going to reserve my activity to reality of the opportunity presents, not go searching for 2D pixel-based versions of the same thing.

Some of my activity in the real world is hard for me to reconcile with my self image, too. At some point I'll confess all here, but I'm not yet ready for that, sorry. Rest assured, you are not a freak, nor are you alone in your niche activities!

Having spent 30+years in a world of virtual sex, with occasional tentative forays into reality, I'm looking forward to 2017 being the year of reality for me, not purely on a sexual level but in so many others too.

Thanks to all who post positive, supportive messages here. You make the journey a shared one, not a sad, lonely one.

MarcusSecret said:

Porn, especially erotic hypnosis, has led me to escalate tastes.. It is so disturbing to me when I think about it I never shared it with anybody (I do talk about addiction/ED with close family). Even writing it down here feels weird. But I think it will help me close this chapter and motivate me in 2017 as these are fetishes I simply do not want in my life.
Because of the hypno I got turned on by CEI (tasting your own seemen), prostate massaging, premature ejaculation trainers (to induce it) and almost tranny and sissy shit. This is in sheer contrast to who I am.. and I don't want to be turned on by this anymore. But while rebooting sometimes I get strong urges.. I'm not sure these fetishes will ever leave completely but I at least want to minimize them and keep them to maybe at one day expiriment with a partner with but never solo again.
If anyone has had some similar fetish induced do to porn, please share. It we'll help to know I'm not the only 'normal' guy that got attracted by this shit..

Ps; and apologies if you got triggered just know it's not what you want you can resist it. Life without is worth the fight

Click to expand...

Hey, Marcus

So, dude, you are totally not alone. It took me a YEAR to get over that shit. And the worse I felt, the more I dove deeper. But I am here to tell you that porn is just fantasy and it means nothing as far as our tastes are concerned. Obviously, this would be a different convorsation if we were talking about illegal abusive shit, but ultimately your taste in porn means nothing about who you are. These are paid preformers who we get a voyeourstic view of their lives from.

That's about it.

I get that it's scary. As a victim of sexual abuse and incest, it was hard for me to accept that THIS was the type of porn I needed most days. But, the more shocking something is, the more dopamine so it makes sense that the more something betrays your values, the more of an effect it's going to have on you. But, weather or not some of those fetishes stick with you, as long as you're with a consenting and healthy partner, there's really no problems.

NOW, weather you want those fetishes to begin with... I would just focus on getting yourself off the stuff and having faith in the process.

I'm not completely off the stuff, but I can tell you it's hold on me is not like it used to be.

It does get better.

I suggest you find yourself a therapist to help you. It's a lot different when it's a person you trust and like with years of experiance telling you this than some faceless anon. It takes a couple of tries sometimes to find someone you really connect with, but it's a good investment. If you don't have money, there's usaully programs to help you get the care you need with some patience.

For added comfort, check out this podcast: https://overcast.fm/+Bz5CYky-E

It's a little more porn positive than what these communities are comfortable with, but the underlying message is that it's normal and means nothing for the most part.

I'm sure it's extra confusing, but with time without porn and a legitimate assessment with your relationship with sex in general, I'm sure things will make sense.

Besides, it's 2016 and any potential partner you have will be more than understanding so long as you do the hard work now.

You're not alone, man.

Hey guys,

Very thankful for your replies. It's crazy how it can go, first when I looked at a CEI video I thought wtf who would ever do that!? Than not a year later I had strong urges for it, not that I wanted to do it but it was just the sheer novelty and dopamine rush that caused me to check these videos.

It's crazy to think the guy who I am would never do that I just can't be who I want with the fetishes I named: a confident go-getter. Luckily I never think about this shit troughout the day it would crush my confidence. Only when I'm alone sometimes these cravings come. I think what you guys wrote about fantasy is true, so it's not really yourself that's into it just your dopamine fiend mind..

About the bisexual thing, I know ppl say you are born gay etc and it's in your DNA and I believe that! However, the sissy videos and all that bullcrap I've seen is very powerful and I believe everything can be learned also what you like. Especially with hypnosis it can really create fetishes, the things I mentioned is all due to hypnosis videos. And unfortunately I think you might've been conditioned those bisexual tastes. That whole hypno scene is pretty messed up the "rush" is to get your self fucked up as a person in all ways possible. That's a motivation more to stop.

I think these unwanted cravings can fade for you guys too if we just abstain and start to enjoy genuine sex again.

Firstbigstep said:

Hi Marcus,

You are NOT alone in worrying about where your porn habit has taken you.

I've never discussed some of these issues with anyone, and I'm finding it tough to 'fess up, even here.




But - anyone reading this knows the insidious progress of a porn addiction and its impact on the human brain. I've ended up questioning my sexuality and acting on that - I'm still not sure if I am somewhat bisexual or if I was just craving the dopamine hit of something new. I guess this process of rebooting may be the test of that.

Some things I've seen as a result of my quest for stimulation really repulse me - I've never knowingly looked at anything illegal, but a fair bit of stuff that is definitely questionable by any other measure. I'd convinced myself that my ultimate fantasy was to be the third member of a MMF scenario with FYFF or fucklicking being the key trigger for me. Even after 45 or so days of no porn, I'm still wired to be aroused by that idea, so there's a long way for me to go yet.

Like yourself, I have no idea if these are genuine "interests" - even if they are, I too am going to reserve my activity to reality of the opportunity presents, not go searching for 2D pixel-based versions of the same thing.

Some of my activity in the real world is hard for me to reconcile with my self image, too. At some point I'll confess all here, but I'm not yet ready for that, sorry. Rest assured, you are not a freak, nor are you alone in your niche activities!

Having spent 30+years in a world of virtual sex, with occasional tentative forays into reality, I'm looking forward to 2017 being the year of reality for me, not purely on a sexual level but in so many others too.

Thanks to all who post positive, supportive messages here. You make the journey a shared one, not a sad, lonely one.

Click to expand...

PS I have the same with difficulty to fess up. It's so weird, like its a part of us but not really.

Hi all.. no need to 'fess up' at all. Your worry about that may push you towards PMO. It is a well studied phenomenon to escalate. Escalation can be in a) shock value b) variety/novelty value and c) size...called as supranormal stimuli.
They are to be treated as just 'thoughts'. But 'thoughts' do have the potential to become 'urges'. And 'urges' to 'cravings'.
The right time to cut the escalation is at the "thought" stage.

The thought or cues can occur during the initial abstaining stage when the 'little monster' is hard at work. And also when you have been an ex-PMOer for a longer time and it comes to you out of no where. They will come as brains has a DeltaFosB for that memory. But you don't need to worry about the brain science- it will only put you back to misery mode and right back to PMO.

The point is, you have no need to forget. Nothing bad is happening. Something marvelous is taking place. Even if you are thinking about it a thousand times a day, SAVOR EACH MOMENT. REMIND YOURSELF HOW MARVELOUS IT IS TO BE FREE AGAIN. REMIND YOURSELF OF THE SHEER JOY OF NOT HAVING TO TORTURE YOURSELF ANYMORE. As I have said, you will find that the pangs become moments of pleasure, and you will be surprised how quickly you will then forget about internet porn.
PS: I've written a hackbook based on a popular method. It does not use the Willpower method. You don't need to quit until you finish the book. Please find the link in my profile.

le_petit_moster said:

Hi all.. no need to 'fess up' at all. Your worry about that may push you towards PMO. It is a well studied phenomenon to escalate. Escalation can be in a) shock value b) variety/novelty value and c) size...called as supranormal stimuli.
They are to be treated as just 'thoughts'. But 'thoughts' do have the potential to become 'urges'. And 'urges' to 'cravings'.
The right time to cut the escalation is at the "thought" stage.

The thought or cues can occur during the initial abstaining stage when the 'little monster' is hard at work. And also when you have been an ex-PMOer for a longer time and it comes to you out of no where. They will come as brains has a DeltaFosB for that memory. But you don't need to worry about the brain science- it will only put you back to misery mode and right back to PMO.

The point is, you have no need to forget. Nothing bad is happening. Something marvelous is taking place. Even if you are thinking about it a thousand times a day, SAVOR EACH MOMENT. REMIND YOURSELF HOW MARVELOUS IT IS TO BE FREE AGAIN. REMIND YOURSELF OF THE SHEER JOY OF NOT HAVING TO TORTURE YOURSELF ANYMORE. As I have said, you will find that the pangs become moments of pleasure, and you will be surprised how quickly you will then forget about internet porn.
PS: I've written a hackbook based on a popular method. It does not use the Willpower method. You don't need to quit until you finish the book. Please find the link in my profile.

Click to expand...

Thanks for your reply. You seem to have a lot of experience.

Hey man, I am in the same boat as you. I've ejaculated on my face a couple of times, watched shemale porn exclusively for the something like 10 years and even did some crossdressing and anal play. I know this is not who I am because I've always been interested in girls as partners. It is just that this stuff has desentisized me and I got a PIED when I was with a girl - surely watching porn and getting hard from it instead of a real girl has contributed to this problem.
Just like you, I hope these fetishes wear out. I've been PMO-free for 6 days now and today I got a dream about this shemale stuff. I just want to get my hard on from real ladies that I usually like.

Goodfella said:

Hey man, I am in the same boat as you. I've ejaculated on my face a couple of times, watched shemale porn exclusively for the something like 10 years and even did some crossdressing and anal play. I know this is not who I am because I've always been interested in girls as partners. It is just that this stuff has desentisized me and I got a PIED when I was with a girl - surely watching porn and getting hard from it instead of a real girl has contributed to this problem.
Just like you, I hope these fetishes wear out. I've been PMO-free for 6 days now and today I got a dream about this shemale stuff. I just want to get my hard on from real ladies that I usually like.

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It sucks to know its not really you right.. All the best man, if you WANT to quit you will.
Surely check out this book on how to beat PMO addiction effectively posted under this topic:

http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=11997.0

Dude its the porn. If you were born straight you will always be straight. Maybe you have hocd because thats what I developed when I let this gay guy suck my dick afted being exposed to porn since I was 11. I would start off with straight then moved all the way to the bizzare ones which is tranny and gay. It was the worse feeling of my life.  Stay positive guys ^_^