It's 20th day and I partially relapsed

Today I could not resist and in a way relapsed. It's been 20 days I have not seen porn, nor I get any temptation to do so. But there is sense of anxiety and frustration of office rituals.

Although I didn't see porn today but while i being in toilet,  started playing and boom it came out in a tiny little and then I further had the anxiety to fap and it came out as a rush of enegy. Now I feel a bit weak. Now this, to me, seems to be a problem.

Let me kNow how to withdraw from masturbation too. I just don't want to loose my vital energy, which I have been doing for last 11 years. I want to make this into a lifetime makeover.

I want to stop all these energy loss anxiety driven craziness.
Community please help me , in my continuation.

Good thing is definitely no porn since 25th May'19, the day committed to stop watching effing nonsense.

It's in a way same pulse of anxiety that builds up when I see a ciggearate and later I always regret. How to tap this "anxiety -->> submit to desire -->> regret -- >> build anxiety further strongly" cycle
Help me!

22nd day .. completely relapsed. Started with a massage and ended with Porn. This is crazy. Have to stop this craving.

First of all, forgive yourself. You slipped up but you didnt kill anyone and you are only human.

20 days is a good streak. Sometimes when you get so used to not having temptation, that is when you can be most likely to slip up as you start to take it for granted. Be aware of the mistakes you make so you can be better prepared for next time and try as best you can not to relapse again and end up binging on porn.

It is also importiant to remember that recover is not ust about abstaining but looking at what your triggers are and what leads you to reaching for porn and masturbation.

It's the 5th night , since I relapsed. Feeling like watching but won't so gonna Switch off mobile and sleep silently

I relapsed 2 days continuously . Today I start again.