RecoveryJunkie
Active Member
Hello ladies,
I have been dating this beautiful woman for about three months. Very early on in our relationship I told her about my PA and issues with PIED, about a week or two after statring dating her. She was obviously quite shocked at first but decided to be suportive with my recovery. i explained to her what rebooting was all about, hardmode. 90 days of no porn, masterbating or orgasming. I have not watched porn or masterbated to orgasm in 87 days.
We actually hit it off very well in the start and started developping feelings for each other but things started changing for her a few weeks ago after we made love for the first time and later that night she woke up and found me trying to masterbate in my sleep, I have no recollection of this and she also believes I was sleeping. At first she said nothing of this but I noticed something wasnt right so I asked her what was going on. She told me what happened and mentioned the incident which happened two nights in a row and also the fact that I had orgasmed a few times within the 90 days. I also used viagra once to see if it would help me come out of flatline but it didn't help and she was upset that I had taken Viagra without talking to her about it first which is understandable but it didn't occure to me to tell her at the time. She said all this made her confused and she felt she wanted some time to herself to think things out. She has often told me that it's ok with her that I am not able to get hard but I tried to explain that it is very frustrating for me as a man to not be able to function properly.
Iinitially I was very scarred to loose her, I was also frustrated because I just regained my ability to have sex. I really like her alot but when she told me that she wanted to slow things down I got very fearful and started hating how I felt completely powerless and controlled by the fear. This lasted about a week and although I still feel some fear it is not an impending doom feeling and I know whatever happends is not going to set me off and I am dealing with my issues in healthy ways like seeing a therapist and excercising regularly and eating well.
We havent talked much over the last few weeks but tonight I stopped by her place and I told her of my progress despite the break. She was polite but quiet and when I asked her what was on her mind she said she doesn't want to talk about my recovery anymore.
I know we have feelings for one another and I want to move forward but it has gotten so awkward I often don't know what to do or say anymore. I'd like some sensible feedback from a woman's perspective. I will not to loose hope for recovery, I know I will beat this with or without her but I very much want her in my life.
I have been dating this beautiful woman for about three months. Very early on in our relationship I told her about my PA and issues with PIED, about a week or two after statring dating her. She was obviously quite shocked at first but decided to be suportive with my recovery. i explained to her what rebooting was all about, hardmode. 90 days of no porn, masterbating or orgasming. I have not watched porn or masterbated to orgasm in 87 days.
We actually hit it off very well in the start and started developping feelings for each other but things started changing for her a few weeks ago after we made love for the first time and later that night she woke up and found me trying to masterbate in my sleep, I have no recollection of this and she also believes I was sleeping. At first she said nothing of this but I noticed something wasnt right so I asked her what was going on. She told me what happened and mentioned the incident which happened two nights in a row and also the fact that I had orgasmed a few times within the 90 days. I also used viagra once to see if it would help me come out of flatline but it didn't help and she was upset that I had taken Viagra without talking to her about it first which is understandable but it didn't occure to me to tell her at the time. She said all this made her confused and she felt she wanted some time to herself to think things out. She has often told me that it's ok with her that I am not able to get hard but I tried to explain that it is very frustrating for me as a man to not be able to function properly.
Iinitially I was very scarred to loose her, I was also frustrated because I just regained my ability to have sex. I really like her alot but when she told me that she wanted to slow things down I got very fearful and started hating how I felt completely powerless and controlled by the fear. This lasted about a week and although I still feel some fear it is not an impending doom feeling and I know whatever happends is not going to set me off and I am dealing with my issues in healthy ways like seeing a therapist and excercising regularly and eating well.
We havent talked much over the last few weeks but tonight I stopped by her place and I told her of my progress despite the break. She was polite but quiet and when I asked her what was on her mind she said she doesn't want to talk about my recovery anymore.
I know we have feelings for one another and I want to move forward but it has gotten so awkward I often don't know what to do or say anymore. I'd like some sensible feedback from a woman's perspective. I will not to loose hope for recovery, I know I will beat this with or without her but I very much want her in my life.