Journey of a 20 year old athlete with PIED

Feel free to comment and give advice! I would love to hear from everyone. Here is my story.

Currently on day 11 of my current no PMO streak. Plan on doing daily logs here at the end of my day from here on out. Today was a great day, especially  compared to yesterday, during which I was pretty sad due to my current situation with pied. I even had a pretty solid morning wood today. I am not an introverted person, I would say I am pretty good with girls and definitely have opportunities for sex often (and have failed many times the past year with different women) and for some reason I just broke down yesterday randomly feeling sorry for myself, I felt kinda bad wallowing in my own mess haha

My backstory is an interesting one, but probably not as unique as I would think. I am 20 years old, a college athlete, and I am also an intermediate/advanced weightlifter. 6'1, 200lb. I really hope my issue is porn related and not organically caused.

My porn use started as a child, probably around the age of 12, with just pictures of girls on the internet on my mom's computer late at night. To this day I remember how much those images used to arouse me. I never would say I watched porn endlessly multiple times, but it was a nightly event consistently up until recently when I discovered nofap. Throughout those porn-watching years, my tastes escalated, and eventually I started watching extremely disturbing genres of porn. I delved into shemale porn, and watched that material from about ages 17-19. In there somewhere a few times I watched animal porn, where dogs and horses would have sex with women. It was disgusting. This is not who I am, and I don't know why my tastes changed so much. Fast forward to being in college as a freshman, the time I "lost my virginity" was ridiculous. My penis literally did not budge. I found nofap, and instantly drastically reduced my consumption of pornography (maybe 5-6 times total over past year), and have seen gradual improvement, but still have ED over a year later. (longest streak 29 days).

I plan on doing a 90 day nofap hardmode challenge to hopefully overcome my erectile dysfunction. I will combine this with a daily light kegel routine and daily meditation. If by 90 days I am not fixed, I presume that porn is not the issue.

I remember my longest streak thusfar to be very confusing... It was during the summer when I was preoccupied with other things and keeping the streak was very easy, for a while. I had zero erections for quite a while, and very little drive at all until day 29. But day 29 felt like I was the horniest person on the planet. I had basically a nonstop erection and was SUPER sensitive, completely overnight. I literally could not resist the urge to masturbate and did so without pornography. Why is it that happened like it did? I don't really know.

Day 12. Definitely a solid day. Had very slight to nonexistant morning wood. Felt the standard, fairly asexual during the day, but my friend mentioned setting me up with a girl and the thought of that gave me a slight 40-50% chub. Made myself several good meals and socialized with friends today. The hardest part for me is definitely the no mastrubation part, and not the nofap part. Hell noporn is easy. I escalated with my tastes, thats what fucked me up, I think (hope)

Day 14. 2 weeks! (yay)

No morning wood today, but I felt sort of sexual in a way I haven't felt in a while in class. I looked at a girl who I found attractive and had a very strong feeling that if we were intimate that my plumbing would work (that sounds extremely odd but I don't know how else to describe it).I think progress is being made. Zero urges to fap or watch porn. Had a killer leg workout yesterday that left me dead and feeling amazing, all at the same time . Going to practice later tonight, and finish my work. Putting most of my energy right now into school and sport.

Day 15. Half a monthhhhh feeling uhmazing.
So this morning was weird, and I don't know whether to think of it as good or bad. I dreamt of my nofap journey in
a way. I had a dream and all I can remember was nutting inside a shemales butt (old fetish), and then being extremely saddened that I broke my own streak... Then I woke up. Literally with a diamond-hard morning wood in my pants. It may sound odd but I can't making this stuff up. The morning wood is very encouraging, lets me know that it is less likely my issue is physical, which would be terrible. Do you all have any thoughts on whether this day set me back?

Yo man, great to see you writing in so frequently. I really wish you luck... I'm in a similar situation, almost freakishly, just at 28yo. So at least you have a few years on your side.

Just a very short bio on me, I just started a 'no fap' journey 3/6... it was actually my doctor who made me realize my problem with sex wasn't physical, it was mental (too much with my hand, and stimulation from porn). I was freaking out it was something worse. I am a body builder, biker and kayak guy. I'm about 12lbs less than you, and a few inches shorter so likely we are similar body compositions.

A few things I've learned over the years since my doc told me of my issue, and I've gone on and off porn...
1. Things do get better, relatively quickly at our age range. Usually if I restrict from a week, things are great.
2. Try HARD to meditate, or to focus on mindfulness and not fear performance anxiety with girls. This takes practice...
3. Working out will help your sex drive, at least in my experience.
4. Nutrition is important, eat good food AND keep hydrated - I'm sure this is already practice for you as an athlete.

So, best of luck to you. I will be following your posts to see your progress.

sxt123 said:

Yo man, great to see you writing in so frequently. I really wish you luck... I'm in a similar situation, almost freakishly, just at 28yo. So at least you have a few years on your side.

Just a very short bio on me, I just started a 'no fap' journey 3/6... it was actually my doctor who made me realize my problem with sex wasn't physical, it was mental (too much with my hand, and stimulation from porn). I was freaking out it was something worse. I am a body builder, biker and kayak guy. I'm about 12lbs less than you, and a few inches shorter so likely we are similar body compositions.

A few things I've learned over the years since my doc told me of my issue, and I've gone on and off porn...
1. Things do get better, relatively quickly at our age range. Usually if I restrict from a week, things are great.
2. Try HARD to meditate, or to focus on mindfulness and not fear performance anxiety with girls. This takes practice...
3. Working out will help your sex drive, at least in my experience.
4. Nutrition is important, eat good food AND keep hydrated - I'm sure this is already practice for you as an athlete.

So, best of luck to you. I will be following your posts to see your progress.

Click to expand...

Thanks a lot man. Means a lot. I am currently still in the zero arousal or libido phase of things. Which is why I truly hope my problem isnt physical. I went 30 days straight nofap one time and literally on the last day I was the horniest I think anyone could possibly be, but other than that, nothing. I am probably very similar body composition to you, (11.3%bf on bioelectrical impedence test) so I am not fat by any means. My metabolism is also crazy fast, I have to eat high density shakes along with meals to maintain or gain weight. Meditation is something I need to get better at, have been off and on for a while now. Thanks so much for your input again!

Day 18.
Been a couple of days since I had posted here. Tonight I went out, and came back home with an international girl. She told me she didn't want to have sex, which was odd but for obvious reasons I liked that and totally understood. I would have tried to not finish if we did have sex to avoid pmo. For most of the time we were kissing and cuddling though I really did have a pretty big hard on. This is reassuring even though I still do not get very frequent natural or morning erections. I think slight progress is being made!
Happy times.

Day 19
No morning wood, dick feeling bigger though and like it has more life. I looked at a girl I really didn't even find very attractive today running track, and felt the bloodflow to my dick as I got a slight chub. This NEVER happens. So even though it was really nothing, feels pretty great .

I wish that I  could say I was here to other benefits of nofap... But I really just want to be able to have sex (lol). I have failed with way too many women I don't want to fail ever again if I can help it. I don't really feel addicted to porn at all, MO is a bit harder to resist especially on longer streaks like I am on right now. I am curious to see if at the month or so mark there is a day where I just become super turned on like in my previous record streak. Preparing for that moment and preparing to resist the urges. I think if I go through a period of consistent mw and feelings of horniness, it means some healing has occurred. I just need to stay in that phase and resist for as long as I can.

Day 21
Just woke up, doing this in the morning
Haven't had morning wood for the past few days, kind of annoying but I feel better in general
Libido is getting better, I just wish I could get consistent mw. That would be reassuring.

Day 22! PI DAY! Haha no one really cares and I don't either but free pies were handed out at school so I'm good

Had awesome mw this morning! It seems to pop up sometimes but not others. Libido still very low. I want to get to the point I used to be at where anything sexy turns me on. Big butts, normal stuff. Right now nothing really does except for full on sex and even then its very low arousal response. Hung out with that same girl a bit today, may try to rewire with her.