Hi all.
I'm a married guy with two children; I am a Christian. I joined up to this last autumn and managed nearly two months porn and chat-room free. Then my stepmum died and in the stress (and in the three nights in my dad's house away from my wife and kids) I relapsed.
And I relapsed hard. To the point where I had two women who both wanted to meet me for sex: one of whom I was actually due to meet tomorrow, and one of whom I was due to meet next month.
Anyway, last Thursday I had a Facebook message out of the blue from a girl I'd previously cheated on my wife with. (Back-story: we met on a chat room in late 2013, slept together in early 2014, got found out later that year). I'd lied so much to this girl - I'd essentially catfished her, using a different name, withholding my marital status... and she has been ruminating over the past couple of years on how much hurt I've caused her.
I've apologised, profusely, and I'm hoping that this is the end of it. I did a horrible thing back then and I'm gutted that I allowed it to spill into real life and cause her real hurt.
So that's it for the chat rooms. The porn was never so much of an issue - it was more of a chaser when I couldn't find anyone to chat with.
Anyway, I'd really appreciate your help with
(a) conquering the feelings of guilt, shame and fear which now plague me;
(b) making sure that I kick this habit into the grass for the rest of my living days.
In a way, I'm thinking that these feelings of guilt and shame are healthy to an extent as they're galvanising my brain into staying away from anything that might damage my relationship with my wife. Also I'm wondering whether there was a degree of God-given timing to her message: it was a painful message to receive but if it's served to protect me from further unfaithfulness then it's no bad thing.
I'm a married guy with two children; I am a Christian. I joined up to this last autumn and managed nearly two months porn and chat-room free. Then my stepmum died and in the stress (and in the three nights in my dad's house away from my wife and kids) I relapsed.
And I relapsed hard. To the point where I had two women who both wanted to meet me for sex: one of whom I was actually due to meet tomorrow, and one of whom I was due to meet next month.
Anyway, last Thursday I had a Facebook message out of the blue from a girl I'd previously cheated on my wife with. (Back-story: we met on a chat room in late 2013, slept together in early 2014, got found out later that year). I'd lied so much to this girl - I'd essentially catfished her, using a different name, withholding my marital status... and she has been ruminating over the past couple of years on how much hurt I've caused her.
I've apologised, profusely, and I'm hoping that this is the end of it. I did a horrible thing back then and I'm gutted that I allowed it to spill into real life and cause her real hurt.
So that's it for the chat rooms. The porn was never so much of an issue - it was more of a chaser when I couldn't find anyone to chat with.
Anyway, I'd really appreciate your help with
(a) conquering the feelings of guilt, shame and fear which now plague me;
(b) making sure that I kick this habit into the grass for the rest of my living days.
In a way, I'm thinking that these feelings of guilt and shame are healthy to an extent as they're galvanising my brain into staying away from anything that might damage my relationship with my wife. Also I'm wondering whether there was a degree of God-given timing to her message: it was a painful message to receive but if it's served to protect me from further unfaithfulness then it's no bad thing.