27 yo man, had some success. Recently fallen off the wagon.

Captain's log: Sunday, May 22nd, 2016

Hi, I'm gonna keep my story brief; this journal is mostly going to be for my own discipline, but if it helps someone else that's great. I'm a 27 year old male and I discovered online porn at age 11. I didn't have my first sexual experience (blowjobs) with a girl until I was 19 and I had difficulty getting to orgasm with her. Later on at 20 I had sex for the first time and everything seemed to work ok. After that it was about 3 years until I had another chance to have sex, and in that time I started to use porn tube type websites. Then when i was 23 I met another girl who wanted to hook up and my penis did not work AT ALL. Naturally, this was alarming to me and led to my discovery of the NoFap subreddit. I experimented with NoFap for awhile and ended up doing a streak of 60+ days and went porn free for a couple months. Over the next 3 years I was on and off of Nofap/Pornfree streaks and just recently I had a couple really good sexual experiences with a girl I work with, but I felt like my body is still not 100% responding the way I want, as in not quite as hard as I get when I see porn. That fling with the girl from work is over now and I want to get serious about living pornfree and limiting my masturbation again. I'm having a little trouble getting back on the wagon so I'm going to start daily journal entries to help myself get it together. Before I end this post I want to give some advice to people who may be just starting their journey. DO NOT BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF. I went from complete PIED to erections that can penetrate in the space of a few years through cutting down and limiting my porn use/masturbation, I know being 100% clean is better, and I'm working on that but I also know that becoming neurotic and anxious about masturbation/porn is going to kill your sex drive just as fast as anything else. Be disciplined but do not let anxiety fuck with your head. Anxiety has killed more human erections than porn ever will, it's got a head start of about 200,00 years. That being said; never forget that you will never be your best sexual self unless you remove porn from your life 100%. That'll do it for today, stay disciplined.

[Update]

2 days porn free. I've masturbated but I'm not a believer in the NoFap doctrine so I don't care. Still having trouble getting out of bed on time and I'm worrying about world events a lot. I need to focus on keeping busy and improving myself.

FixingMyPenis said:

[Update]

2 days porn free. I've masturbated but I'm not a believer in the NoFap doctrine so I don't care. Still having trouble getting out of bed on time and I'm worrying about world events a lot. I need to focus on keeping busy and improving myself.

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Yeah I also get trap into politics, religion and news.
These things are just distractions from recovery.

Reboot should be our first priority entire life.

This addiction is like that, once you change priorities, it ruins you badly.

Thanks for leaving a note, you're right about all the political and world news shit, it's just a distraction and a dangerous one at that because it keeps me sitting at my computer aimlessly browsing. On that note i ended up looking at non-nude pics of girls in google image and fapping today so I'm starting again. I know I'm capable of long streaks, I just need to prioritize and get away from the computer unless I'm doing something that takes all my attention, and doesn't upset me. I think losing that thing with the girl from work is hurting me more than I want to admit, so I've gotta deal with that. That was 4 days, Going for atleast a week this time, and I'm going to make a post every day.

PS: I like that counter on the bottom of your post, how do I set up one of those?

[Day 4]

Well I'm on day four now and I feel good, I've changed my attitude a bit since my relapse last Saturday night and I think I'm ready to get a good streak under my belt. I called the girl I had a fling with and said some things I needed to get off my chest and I feel a lot better now. The real challenge is getting out and finding someone new, and I know avoiding PMO will help motivate me. I'm gonna get up early and get to the gym tomorrow before work and hopefully have a productive day.

Yeah, about the computer thing it's really a problem; personally I spend a lot of time in front of a screen primarily for school reasons, but sometimes when I'm taking a break I get tempted to the point where I would at least watch a couple of pics, and feel extremely guilty afterwards.
There is a solution for it though, apart from the usual willpower stuff, and it's taking your PC to a place where you know you won't be alone all the time. Although I'll tell ya, with those smartphones I don't know how much of an effective technique it is anyway.
That being said you just need to insist and learn from your mistakes, and you know you can make it, that's good.

PS: I like that counter on the bottom of your post, how do I set up one of those?

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About that there you go, all you need to know.

Keep up the good work
-Dave-

[Day 7]  =D

I fapped a couple times, but I've completely avoided P and P-subs so It's been a good week. Gonna try to avoid MO altogether this coming week. I feel like I'm in the last leg of this journey now that I've had some successful and enjoyable sexual experiences finally. Next time I'm with a woman I'm going to be 100% erect and easily turned on.

Thanks for reading/commenting.

Yeah, it's tough. I live alone and decided to get rid of my TV a few years back, so my computer is my main source of music/shows/games etc. I use OpenDNS to block a lot of troublesome sites, so usually the worst i end up doing is looking at pics on google image search. The reality is, I think, that computers are unavoidable so cultivating willpower is the only solution. I'm working on finding some new hobbies to get out of the house more. I've already got a strict fitness regimen that's been helping me a lot with attracting women and general confidence, but I need to start doing other things and actually making friends. The only way I meet girls right now is through work (restaurant) and I've had some good experiences but it's not ideal; I basically just hope that they hire someone who's gonna want to date me, lol. Anyway that's enough rambling for today.

Noon:
Well I fucked up today and looked at some screenshots from a hentai game that was added on steam. I got hard and touched myself a little, but I stopped myself pretty fast. I'm still resetting. That was 1 week. This time I'm getting at least 2 weeks. =D

[EDIT (4:30pm)

so I made this day worse and binged for a couple hours today on reddit. I'm really dissapointed in myself. I tricked myself into letting down my openDNS protection and that was the end of it. I can never let myself do that again. Tomorrow is day 1, my goal is 2 weeks+. Today sucks. I need to accept that this is an addiction and realize that I cannot take chances. I Cannot touch myself, and I Cannot let down my guards on my computer. I feel really shitty about this, but I know I'm gonna go longer this time. I have to.

[Day1] Day one sucks ass, but it's far superior to day 0.

Come on man, you're better than this, you made it this far so now get back on track even if it hurts and start all over again
About web filters, I had my fair share of experience with 'em, but I realized they were doing me more damage than anything so I had them removed. You see, when I wanted to fap there was no filter that could hold me back, I realize that for some guys it's an important speed bump that gives enough time to rationalize what one's doing and getting back on track before it's too late, but for me I get a surge of excitement just by hacking my way through those filters, and that's not good if you're trying to resensitize the pathways of your brain involved with excitement.

Good luck on you're recovery
-Dave-

Thanks for the encouragement Dave. I agree with your stance on filters to a point, but its a tough decision. I know I can get past the filter anytime I want to, but that extra time it takes is enough for me to realize what I Really want. Usually. The surge of excitement you describe is definitely a factor though, I'll need to really think about that. I'm at the end of day 1 here  getting ready to do some exercises and go to sleep. I'm looking forward to getting past the 7 day mark, the after the first week is usually when I start to feel really good, but I need to be careful not to get cocky and/or trick myself. Thanks for taking the time to read and write on here; knowing that someone's paying attention to my progress is good motivation not to fuck up anymore. Nobody IRL knows about this issue I'm dealing with so it's good to have a little support. I appreciate it.

[Day2 Morning] I'm through the morning now, about to go to work. I was tempted today by images on youtube; I'm looking at you Majestic music channel =P. I chose not to give in to the temptation. I'm really looking forward to the way I'm gonna feel after this first week, and beyond.

[Day 3]

Well, that feeling of shitty weakness from my relapse is gone, and I'm starting to feel horny and healthy again. Had a good workout today; mighta overdone it a bit. I guess I'll find out tomorrow, lol.
Didn't have any temptations today, but I also didn't really have time between DOTA, the gym and work. Time to do some mobility work and go to sleep.

Yeah man it takes at least 3 days to recover from the loss of semen.
I am glad you are feeling better.
Don't listen to those sexual urges.
Stay strong.

[Day 4] Sore as fuck from deadlifts yesterday. Other than that average day, no temptations for P, M or O.

[Day 5] Not much to say when things are going well, lol

FixingMyPenis said:

[Day 5] Not much to say when things are going well, lol

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Great.
Keep moving

[Day 6]

I've been bored and surfing the web aimlessly a bit today, but I didn't feel any urges to use P. I actually took down my OpenDNS protection temporarily so I could link a funny pic from Imgur to my facebook, and funnily enough I felt a surge of excitement while changing my DNS codes even though I had no intention of using P (there was no escalation on my part, despite this feeling). This is something to think about; I'm tempted to try to freeball the internet, but I just feel better having the filter up for the time being. I'm feeling healthy and confident today. That usually means no desire to use P, so things are pretty good. Off to the gym now. Thanks to everyone who reads this, I know it's mostly disjointed rambling and not reader-friendly so I appreciate those who comment.

[7]

Well, been feeling somewhat lackluster and malaise-ridden today. Had some weak urges for porn, but I had a shower and left the house to go have a meal at the pub where I work. Getting out and socializing a little bit helps you realize how silly P is. Specially when you've had real sexual experiences. This is gonna be the year I stop PMO for good. I've been working hard on myself and I know I can attract hot girls now, so PMO is pretty much the stupidest thing I can do. Rebooting is my #1 priority over the coming months.

I have to chuckle at how similar our experiences are! We're both working on avoiding porn subs, and both push it too hard at the gym (hello sore shoulder). Like you, I've had an on and off-again relationship with success, and also like you decided that fapping without porn was still a trigger and recently decided to cut it out completely as well. Also like you, a main trigger is spending lots of time on the internet, especially social media. I put up a filter, but at the same time know that that won't really stop me. I've recently taken the tough approach of barring myself from social media and browsing any unessential websites. Basically if I do any of this I will reset my counter and tell my wife. I've also restricted my overall internet time significantly. So far it's helping a lot and I am almost 1 week clean, but I know that it will get harder before it gets easier.

Good luck! It sounds like you're doing a great job at this and I admire your comittment.