'Watching porn' in your own imagination

Hey.

I'm 24. I was searching a forum but I didn't found anything related to my situation. I'm addicted to masturbation but it's NOT porn related. In fact I can't get en erection watching porns, I was using my own imagination and touch since I was like 9, an I never stopped since then. So it is difficult to me to take it up without touching.

I had two girlfriends in my life and we've had a sexual life although my performances were rather poor. Not to flood you with details I had loads of complete failures in bed. It's 3 years now since I last had sex. I had a lot of situations when I coud 'close the deal' but I was always doing everything to avoid it. I have no problem talking with girls as long as there is no sexual interest involved, the minute I see that she's into me, it feels like something's burning in my chest. I'm terryfied because I KNOW I will fail so I'm not following through. But in night I return to my fantasies (The fantasies alone don''t work I have to use my hand) and do the thing in comfort.

I'll never have again a sexual life with this panic concerning sex. I AM FRIENDZONING girls intrested in me, because of this riddiculus fear. How f*cked up is that? I thought about calling an escort, to get through this fear, you know I would not have be worried about my performance and once I succeed (If I do), I could try my chance in real situation...

Do you thing that 'watching porn' but on the screen of my own imagination is actually the same thing as watching regular porn? What about my 'escort idea'? I'm feeling like a wierdo, really. I need to sort it out and fast, I've had it. I'll do anything you suggest.

Thanks for your help.

Hi Martin, please research more on Yourbrainonporn.com

Apparently any artificial stimulation ( even fantasies ) may harm you.
Refrain on doing that for at least a while.

Good luck!

I can really relate to that burning feeling in your chest, and having to friend-zone girls. It really sucks. Recently I was with somebody who was ridiculously hot, and was really in love with me - but a lot of the time I couldn't have sex (anxious feeling in chest, getting really hot, loss of erection) and I ended up having to end the relationship out of shame.

If you masturbate while fantasizing you are conditioning yourself to be aroused by images in your mind instead of another human being. So it can be damaging in the a similar way to porn (from my experience anyway). I realised I was using the fantasies/porn as a way of making myself feel better about my sexual failure, but ironically it was making it worse!

I find it hard to O without porn fantasies, or other fantasies popping into my head, so I am trying my best to cut it out completely. I would recommend doing the same.

So no porn and no fantasizing. How does one even masturbate? Just purely physical sensation then?