Porn Addicts Not Recognizing Their Old Porn Using Self

AnonymousAnnaXO

Active Member

• Oct 11, 2016

• #1

I have a question to ask partners and PA's. My partner, when I tell him about the things he used to do, especially when we began dating, he doesn't see what I say as himself. To him it seems like a different person did those things. He says it's hard to imagine him being that way comparing himself to who he is now.

I do see a huge change in him, a good change. It just threw me off when we were talking about the past and he asked me if he really did those things to me (i.e. instagram porn girls and scrolling through and liking them in front of me when I said that was unacceptable, or commenting on naked women on tv when I made clear how uncomfortable I was and he continued, etc.). He honestly can't believe that he was "immature and disrespectful" (his words) to me like that and he couldn't imagine doing that to me now.

Has any partner experienced the PA not relating to the person they were when using porn? Or PA's have you experienced that? I was just curious of more people felt that way.

 

E

Emerald Blue

Well-Known Member

• Oct 11, 2016

• #2

Yes! My husband says when he looks back he can't believe it. He says he spent years like he was on a hamster wheel. He can't believe the crap he watched. He doesn't understand it. It only made sense when he read about the addiction theory. He looks back and says "what did I think I was doing?"

 

AnonymousAnnaXO

Active Member

• Oct 13, 2016

• #3

Glad to know I'm not alone and my partner isn't alone in feeling that. He get's very upset when he see's me so hurt when I talk about the past and just is in awe that he was capable of hurting me so deeply.

 

Gracie

Moderator

Staff member

Moderator

• Oct 14, 2016

• #4

My husband has said the same thing.  When I go over how he acted and treated me at that time.  He can't believe the depth of my pain and that he caused it.  I cannot believe the pain it caused either. 

 

AnonymousAnnaXO

Active Member

• Oct 14, 2016

• #5

Yeah, I think that's one of the worst parts, is seeing my partner see the damage that has been done. Whenever I'm triggered and break down, he get's so sad, and I can feel the depression radiating off of him and I feel bad he feels bad, I don't mean to make him feel bad, but then again he does have to face what's happened. I just don't always know what to do when he gets in those depressions after seeing me so hurt.