7th month of rebooting and ED came back

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davenl

Active Member
It's august 7th, so that makes it almost 7 months since I started the hardmode reboot. Since I started I haven't masturbated or watched porn whatsoever. During the first 6 months I did not have any orgasms, other than two wetdreams. Things were looking up and still do.

At the end of the six month streak I was getting more confident. At the same time I still had periods (days sometimes a little more) of anxiety and flatline. I think people call that PAWS or something. During the last 40 days I got in contact with two girls which resulted in having sex with both of them the last 3 weeks.

With both girls I had succesful sex. I wouldn't say it was the best sex I ever had and it was fragile, but at least I had an erection and I could actually enjoy the situation, myself and the girls. That really gave me a boost in confidence and the first time I got some kind of confirmation that I was on the right track.

About 5 days ago I went on another date with one of the girls. We did lot's of kissing, but no sex. After that, I had high excitement levels for about 2 days. I would even get an erection when I just received an app message. I also struggled with sexual fantasies popping up again, but they were all about her so I thought it might be part of the whole thingy.

Than, 2 days ago, I met up with her again. I didn't feel anything. It was all plain, no attraction really. I was still confident that it would come later that evening. But even when we had a laugh, started kissing, I felt nothing really. Her great seduction techniques wouldn't help. I didn't want to have sex with her. I did it anyways. Sometimes there would be spikes of libido. I would have an erection for like 30 to 60 seconds and than all my attention and interest would fade away and go completely flat.

I was struggling all the time. She was completely cool with it, but for me it was such a disappointment. I was making so much good progress and now, it seems like I am exactly where I started 7 months ago. Right now I am in a flatline again.

I cannot even feel angry anymore. I don't have answers and I feel down and disappointed.. I am not sure this reboot is the right path.. I went so deep and now it all seems to be for nothing.

Anybody has experiences like this after such a long time of rebooting? Is this all part of it? Did I do anything wrong?

I really don't know what to do.. If there is anybody with advice, I would be so grateful
 
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willtochange

Active Member
Congrats on making it so far in, i have seen a few other posts with similar issues. I would keep pushing forward and realise that going in and out of a flatline can occur for awhile even after months of reboot. I believe it took Gabe like 9 months to get erections again and a year to be fully functional.
 
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davenl

Active Member
willtochange said:
Congrats on making it so far in, i have seen a few other posts with similar issues. I would keep pushing forward and realise that going in and out of a flatline can occur for awhile even after months of reboot. I believe it took Gabe like 9 months to get erections again and a year to be fully functional.
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Thanks mate. I guess you are right. I just feel like I was at the start of this reboot. Makes me feel like everything I went through was for nothing
 
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davenl

Active Member
Something else I want to add and where I would really like to get some answers for is the fact that when I had an erection I did  reach an orgasm. It was not feeling perfectly normal. It even hurted a littlebit, but I did come. Now I am in a flatline

What would you guys say in my situation? I guess everybody agrees on doing rewiring, even if this down there are not functional. But how about having an orgasm? I have done hardmode for 6 months. Do you think I still need to avoid orgasm during sex? I am not masturbating or have any urge to do that
 
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8radishes

Active Member
I share your doubts, man.

I've been rebooting since December, and all its done for me is lower my self-confidence and take away my time and money.

The more I commit to rebooting, the more I feel defined by my ED. I've grown reluctant to date because of it, and I've lost countless hours and money interacting on forums and seeing therapists and ED experts.

I've been at this for 9 months now, and I've seen zero improvement in my erectile health when it gets down to sex with a real partner. Pretty disenchanted right now.
 
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scorpion1386

Well-Known Member
8radishes said:
I share your doubts, man.

I've been rebooting since December, and all its done for me is lower my self-confidence and take away my time and money.

The more I commit to rebooting, the more I feel defined by my ED. I've grown reluctant to date because of it, and I've lost countless hours and money interacting on forums and seeing therapists and ED experts.

I've been at this for 9 months now, and I've seen zero improvement in my erectile health when it gets down to sex with a real partner. Pretty disenchanted right now.
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Have you masturbated during your reboot?
 
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davenl

Active Member
8radishes said:
I share your doubts, man.

I've been rebooting since December, and all its done for me is lower my self-confidence and take away my time and money.

The more I commit to rebooting, the more I feel defined by my ED. I've grown reluctant to date because of it, and I've lost countless hours and money interacting on forums and seeing therapists and ED experts.

I've been at this for 9 months now, and I've seen zero improvement in my erectile health when it gets down to sex with a real partner. Pretty disenchanted right now.
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Hmm that doesn't sound very encouraging. So what are your plans right now? And what did the therapists and ED experts tell you?
 
Phase2

Phase2

Well-Known Member
Sorry about your struggles. I think a lot of us have bumpy time coming out of a reboot. Two things to consider as you refine your recovery:

1. If you are getting erections from her texts, that's feeding your dopamine addiction. The proof is in your pants. I think these sort of 'porn substitute' moments (sexting, webcamming, hook up/dating apps, seeking and searching through facebook and tindr, etc) are damaging to our progress. You are going back to your old ways of getting your thrills from something other than a real live person in the same room with you. So you are reinforcing that bad dopamine pathways, after you've put so much time and energy into building new ones with a reboot. An erection from texting means you should quickly try to steer the conversation away from any kind of titillation and save the sexual energy for a real life encounter. (Not always easy, I know. I struggle with this myself. But it does make sense that this is a step backward).

2. You say you 'didn't want to have sex with her' and yet you tried to and failed. I think we have to read our bodies better. If you aren't feeling it, you shouldn't try to force the issue--which often leads to a disappointing performance and then more anxiety about PIED. If you're not in the mood, you're not in the mood. I think it's porn-thinking to assume you are a Super Sex God who is ready to fuck at a moment's notice 24/7. Sometimes you just arent. And you are emerging out of a reboot so its quite natural to assume you won't go from 0 to 60 right away. Be careful with your steps forward. Only drop those pants when you are really truly horny and ready to get it on. That will be better for your confidence.

Good luck buddy. Keep going. No PMO! No Porn Substitutes!
 
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davenl

Active Member
Phase2 said:
Sorry about your struggles. I think a lot of us have bumpy time coming out of a reboot. Two things to consider as you refine your recovery:

1. If you are getting erections from her texts, that's feeding your dopamine addiction. The proof is in your pants. I think these sort of 'porn substitute' moments (sexting, webcamming, hook up/dating apps, seeking and searching through facebook and tindr, etc) are damaging to our progress. You are going back to your old ways of getting your thrills from something other than a real live person in the same room with you. So you are reinforcing that bad dopamine pathways, after you've put so much time and energy into building new ones with a reboot. An erection from texting means you should quickly try to steer the conversation away from any kind of titillation and save the sexual energy for a real life encounter. (Not always easy, I know. I struggle with this myself. But it does make sense that this is a step backward).

2. You say you 'didn't want to have sex with her' and yet you tried to and failed. I think we have to read our bodies better. If you aren't feeling it, you shouldn't try to force the issue--which often leads to a disappointing performance and then more anxiety about PIED. If you're not in the mood, you're not in the mood. I think it's porn-thinking to assume you are a Super Sex God who is ready to fuck at a moment's notice 24/7. Sometimes you just arent. And you are emerging out of a reboot so its quite natural to assume you won't go from 0 to 60 right away. Be careful with your steps forward. Only drop those pants when you are really truly horny and ready to get it on. That will be better for your confidence.

Good luck buddy. Keep going. No PMO! No Porn Substitutes!
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Hej mate, thanks a lot for your response. Your completely right! BTW it was not sexting, just a message that made it go up. Now nothing happens. I am in a flatline. I am going to follow your advice next time I just don't feel it. Although it will be really hard on the girl too. We just saw each other 4 times and we should be all over each other.. But it's just not what it is right now.

Gonna stick to it.. It's the only thing I can do
 
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8radishes

Active Member
davenl said:
Hmm that doesn't sound very encouraging. So what are your plans right now? And what did the therapists and ED experts tell you?
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Getting a physical tomorrow. I guess I'm gonna see if I can get cialis/viagra, then start dating again and see what happens. I still intend to avoid PMO, though.

My therapist and ED experts just emphasize that it can take a long time for some men to recovery. In my opinion, though, it has already been a long time for me, and I don't feel any different despite the changes in lifestyle.
 
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scorpion1386

Well-Known Member
Phase2 said:
Sorry about your struggles. I think a lot of us have bumpy time coming out of a reboot. Two things to consider as you refine your recovery:

1. If you are getting erections from her texts, that's feeding your dopamine addiction. The proof is in your pants. I think these sort of 'porn substitute' moments (sexting, webcamming, hook up/dating apps, seeking and searching through facebook and tindr, etc) are damaging to our progress. You are going back to your old ways of getting your thrills from something other than a real live person in the same room with you. So you are reinforcing that bad dopamine pathways, after you've put so much time and energy into building new ones with a reboot. An erection from texting means you should quickly try to steer the conversation away from any kind of titillation and save the sexual energy for a real life encounter. (Not always easy, I know. I struggle with this myself. But it does make sense that this is a step backward).

2. You say you 'didn't want to have sex with her' and yet you tried to and failed. I think we have to read our bodies better. If you aren't feeling it, you shouldn't try to force the issue--which often leads to a disappointing performance and then more anxiety about PIED. If you're not in the mood, you're not in the mood. I think it's porn-thinking to assume you are a Super Sex God who is ready to fuck at a moment's notice 24/7. Sometimes you just arent. And you are emerging out of a reboot so its quite natural to assume you won't go from 0 to 60 right away. Be careful with your steps forward. Only drop those pants when you are really truly horny and ready to get it on. That will be better for your confidence.

Good luck buddy. Keep going. No PMO! No Porn Substitutes!
Click to expand...

Erections from texts is still PIED right? I can really only get spontaneous erections from texts when I did.
 
D

davenl

Active Member
scorpion1386 said:
Phase2 said:
Sorry about your struggles. I think a lot of us have bumpy time coming out of a reboot. Two things to consider as you refine your recovery:

1. If you are getting erections from her texts, that's feeding your dopamine addiction. The proof is in your pants. I think these sort of 'porn substitute' moments (sexting, webcamming, hook up/dating apps, seeking and searching through facebook and tindr, etc) are damaging to our progress. You are going back to your old ways of getting your thrills from something other than a real live person in the same room with you. So you are reinforcing that bad dopamine pathways, after you've put so much time and energy into building new ones with a reboot. An erection from texting means you should quickly try to steer the conversation away from any kind of titillation and save the sexual energy for a real life encounter. (Not always easy, I know. I struggle with this myself. But it does make sense that this is a step backward).

2. You say you 'didn't want to have sex with her' and yet you tried to and failed. I think we have to read our bodies better. If you aren't feeling it, you shouldn't try to force the issue--which often leads to a disappointing performance and then more anxiety about PIED. If you're not in the mood, you're not in the mood. I think it's porn-thinking to assume you are a Super Sex God who is ready to fuck at a moment's notice 24/7. Sometimes you just arent. And you are emerging out of a reboot so its quite natural to assume you won't go from 0 to 60 right away. Be careful with your steps forward. Only drop those pants when you are really truly horny and ready to get it on. That will be better for your confidence.

Good luck buddy. Keep going. No PMO! No Porn Substitutes!
Click to expand...

Erections from texts is still PIED right? I can really only get spontaneous erections from texts when I did.
Click to expand...

PIED is the fact that you have erectile dysfunction related issues initiated by your porn use. As far as they say here is that everything that excites you and isn't human contact should be avoided when you are trying to overcome these problems. So yes, if texts are the only thing that trigger erections, you might want to stay away from it.
 
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