Hey dude,
(I'm not a native English. So please excuse potential mistakes)
I'd like to give you an advice. But it does not directly answer to your question.
I think you put a lot of pressure on yourself by thinking like this and you might reconsider your goals.
The way how I entered into ED was because I had a distorted view of my goals for having Sex. My mind was programmed to "I have to perform." or "I have to give her pleasure." and I completely forgot about my own pleasure. And I read from your question an "I have to last long." and I ask myself, why would ejaculating early be something scary??? Isn't the ejaculation your final goal? Is an early ejaculation worse than a later one?
My advice: rethink all your goals. At the end you have sex for your own joy and not to give her pleasure. Depending on many factors, I sometimes last long and then there are days where a few strokes make my balls feel as if Coke and Menthos have just met. In this case, I just enjoy the moment and the ejaculation in that woman's pussy. As less "scared" you are and as more you accept that you are a human being who is responsible for his own pleasure, as easier it will be for you to last longer.
I wish you all the best on your reboot journey. I know that sooner or later you will do well.
