aquarius25
Respected Member
In another thread on here, a few of us were encouraging a newcomer to set boundaries. I know I have mentioned it over the year quite a bit. As I reflect back to D-day and everything that was going through my mind a thought occurred to me. Back then, I am not sure I even knew how to set boundries and how to enforce them. I didn't know what boundries really were. I also felt like an idiot saying, "You need to have your phone on the table when you're home so I can see it". I felt like a controlling parent and not a wife. Honestly, I felt ridiculous, but it was still needed and his addiction was ridiculous too.
So in an effort to help some of the new comers and some of us who have been around for a bit too, lol, what boundries have you ladies, and men started. I thought it would be helpful to list some of them and why to give partners an idea what that boundries look like? Also PA's chime in on what boundries you may have set too! I know my husband had certain thing he did to allow for less chance of relapse. We found that some of my boundries were helpful to his success, like the cell phone example.
A boundry for me was no lying!- that was a deal breaker. If he relapsed we needed to talk about it. If I found out he did and was lying that was a deal breaker. The consequence was I move out and take the kids with me. We wouldn't divorce but we would legally separate. For me, that was the most important one.
So in an effort to help some of the new comers and some of us who have been around for a bit too, lol, what boundries have you ladies, and men started. I thought it would be helpful to list some of them and why to give partners an idea what that boundries look like? Also PA's chime in on what boundries you may have set too! I know my husband had certain thing he did to allow for less chance of relapse. We found that some of my boundries were helpful to his success, like the cell phone example.
A boundry for me was no lying!- that was a deal breaker. If he relapsed we needed to talk about it. If I found out he did and was lying that was a deal breaker. The consequence was I move out and take the kids with me. We wouldn't divorce but we would legally separate. For me, that was the most important one.