njack2015 said:
I've stayed clean for about a month and seem to be in a constant flatline; no labido, no interest in sex, no interest in women, nothing. But I reckon I will take a while to heal due to the number of years my brain has been rewired.
Hi njack2015,
I think my recovery will take a while as well as I have had problems with ED since the age of 13 and been heavily watching porn since before then. It can be scary when you have no libido, and you went up wanting to fap just to prove that you can still get aroused. Well done on the 37 days, stay strong and keep going.
igetum said:
Your experience with women seems to have a similarity with mine. Though I started sex late (18 years). After two three failures, I have avoided women and sex like plague.
Hi igetum,
I have actually been in quite a few long term relationships despite my ED. During my teens I had sexual partners from the age of 13, but couldn't have sex because of my ED, however I found it possible to get erect for handjobs. I then lost my virginity at 19, but it was a disappointing experience and I constantly had trouble getting or staying hard for vaginal sex. After a while I started to rewire more and more for sexual acts though.
I got into another relationship in my early 20s and went back to struggling with ED a lot, however we kept persisting and eventually I rewired, and had pretty great sex with this girlfriend for about a year, although I had ED when she went on top.
I eventually broke up with her, and had a girlfriend 3 years ago, and I went to the doctor and got prescribed viagra, so managed to have a lot of sex with her, but I didn't tell her I was taking it and I felt guilty and ashamed. I was also dealing with psychosis and depression by this point, which I also didn't tell her about, so our relationship eventually broke down through a lack of trust.
I count myself lucky to have had the experiences I have had, but I don't want to go through a painful rewiring at the beginning of a relationship again, I am not sure I would be lucky enough to find another girl who was as patient as my ex. I also don't want to take viagra again, for me it took away some of the sentimentality away from the intimacy.
NeverSurrender said:
Hey man, I just want to say I am cured of PIED and if you go back and read my posts you can see how shitty it can be. I just want you to know it is 100% possible to fix and if you stay at it and stick through the flatline you WILL make it. Good luck.
Hi, NeverSurrender,
I will check out your journal and see if I can inspire myself. I'm having a hard day of it today. I couldn't sleep last night and threw up at 4am this morning. I've been feeling weird, angry, anxious, and stressed today and keep thinking about looking at porn and getting mental imagery all the time. This is a tough one.