I?ve studied and researched ayahuasca for some years now and I believe that having that experience can help heal my mind, soul and hopefully my body. My flatline is having a devastating effect on my mind and my relationship. Although I believe this will help my recovery I don?t believe that it will magically cure me. What?s everyone?s thoughts?
Thinking of ayahuasca ceremony to help with healing
- Thread starter Steve4866
- Start date
mcube
Member
I am also having the same thoughts as well. It's like the brain needs to have a reset button and one of the ways to do it so to have a emotional and physical experience like ayahuasca, which will no doubt aid in the recovery process. I am planning to go to south east asia for at least 3 months and live like a monk in the mountains away from every screen, people, women etc. Anything that will give the mind a boost, a refreshing experience, spiritual experience will no doubt aid the healing of the mind.
StefanMicus
Member
Hello,
As a succesful rebooter, I took ayahusaca in the beginning of my journey. In the following lines, I will tell you all about my reboot and ayahusca journey.
I started watching Porn at age 11-12, not stopping until I was around 25 years old. I had PIED ever since I was a teenager. I was never able to have sex, I had very low libido, I had a huge anal fetish, wish led me to use dildos on myself (Aldo Ive never been gay nor have ever felt sexually or emotionally attracted to men in real life).
During my teenage years I suffered from a lot of bullying and I lived in a house with no love. So I always felt really alone. Porn was a way out.
At age 24-25 I started to be more social, go out with ladies. I suffered froem PIED with firls around 4 times in 2 years. ITtdevastated me, I didnt know what was wrong with me. I coulve been able to be with very beautiful women, but my body didnt work.
The most painful experiencie was when I met a beautiful girl at age 24, we dated for around 2 months. She was gorgeous, from a movie. We had an incredible chemistry, we were crazy for each other.
But, on the night I invited her over, I was not able to perform. Furthermore, I freezed! Instead of talking to her about it, I just stayed quiet and acted like I was sleep. It was really awful. Of course she felt it. After that, she told me she didnt want to go out with anymore.
That completely destroyed me. I was thinking seriously about killing myself. I wrote a paper of reasons to stay alive and die, that I keep to this day as a reminder of how low I was. (FYI: I was still watching porn regularly, I didnt know about NO PMO)
Thats when I decided to take ayahuasca.
I payed for 2 sessions in the forests of Chile.
Before taking ayahuasca, I asked in a piece of paper that I wanted to know what was wrong with me sexually, why couldnt I perform. Why was I 25 years old and never been in love, etc... Thats what I wanted to know. That is what I asked mother ayahuasca.
The first night, the ayahusaca tried to give me all the love that I'd never felt, from my mother and women in general. It showed a lot of naked women, devil like women, trying to have sex with me. I kind of freaked out, I didnt let the experience flow and I blocked it.
I fought the whole night against the experience.
The morning after, while we were in a circle telling about our experiences, I told about mine.
I realized that hat had happened to me during the experience was what I had been doing my whole life.
I rejected the love of ayahuasca, as I had been doing my whole life. Ayahuasca tried to heal me, to give me the love I had never felt. But I did not accept it because I thought I was no wirthy of it, because I hated myself so much for all the things I had done to myself: losing women & opportunities to love, not defending myself against bullies, not followwing my heart, studying a carrer I hated... etc..
I cried in front of everyone like a litte child. Thats when the chaman told all the girls to hold me in a circle... to receive all the femenine love that I'd never felt in my life. (My mother nver gave me love, she has always been very rigid, tense, etc...)
It was beautiful and very freeing. Also, someone heared my story (ED, etc...) and told me that I should start stop watching porn, because it takes away your sexual energy.
After that, I had no fear left in me, so I entered the 2nd night with a whole different mindset. I let the experience flow, I just felt, not thinking at all, not having any expectations. I felt beeing reborn, been in mother natures arms (Pachamama). I woke up the next day feeling like never before. Totally free, no fears, only love. It was an amazaing feeling. I felt reborn.
It was really good...but it did not healed my PIED. Only 5 months later I found out about PIED and Porn side effects.
I stopped wathicng porn in february 2017.... and it was in July 2017 that I met my first girlfriend. I as able to have sex with her. We were together for only 9 monhts, but they were the best of my life. I lost her because I did not deared to open myself emotionally to her.... I never told her I loved her...I was too afraid of love to be honest.
Thats what I am working on right now... letting love into my life. Loving myself, building my character. It is not easy, specially when you found out that I once again, lost another beautiful woman, It was only my fault, no one elses.
I still got a lot to learn.
That's it.... ayahuasca will show you the root of your pain, Porn its just the tip of the iceberg...We use porn to hide our fears and pains. My deepest problem was and still is the lack of love, to myself and others. The fear of opening up and let life flow.
Hope you have a great experience.
You can contact me if you like for further information and advices
As a succesful rebooter, I took ayahusaca in the beginning of my journey. In the following lines, I will tell you all about my reboot and ayahusca journey.
I started watching Porn at age 11-12, not stopping until I was around 25 years old. I had PIED ever since I was a teenager. I was never able to have sex, I had very low libido, I had a huge anal fetish, wish led me to use dildos on myself (Aldo Ive never been gay nor have ever felt sexually or emotionally attracted to men in real life).
During my teenage years I suffered from a lot of bullying and I lived in a house with no love. So I always felt really alone. Porn was a way out.
At age 24-25 I started to be more social, go out with ladies. I suffered froem PIED with firls around 4 times in 2 years. ITtdevastated me, I didnt know what was wrong with me. I coulve been able to be with very beautiful women, but my body didnt work.
The most painful experiencie was when I met a beautiful girl at age 24, we dated for around 2 months. She was gorgeous, from a movie. We had an incredible chemistry, we were crazy for each other.
But, on the night I invited her over, I was not able to perform. Furthermore, I freezed! Instead of talking to her about it, I just stayed quiet and acted like I was sleep. It was really awful. Of course she felt it. After that, she told me she didnt want to go out with anymore.
That completely destroyed me. I was thinking seriously about killing myself. I wrote a paper of reasons to stay alive and die, that I keep to this day as a reminder of how low I was. (FYI: I was still watching porn regularly, I didnt know about NO PMO)
Thats when I decided to take ayahuasca.
I payed for 2 sessions in the forests of Chile.
Before taking ayahuasca, I asked in a piece of paper that I wanted to know what was wrong with me sexually, why couldnt I perform. Why was I 25 years old and never been in love, etc... Thats what I wanted to know. That is what I asked mother ayahuasca.
The first night, the ayahusaca tried to give me all the love that I'd never felt, from my mother and women in general. It showed a lot of naked women, devil like women, trying to have sex with me. I kind of freaked out, I didnt let the experience flow and I blocked it.
I fought the whole night against the experience.
The morning after, while we were in a circle telling about our experiences, I told about mine.
I realized that hat had happened to me during the experience was what I had been doing my whole life.
I rejected the love of ayahuasca, as I had been doing my whole life. Ayahuasca tried to heal me, to give me the love I had never felt. But I did not accept it because I thought I was no wirthy of it, because I hated myself so much for all the things I had done to myself: losing women & opportunities to love, not defending myself against bullies, not followwing my heart, studying a carrer I hated... etc..
I cried in front of everyone like a litte child. Thats when the chaman told all the girls to hold me in a circle... to receive all the femenine love that I'd never felt in my life. (My mother nver gave me love, she has always been very rigid, tense, etc...)
It was beautiful and very freeing. Also, someone heared my story (ED, etc...) and told me that I should start stop watching porn, because it takes away your sexual energy.
After that, I had no fear left in me, so I entered the 2nd night with a whole different mindset. I let the experience flow, I just felt, not thinking at all, not having any expectations. I felt beeing reborn, been in mother natures arms (Pachamama). I woke up the next day feeling like never before. Totally free, no fears, only love. It was an amazaing feeling. I felt reborn.
It was really good...but it did not healed my PIED. Only 5 months later I found out about PIED and Porn side effects.
I stopped wathicng porn in february 2017.... and it was in July 2017 that I met my first girlfriend. I as able to have sex with her. We were together for only 9 monhts, but they were the best of my life. I lost her because I did not deared to open myself emotionally to her.... I never told her I loved her...I was too afraid of love to be honest.
Thats what I am working on right now... letting love into my life. Loving myself, building my character. It is not easy, specially when you found out that I once again, lost another beautiful woman, It was only my fault, no one elses.
I still got a lot to learn.
That's it.... ayahuasca will show you the root of your pain, Porn its just the tip of the iceberg...We use porn to hide our fears and pains. My deepest problem was and still is the lack of love, to myself and others. The fear of opening up and let life flow.
Hope you have a great experience.
You can contact me if you like for further information and advices