It's never too late to improve yourself, right? I have tried and failed at this task before. About 5 years ago I made a vow to leave porn behind. I lasted about a month and finally rationalized at the time that I was not going to be able to change my stripes. Five more years of downward spiral has brought me here. I need help. I am completely unproductive. If only I could........
I began my journey of awakening and masturbation (12yrs old?) in the usual way in the age of playboy magazines. Incredible thrills as I recall. Not really able to have much of a collection until around 18. From 18 on I always had a nice stack of mags to fantasize to. This was, of course, very secretive but looking back I'm sure everybody did it. No problems with erections if i was able to scare up a live encounter 4-5 times a year. (no gf until maybe 30). I would also rent vhs tapes from the adult store. Probably began that around age 25. With the tapes, it began to take longer and longer to achieve orgasm. Didn't really bother me at the time but it was indeed noticeable. GF came and went quickly. Porn/ masturbation continues until around age 40. Found a girl and decided to get married. Figured I'd dump the porn and switch to live sex. No prob, right? Wrong. Enter erectile difficulties. Wife, looking back, never was a trooper about it. Just made me feel worse by rolling over. Whatever. Computers came into our lives and I discovered online soft core. Awesome. Felt like heroin. Sex with wife was on life support. I recall feeling such Incredible guilt when I looked online at images. I was diagnosed with a depression. Prescribed SSRI antidepressant. Turns out it worked great for depression but caused my already delayed orgasm to delay further (like an hour or more). Ridiculous. Now I'm limpdick, can't come, wife doesn't understand. After 15 yrs sexless marriage we get divorced. Now I'm sitting at home alone with my computer for the past 8 years. Hours of porn surfing and taking hours to masturbate to orgasm. I need cialis to masturbate!!
I am going to begin with a classic reboot. possibly look for in person support at saa. I hope to bond and grow with you fine people as well. Thanks for listening!
I began my journey of awakening and masturbation (12yrs old?) in the usual way in the age of playboy magazines. Incredible thrills as I recall. Not really able to have much of a collection until around 18. From 18 on I always had a nice stack of mags to fantasize to. This was, of course, very secretive but looking back I'm sure everybody did it. No problems with erections if i was able to scare up a live encounter 4-5 times a year. (no gf until maybe 30). I would also rent vhs tapes from the adult store. Probably began that around age 25. With the tapes, it began to take longer and longer to achieve orgasm. Didn't really bother me at the time but it was indeed noticeable. GF came and went quickly. Porn/ masturbation continues until around age 40. Found a girl and decided to get married. Figured I'd dump the porn and switch to live sex. No prob, right? Wrong. Enter erectile difficulties. Wife, looking back, never was a trooper about it. Just made me feel worse by rolling over. Whatever. Computers came into our lives and I discovered online soft core. Awesome. Felt like heroin. Sex with wife was on life support. I recall feeling such Incredible guilt when I looked online at images. I was diagnosed with a depression. Prescribed SSRI antidepressant. Turns out it worked great for depression but caused my already delayed orgasm to delay further (like an hour or more). Ridiculous. Now I'm limpdick, can't come, wife doesn't understand. After 15 yrs sexless marriage we get divorced. Now I'm sitting at home alone with my computer for the past 8 years. Hours of porn surfing and taking hours to masturbate to orgasm. I need cialis to masturbate!!
I am going to begin with a classic reboot. possibly look for in person support at saa. I hope to bond and grow with you fine people as well. Thanks for listening!