First day of no porn, and no fap: 9th January 2019.
Here goes, first diary, even though I started a version of this program some time ago.
Here's a short story about me:
32 yo male, from Hungary, now living in Ireland. As any young adult I know, porn has been a seriously integrated part of my life. Ever since I was a kid even, porn, and anything in relation was there for the taking, and boy I did take everything I could get my hands on. This also resulted in a lot of self pleasure which in turn made ma anxcious, shy, and always uneasy in social interactions of any kind.
First I got into contact with this idea about 2010-2011. I've met a woman who was teaching penis control; a way to not only solve the ED problem for men, but also to control and enjoy sex to an unimaginable extent. By that time I've stopped all porn and self pleasuring activity for 2-3 months, and the training boosted me in every possible way.
After that my first girlfriend came around, and I've had the best sex I could remember for years. The program stopped however for me, and I started to watch this and that every now and then.
With my last girlfriend in Ireland it was the same. We've had good sex, but still, my mind always turned me to "something more". Ridiculous, really, now that I look back at it. But also, I feel that I felt entirely alone with this. I didn't know of Reboot Nation, or any other source where people can find any kind of support.
The turning point was reached now after I've watched a porn addiction presentation from TED talks. It was mind blowing, specifically the part that explains how our brain activity degenerates in this sense. Scary stuff, and for me, also eye-opening.
So, here I am now. 9th January, 2019. I'm counting every day because, frankly speaking, I do feel more and more vigor, and I start to feel a bit supernatural at times; looking at women in a different way, feeling much more aware as before, and somehow my mental fitness also got boosted to new levels. Yet, it's only 18 days. 18 days more though, than last time.
No porn, no self pleasuring. Maybe a little bit of dreaming lately, and some instagram nipples flashing up. I have to admit that was something I tried to look for, but I realized what I'm doing and didn't go searching for more. I try to keep it together. I can do it. I know I can, since I've done so many steps in my life others consider extreme and crazy. I believe in myself, and only hope to enjoy life to it's fullest. All comments are welcome, and thank you for being here, and reading my scribble.
Here's the template.
_________________________________________________
Did I use porn today? - No
What were my triggers? - sadness, loneliness, water
How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? - nowadays I use a closing technique. I focus on my lower belly, trying to pull it in entirely, close my eyes, visualize a big black courtain going in fron of all my fantasies, and breating in through the nose, and out the mouth. Works after a couple of minutes tops.
What am I grateful for today? - This site, the chance I can write about this, the great opportunities I have in life.
Day counter! - 18th day!!!
Here goes, first diary, even though I started a version of this program some time ago.
Here's a short story about me:
32 yo male, from Hungary, now living in Ireland. As any young adult I know, porn has been a seriously integrated part of my life. Ever since I was a kid even, porn, and anything in relation was there for the taking, and boy I did take everything I could get my hands on. This also resulted in a lot of self pleasure which in turn made ma anxcious, shy, and always uneasy in social interactions of any kind.
First I got into contact with this idea about 2010-2011. I've met a woman who was teaching penis control; a way to not only solve the ED problem for men, but also to control and enjoy sex to an unimaginable extent. By that time I've stopped all porn and self pleasuring activity for 2-3 months, and the training boosted me in every possible way.
After that my first girlfriend came around, and I've had the best sex I could remember for years. The program stopped however for me, and I started to watch this and that every now and then.
With my last girlfriend in Ireland it was the same. We've had good sex, but still, my mind always turned me to "something more". Ridiculous, really, now that I look back at it. But also, I feel that I felt entirely alone with this. I didn't know of Reboot Nation, or any other source where people can find any kind of support.
The turning point was reached now after I've watched a porn addiction presentation from TED talks. It was mind blowing, specifically the part that explains how our brain activity degenerates in this sense. Scary stuff, and for me, also eye-opening.
So, here I am now. 9th January, 2019. I'm counting every day because, frankly speaking, I do feel more and more vigor, and I start to feel a bit supernatural at times; looking at women in a different way, feeling much more aware as before, and somehow my mental fitness also got boosted to new levels. Yet, it's only 18 days. 18 days more though, than last time.
No porn, no self pleasuring. Maybe a little bit of dreaming lately, and some instagram nipples flashing up. I have to admit that was something I tried to look for, but I realized what I'm doing and didn't go searching for more. I try to keep it together. I can do it. I know I can, since I've done so many steps in my life others consider extreme and crazy. I believe in myself, and only hope to enjoy life to it's fullest. All comments are welcome, and thank you for being here, and reading my scribble.
Here's the template.
_________________________________________________
Did I use porn today? - No
What were my triggers? - sadness, loneliness, water
How did I soothe my anxiety or stress? - nowadays I use a closing technique. I focus on my lower belly, trying to pull it in entirely, close my eyes, visualize a big black courtain going in fron of all my fantasies, and breating in through the nose, and out the mouth. Works after a couple of minutes tops.
What am I grateful for today? - This site, the chance I can write about this, the great opportunities I have in life.
Day counter! - 18th day!!!
