aquarius25
Respected Member
I am working on seeking support when I am feeling triggered rather than just trying to manage it on my own as t doesn't always work, lol. So I am coming on here and asking for support. I had a really weird experience this morning and just wanted some thoughts about how to process and handle this situation.
My daughter loves cats. She is a total animal lover and wants to help and save every helpless animal out there. I love that she has a big heart, she is 7 and her heart is huge. Anyway, she has taken in this stray cat. The cat seems to do fine with others cats so we decided to let her come inside and adopt her. We have no clue if she is spayed or not and the plan was after the move we would get her checked out. Well a week ago we moved from the apt to the house we had been restoring and she got out. She was gone for two days and we finally got her back. I called a vet and took her in right away. So this morning I went to the vet. I homeschool so as always the kids came too. The vet came in and it was so awful!!! He proceeded to sternly lecture me on feeding stray cats and how that is hurting cats and is part of the problem. He said she could be pregnant and probably is and that we should abort and spay asap! I stepped in and hinted about thinking about it because I would like to have that conversation without my kids in the room. I am all for getting her spayed but this wasn't the place I wanted to explain those details to my kids. He then took it upon himself to get into a lot of detail about the process of cat sex! He even said it was violent and hurt the female cat (pointing to our cat). He used the term rape! Then went through the process of impregnation and egg fertilization, and the process of abortion in front of my 7 & 9 yr old. I tried to shift the conversation and asked how someone who loves cat could help the cat and he said don't help them and that we are killing them by helping them. My daughter was in tears, my son was pretty shaken too.
Later on the drive home, I kept running the experience in my head. I kept thinking about what I should have done and all the things I should have said. Why did I let him speak to me that way? Honestly, in that moment, I felt scared and helpless. He was very assertive in his language and the way he presented himself. It scared me that I allowed a man to talk to me and my kids that way. Of course, now my kids are asking questions about abortion and everything else. My son is asking about rape! Let me be clear. I do believe that these are a conversation we need to have but not like this. That man took it upon himself to decide that today is the day of education. I allowed him that control. I felt helpless when I should have stepped up and taken control of the situation. I am disappointed in myself. I am sad for my kids. It is a big mess.
My daughter loves cats. She is a total animal lover and wants to help and save every helpless animal out there. I love that she has a big heart, she is 7 and her heart is huge. Anyway, she has taken in this stray cat. The cat seems to do fine with others cats so we decided to let her come inside and adopt her. We have no clue if she is spayed or not and the plan was after the move we would get her checked out. Well a week ago we moved from the apt to the house we had been restoring and she got out. She was gone for two days and we finally got her back. I called a vet and took her in right away. So this morning I went to the vet. I homeschool so as always the kids came too. The vet came in and it was so awful!!! He proceeded to sternly lecture me on feeding stray cats and how that is hurting cats and is part of the problem. He said she could be pregnant and probably is and that we should abort and spay asap! I stepped in and hinted about thinking about it because I would like to have that conversation without my kids in the room. I am all for getting her spayed but this wasn't the place I wanted to explain those details to my kids. He then took it upon himself to get into a lot of detail about the process of cat sex! He even said it was violent and hurt the female cat (pointing to our cat). He used the term rape! Then went through the process of impregnation and egg fertilization, and the process of abortion in front of my 7 & 9 yr old. I tried to shift the conversation and asked how someone who loves cat could help the cat and he said don't help them and that we are killing them by helping them. My daughter was in tears, my son was pretty shaken too.
Later on the drive home, I kept running the experience in my head. I kept thinking about what I should have done and all the things I should have said. Why did I let him speak to me that way? Honestly, in that moment, I felt scared and helpless. He was very assertive in his language and the way he presented himself. It scared me that I allowed a man to talk to me and my kids that way. Of course, now my kids are asking questions about abortion and everything else. My son is asking about rape! Let me be clear. I do believe that these are a conversation we need to have but not like this. That man took it upon himself to decide that today is the day of education. I allowed him that control. I felt helpless when I should have stepped up and taken control of the situation. I am disappointed in myself. I am sad for my kids. It is a big mess.