Thoughts of Peace Not of Calamity

Hello all, I am very thankful that I found this forum because I have been a PMOer for a long time. Over 40 years! I started with porn mags I would find. Then I would buy them. Later I started renting videos to watch on my VCR.

When I got my first computer I couldn?t believe now I could get free porn. I think it took several minutes just to download one picture. I was viewing porn more often now but I don?t think it had a hold on me yet.

But  something drastically changed when I found a ?tube site? where I could find all kinds of free porn and watch it instantly. This changed everything. I would stay up for hours PMOing. It was starting to affect my work and my social life was dead. I knew that I had to stop so I quit, I tried and failed many times.
Now I have no doubt I am totally addicted to PMO. I have desperately tried to stop on my own for years.

Welcome friend! Thank you for so courageously and honestly sharing your story. You've made a very good start. I look forward to following your journey. I found daily posts during early reboot really helped me remain clean and sober from my porn-masturbation-orgasm (PMO) addiction. PORN IS NOT AN OPTION. 

lyon03 said:

Welcome friend! Thank you for so courageously and honestly sharing your story. You've made a very good start. I look forward to following your journey. I found daily posts during early reboot really helped me remain clean and sober from my porn-masturbation-orgasm (PMO) addiction. PORN IS NOT AN OPTION. 

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Thank you lyon03 for the kind, encouraging words! I will try to fallow your advice on daily posting to help beat this PMO addiction.

90,
Your first post already speaks of significant maturity and thoughtfulness. This alone puts you in a very good position for success.
I would say being kind to yourself and having great interest in yourself is probably the most important of all.
Success from addiction is never simply about abstinence. Its about replacing the addiction with something much greater, that of self love.
When you are fully invested and interested in your self development, your focus easily shifts towards behavior and habits beneficial to you.

To love yourself properly requires you to first know yourself. So spend that time knowing all your thoughts and emotions. Ride through them without distraction or denial. Be your own best friend.

You will succeed my friend.

Last night after watching a TV show I wanted to check this Reboot forum out. It was around 11pm and I was tired and up by myself. I got on the laptop and started getting an excited feeling. Then an idea, hey I want to see what actress ___ looks like now. Then I realized my heart was beating faster in anticipation. I knew I was going in the wrong direction. So I closed it and went to bed. I laid there and felt a strong urge for about 5 min. I just started meditating and it slowly went away. I am 100% sure if I would have stayed on the internet I would have PMO. It is so easy --scary. But just as easy to make a choice to go to bed also.

Last night woke up 2 times all horny from erotic dreams. Can't do anything with my wife right now because it is that "time". I just tried to keep my hands off and went back to sleep. I think it was from the porn I watched a few days ago.

Stayed busy today. Was feeling very depressed the whole morning. But I did not have any urges to PMO. Wow that's strange, but I am thankful!

Thanks for sharing my friend. Perhaps your addict self didn't like K9 because it was too effective? Food for thought my friend. Please keep coming back and sharing. PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.

Good on you for making it through the weekend without PMO. You wrote: "The last 6 days I have been dealing with mood swings, anxiety, depression and a bad back ache My brains coping technique was the same as always; an urge to use PMO to relieve my discomfort and make me feel good. I know that does not fix anything but makes things worse, including my back ache from sitting so long at the computer" This sounds familiar and a lot like the withdrawal I started to feel, but mine started around the three-week mark if I'm remembering correctly. It does eventually get better my friend. I look forward to your next post/update. PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.

90,
there's always more than one way to look at the same thing.
dont fault yourself because you were seeking ways of self improvement

what that guy said may be true maybe false.
when i was super clear, i thought porn girls were silly
when i was super horned, every gal could turn me on.
same guy, same visuals, different time, different reactions.

what i'm trying to say is, make every lesson count.
learn from it
because in learning you understand yourself better.

we're only human.
I also slipped several times along the way.
but each time i know myself better.
and with every new learning i have a little something more to guard me better.

if you've learnt something from this experience, then stop punishing yourself.
instead, give yourself a pat in the back !
you've done good !
because you've learnt a new way not to do in the future !

love yourself my friend
not every bad thing is bad
not every good thing is good
its how you see and learn from it... and i think you've done good this time.
dont be so hard on yourself