Broadfield78
Member
Hi everyone, some may or may not recognise my username but i was on the forum maybe 6-12 months ago. I made some good initial progress and thought I had cracked this terrible addiction. I got up to day 18 and felt that it was easy, and started preaching to others that all was necessary was to use your brain to focus on more healthy things.
That?s true of course, but it?s not that easy!! And I should have listened more to the advice others were giving me in messages and on the forum.
I failed on Day 18 and have not got close to it again since. In fact the return to it after lapsing was more intense than before and has made me feel a lot worse. I have had some very long sessions of PMO, sometimes 7 hours at a time. I have also been out of work so these long sessions have often occurred day after day.
A week or so ago I completed another marathon session and afterwards felt physically exhausted. My stomach hurt, my penis was sore, and I just thought ?THIS HAS TO STOP? it is such a waste of time and is ruining my life. My relationship with my wife is great, but she doesn?t know about this dirty secret. I feel telling her would be selfish as the only reason for doing it is to ease the burden on ME and this is a problem of my own doing that I will put right with the support of the wonderful people on here
So here goes. Coming to you from Day 7 of no PMO or MO. Hoping this really is it this time. My new goals are as follows, and I am determined to meet them:
1) 19 days - this would be the longest I have ever gone without PMO in my (nearly) 40 years
2) 30 days - always been the marker I have wanted to achieve and would feel real progress
3) 90 days - the holy grail. 90 days to give my body and brain the chance to feel normal again? That would be truly amazing
4) 365 days - to end the first year of my 40s ?clean? would mean so much to me. I want my 40s to be the best 10 years of my life yet
That?s true of course, but it?s not that easy!! And I should have listened more to the advice others were giving me in messages and on the forum.
I failed on Day 18 and have not got close to it again since. In fact the return to it after lapsing was more intense than before and has made me feel a lot worse. I have had some very long sessions of PMO, sometimes 7 hours at a time. I have also been out of work so these long sessions have often occurred day after day.
A week or so ago I completed another marathon session and afterwards felt physically exhausted. My stomach hurt, my penis was sore, and I just thought ?THIS HAS TO STOP? it is such a waste of time and is ruining my life. My relationship with my wife is great, but she doesn?t know about this dirty secret. I feel telling her would be selfish as the only reason for doing it is to ease the burden on ME and this is a problem of my own doing that I will put right with the support of the wonderful people on here
So here goes. Coming to you from Day 7 of no PMO or MO. Hoping this really is it this time. My new goals are as follows, and I am determined to meet them:
1) 19 days - this would be the longest I have ever gone without PMO in my (nearly) 40 years
2) 30 days - always been the marker I have wanted to achieve and would feel real progress
3) 90 days - the holy grail. 90 days to give my body and brain the chance to feel normal again? That would be truly amazing
4) 365 days - to end the first year of my 40s ?clean? would mean so much to me. I want my 40s to be the best 10 years of my life yet