MY JOURNAL

Ever since I was younger I have struggled with porn. I often felt sheltered as a child and I did not start to really learn about sex until I was 18 years old. I believe that is part of the reason why I now still cannot shake the habit. I am about to be 35 years old and I have been married for 13 years. I love my wife and she knows my struggles but I still have them. I do not watch or look constantly but when I do I feel like I am in a trance. Does anyone else have that problem? It often comes when I am bored and I have nothing to keep my mind off it. Sometimes I am not even that aroused but I am doing it just to be doing it.

I am starting today "cold turkey." Does anyone have any advice for me?

Maybe this is a bad idea, but if your wife is really understanding, maybe you can try a chastity device!!

Ok. Wow. I haven't thought of that. I know you if my problem is that severe but that may not be a bad option. I really don't know much about those devices. Do you know of anybody that has tried that?

No experience or i don't know anybody who uses that. But i always thought if i ever went to an extreme that my relationships start going down, i will use this nuclear weapon

Thanks for the advice man but I think I will try some other things first. Right now I am in the process of identifying my triggers. Like today, I noticed that one of my triggers is anger. I got upset at work today and I almost gave in but I didn't. I got my mind busy on something else and then the thoughts didn't come back. It's only been one day but I am actually proud of it but I know that it is just going to get harder each day that passes by.

Good luck. We are all in the same boat

Hi, welcome to the site. I can relate to the "in a trance" feeling, it can be very frustrating. You're headed in the right direction in identifying your triggers. So far you have anger and boredom. Boredom and stress are a couple of mine. Once you have identified you're triggers start thinking of ways to avoid or counteract the triggers. Many people on here would recommend cold showers and excerise. Cold showers suck, but they help me. Sometimes triggers can't be avoided, no matter what you do. I have one trigger that I cannot avoid, what I do I to help me through those times is to have a proactive inner voice. We all have that inner voice that condemns ourselves when we give in, that is more of a reactive inner voice. I tell myself that I will have deal with the trigger and think about the reasons why I shouldn't give in. PMO is an addiction, it is a tough battle. It is hard to win a battle when you are always on the defensive (reactive), you have to go on the offensive to conquer this foe (proactive). I would suggest finding an accountability partner, they are very helpful. If you have a relapse (I don't think anyone hasn't had one) don't be discouraged, this is going to take time and a lot of effort. Hang in there, the struggle is worth the effort.

pro?ac?tive
    (of a person, policy, or action) creating or controlling a situation by causing something to happen rather than responding to it after it has happened.