C
confused_wife12
Guest
Hi all. My husband and I are in our mid-twenties and have been together for 2 years and married for 3 months. The first time we had sex he admitted to me that he had never been able to orgasm during intercourse, only through hand or blow jobs (mainly blow jobs). He said he was born premature and the nerves in his penis needed more stimulation then regular men. He was also born partially blind and with bad ankles. At first I was a bit uneasy, but I really liked him and knew I could handle the situation and maybe even try to be the first woman he has an orgasm with during sex...soooo...Challenge Accepted. I knew he watched alot of porn and I had too, on occasion, so we would watch it together. I noticed that he was very picky with it and it would take a while to actually have fun because he kept changing the video. He was able to orgasm once during sex and once during anal (i know tmi, but its part of the story) but almost every other time I had to give him a blow job to finish him off. I got pretty good at them and know what he likes so it was fine. As time went on it got to the point where I was down there for freakin 50 minutes before he taps me on the shoulder and says its not happening tonight.. This started happening alot. It followed with me being depressed and him being really quiet and a little rude. Since its happened so many times I've decided to not let him see my disappointment, anger, or lack of confidence. I act like its ok and we'll try again next time..But really it kills me. I hate not being able to satisfy my husband. I even let him watch porn on his phone while I give him a blow job so that it'll help him orgasm. But once again I'm down there for an hour because he cant pick a freakin porno to get off to. It was only recently that I found something out about my husband that I didn't know. Every morning he's in the bathroom for forever. I used to think it was because he has stomach issues and it takes him a while to poo, but no... he was just masturbating every morning. I usually would sleep in while he went to the bathroom but lately I've been getting up early with him and one morning I walked by the bathroom door and heard him jerking off. We keep out lube in the bathroom so I could hear those noises..You can't mistake those noises...I'm not stupid, I know he masturbates, sometimes I've watched (we're a little kinky). I masturbate as well and it can be a healthy thing, but I'm starting to worry that maybe he can't get off because he masturbates too much or is too used to watching porn. He used to masturbate alot like any teenage boy. The first time he had sex was when he found out he couldn't orgasm and since then I'm the only one he was able to do it with through intercourse (once). Why was he able to orgasm through vaginal and anal intercourse once, but never again? Was it just more exciting trying anal so of course he would explode? Was my vagina especially tight the day he was able to orgasm in it? I just don't know. The sex hasn't been amazing lately..It just seems like hes doing it to get me off then when I try to get him off he can't cum. He's even rejected me 4 times over the course of 2 weeks. Three of those times included me dressed in sexy lingerie with the new boobs (got some larger boobs for self confidence reasons)! Each one of those days I know he jerked off because its part of his morning routine. So he can jerk off fine, but wont have sex with me? I have tried numerous things to help him orgasm. I started trying prostate massages and that actually helped a lot, but recently he hasn't been into it. (obviously that's not an every day thing you do)
The only time I've questioned his health issues was when I started getting really frustrated that he couldn't orgasm so I researched online and saw that alot of masturbation and porn can do that to someone. He does those things, but also says that because he was a preme his penis doesn't work like others. He got mad at me for questioning the masturbation bit and said that masturbation is good for men and that it helps them be more sexual. Like I said before, I don't mind the masturbating, but I do mind that I'm laying in bed, naked and willing and he chooses his hand and some porn over me. It hurts and I don't know how to talk to him about it without him getting upset and embarrassed.
I realize that this is a flippen long post, but I just need to get it all out. I can't speak to my friends about this because of how personal it is to him and me. I know that me having self confidence issues doesn't exactly help how I feel. I know I'm attractive and I know from past relationships that I am good in bed and what not, but with my husband I feel like its the first time I've ever done anything. I'm so nervous that he wont be able to get hard or that he wont orgasm and its in the back of my head every time I initiate sex. Oh, I probably should have mentioned that he sometimes can't keep a boner and sometimes can't even get it up. That obviously hits me pretty hard and makes me think I'm not hot enough or good enough, when really I know its his problem not mine. That's something I have to remind myself of and he has said it to me as well. Anyway, I'm sorry for such a long post. I don't expect an answer to all of my questions since this is kind of a unique issue (premature bit) but it does feel good to finally let this out and feel heard. So thanks for that..
I should probably add that this issue has caused me to want attention from other men. I know this is wrong and I don't do anything, but I think about it. Also, all of 3 of 4 of his ex's cheated on him. I'm not sure if it was related to his issue or not, but I'm starting to see how it could.
The only time I've questioned his health issues was when I started getting really frustrated that he couldn't orgasm so I researched online and saw that alot of masturbation and porn can do that to someone. He does those things, but also says that because he was a preme his penis doesn't work like others. He got mad at me for questioning the masturbation bit and said that masturbation is good for men and that it helps them be more sexual. Like I said before, I don't mind the masturbating, but I do mind that I'm laying in bed, naked and willing and he chooses his hand and some porn over me. It hurts and I don't know how to talk to him about it without him getting upset and embarrassed.
I realize that this is a flippen long post, but I just need to get it all out. I can't speak to my friends about this because of how personal it is to him and me. I know that me having self confidence issues doesn't exactly help how I feel. I know I'm attractive and I know from past relationships that I am good in bed and what not, but with my husband I feel like its the first time I've ever done anything. I'm so nervous that he wont be able to get hard or that he wont orgasm and its in the back of my head every time I initiate sex. Oh, I probably should have mentioned that he sometimes can't keep a boner and sometimes can't even get it up. That obviously hits me pretty hard and makes me think I'm not hot enough or good enough, when really I know its his problem not mine. That's something I have to remind myself of and he has said it to me as well. Anyway, I'm sorry for such a long post. I don't expect an answer to all of my questions since this is kind of a unique issue (premature bit) but it does feel good to finally let this out and feel heard. So thanks for that..
I should probably add that this issue has caused me to want attention from other men. I know this is wrong and I don't do anything, but I think about it. Also, all of 3 of 4 of his ex's cheated on him. I'm not sure if it was related to his issue or not, but I'm starting to see how it could.
