the_wife
New Member
so here is the back story:
I married my best friend we have one kid together soon to be two, he hid this addiction from me for 4 years, and i told him 3 times since being married if he continues i will leave him and never come back. He broke his promise and i lashed out with hateful words i packed my shit and was ready to move out of state, he sat me down and said he has an addiction to "fapping" i was shocked and disgusted, i thought he was lying so i can feel bad but he explained to me how he has been doing it for 19 years.
what broke me was when i asked him to swear on my life and he swore on my life he didnt do anything. and 1 day later i was on his phone looking up a word he was acting really fidgety and i knew immediately he is doing it agin. my husband has never ever lied to anyone, he is a very honest person. one of the things i fell for.
so i cried and told him he was the last person i ever trusted and he felt bad so he he took the initiative to find a therapist and bought books to help him. we are working on this together.
i look back and feel so bad that i made him feel like a freak. i should have stopped to think. is this an issue
since this incident i send my husband friendly reminders that i love him and he is a strong person.
he recently told me that he tried thinking about stuff that would turn him on but he didnt have any urges, i laughed and said "please dont do that' its still a fear in me. :'(
from him being open and honest about all of this it has helped with quitting. we talk about this everyday when he he gets home. i ask him questions but if he isnt ready to answer illl let it slide.
but im still scared, i fear the withdrawals, i fear he is lying to me, i fear he will never be free of this. so im hoping i can talk to partners and loved ones on here.
thanks for reading and please fill free to message me some encouraging words, anything will help
I married my best friend we have one kid together soon to be two, he hid this addiction from me for 4 years, and i told him 3 times since being married if he continues i will leave him and never come back. He broke his promise and i lashed out with hateful words i packed my shit and was ready to move out of state, he sat me down and said he has an addiction to "fapping" i was shocked and disgusted, i thought he was lying so i can feel bad but he explained to me how he has been doing it for 19 years.
what broke me was when i asked him to swear on my life and he swore on my life he didnt do anything. and 1 day later i was on his phone looking up a word he was acting really fidgety and i knew immediately he is doing it agin. my husband has never ever lied to anyone, he is a very honest person. one of the things i fell for.
so i cried and told him he was the last person i ever trusted and he felt bad so he he took the initiative to find a therapist and bought books to help him. we are working on this together.
i look back and feel so bad that i made him feel like a freak. i should have stopped to think. is this an issue
since this incident i send my husband friendly reminders that i love him and he is a strong person.
he recently told me that he tried thinking about stuff that would turn him on but he didnt have any urges, i laughed and said "please dont do that' its still a fear in me. :'(
from him being open and honest about all of this it has helped with quitting. we talk about this everyday when he he gets home. i ask him questions but if he isnt ready to answer illl let it slide.
but im still scared, i fear the withdrawals, i fear he is lying to me, i fear he will never be free of this. so im hoping i can talk to partners and loved ones on here.
thanks for reading and please fill free to message me some encouraging words, anything will help