Changing view of sex/loss of fetishes after rebooting

Finw? · Aug 24, 2018

This is just a bunch of quotes from rebooters I found about experiencing sex differently after giving up porn.

Sources: YBOP - Reddit.com/r/nofap - Nofap.com

I'm not even turned on by porn anymore. You could show me the hottest porn ever made and I would just laugh at it. Seriously. Same thing with all my fetishes and weird obsessions. Underwear, muscles, abs, arms, shirtless pics. Gone. Those things just don't turn me on anymore and it feels amazing. What turns me on these days: actual humans. People. Not computer screen images.

The videos are so disturbing and hardcore to me that I never ever want to see porn again. Fuck porn and everything close to it. I never even want to orgasm again unless I'm with a regular woman that I'm actually in love with. I don't want to have casual sex no more.

Early on in nofap, met an amazing girl. Am dating her now, sex is frequent. Once or twice a day (depends on schedule) and it's different too. I used to act like porn showed me. Now it's "vanilla" and "boring" but from mine and hers perspective it's amazing, emotional, and the best sex of our lives. It made me realize how much I was missing sex as an emotional connection as well as a physical connection of two people's bodies. Rather than just the physical like you see in porn.

I don't want to have sex with a stranger, no matter how beautiful, it would be meaningless, hollow and leave me with less happiness, not more.

[quote author=GabeDeem]I had a change of heart and sex became more about love, and less about lust.[/quote]

my erection now is based mainly on physical stimulation,intimacy and love, no bizarre fetishes anymore.

To be honest, at this point, all sexual fetishes that people have just look bizarre to me and doesn't matter. It's like my brain refuses to even think about it. They don't serve any other purpose but to feed your ego. In the past I would scrutinize every bit of info about anything perverted, now I just don't care. Anything beyond genuine intimacy with someone you really like is strange to me. So, yeah, give it enough time and you'll become like me.

I lost all my fetishes, right now.. the mere sight of a woman excites me. thinking back, It aint even a lot of time, but damn those were some disgusting things I used to watch.

Now as I have learned more about myself and this process, my 'fantasies' have become focused less on these crazy scenarios, and more on intimacy on an emotional and physical level. Now I fantasize about the feel of her skin, or her warm breath, or just a passionate kiss.

I too have noticed this. And I'm much more comfortable with these fantasies. I want to say they're more "innocent", I guess. But what I've also found is I find intimacy (skin contact, kissing, just being close to her), to be much greater of a turn on than fantasizing about some crazy sex act. It's much more realistic, but this intimacy you and I have detailed, I think, is far sexier and amazing to experience.

I was talking briefly with a fellow student and noticed she had absolutely gorgeous eyes. I never noticed those things while using porn. Also, I no longer fantasize about porn scenarios "starring" potential mates or women I know. I try not to fantasize, but when one creeps in, it's now all first-person, one-on-one, and nothing kinky or odd. Refreshing.

Now, almost 8 months after quitting porn, I'm finding that the fantasies I used to have don't appeal to me anymore...at all. I actually find myself feeling repulsed by the idea of them. It turns out, I didn't need healthier fantasies, I needed to quit porn. We live in a culture that encourages us to have fantasies, share them with our SO and even act them out together. But what I found is that my wife and I both enjoy sex much much more when there is no fantasy involved; just the two of us in the moment.

The binge wasn't as enjoyable as I expected. For the first time, being in the perspective of the voyeur felt wrong and kind of sickened me. It had always just felt normal to me since I'm a longtime user. This time, masturbating without any context/connection felt strange and perverted. I now can't imagine doing that in real life, just having a woman sit there emotionless opening up her holes in front of me. During the reboot I felt more attracted to women as a whole.
Now, I can imagine myself looking into a woman's eye at orgasm rather than focusing on her stretched holes in a detached way.

I love women for who they are, and I am attracted to feminine energy not weird fetishes.

Also suffered from escalaing sexual fantasies due to years of daily porn viewing. These fetishes have totally disappeared which is amazing.

Now after just 100 days I'm clean. I love women instead of lust them.

When you see porn on NoFap you realize how fucked up it is. Wanna be less perverted, start NoFap.

I fantasize about her in a way that would've left the old me completely bored and clicking furiously for new material

before starting nofap I fapped like twice a day on porn and my taste was constantly changing over the years. I went from normal porn>> lesbian porn>> rough porn>> bigfaketitsporn>> deeptroating>> slappedandbeatedaroundporn>> pissporn>>
scatporn>> shemaleporn>>>etc.etc.etc - or a combination off all above... I really was disgusted about most of this fetishes but I needed more and more shocking and surprising stuff to keep being aroused... so I stopped porn and started nofap
Didn't watch porn since last February and I can safely say I don't crave the fetishes anymore. It took me 4-months to get rid of my 'light' fetishes and 6 months to get totally rid of every unwanted fetish I developed. What I crave now? being with the girl I like. kiss her, hug her, and make sweet love with her.

When you are not masturbating to fetishes you stop reinforcing the connections and they weaken. Regular "vanilla" sex has become so much more amazing for me, that I no longer need fetishes.

For some reason something just clicked when I started having more sex (and abstaining from PMO of course) and the old fetishes disappeared. Something about having real sex that makes the weird fantasizes straight up disgusting.

Many people think about sexual fantasies when they have sex, so they are not really in the present moment when they are intimate with a partner. You are making up all kinds of sexual fantasies that mainly revolve around you and what you want for yourself without taking into account what your partner might like. Sex experienced in the body is present moment awareness, the unification with your partner without your mind indulging in other sexual fantasies.

Anyway, two nights ago when my wife and I got frisky, I made my first, real, genuine effort to focus only on HER and not allow any other women/images to enter into my mind. I also made sure to maintain eye contact with her the entire time (previously I had always closed my eyes since - and this sounds truly twisted I know - seeing my wife was a distraction from trying to playback the porn fantasies in my mind during sex).

The result of actually looking into my wife's eyes the entire time and making a real effort to emotionally connect with her was one of the most amazing sexual experiences we've ever had!
For the first time in my LIFE I felt emotionally connected to her during sex (the first time I've felt this with ANY woman while being intimate). During those moments, it actually felt like I was looking at her the same way I did back when we first started dating - like someone beautiful and otherworldly and transcendent and out-of-my-league who was allowing me into her own private space, created just for the two of us.

And this is something, what the most guys don't know here. Its sad but true. I found out what Intimate Sex is when i was 32 Years old. During my reboot. It is very different than horny sex. It is all about INTIMACY, about letting your self connect with the other person, about being in the present and not in the head, or in the fantasy. It is very strong powerful connection, and very satisfying.

Finw? · Aug 26, 2018

More:

All my fetishes are gone, they disgust me now. I have no desire to watch porn; I'd have to force myself.

I've noticed after four weeks (my highest streak) my fetishes have gone away. I used to have very weird ones that I prefer not to say, but now they've disappeared. I can see people as normal human beings rather than objects for me to fap to. NoFap is changing my life right now.

Porn-induced fetishes (homo, bdsm, violent stuff) DID go away - and I'm happy about it. I feel like I'm getting back to my natural sexual preferences and fetishes.

I've noticed that vanilla sex is much more appealing and satisfying to me now. I wasn't into any kinky fetish stuff, but the small kinks that I had are basically gone or less appealing to me now.

So here I am now at 23 years old and I can safely say that all my porn induced fetishes are gone. I even just accidentally saw my worst, most destructive one earlier today and felt accidentally nothing before quickly closing the image (did not expect porn at all). It took 4 years, and several long as fuck streaks before I finally got to this point, and it feels good.

Being on and off NoFap for the last 2 years without going 3+ weeks my porn-induced fetishes never really changed, maybe even increased. But at my current and longest streak I finally feel some results and it feels awesome. I actually took a peek at my fetishes last night (very big mistake, I know) and lo and behold, they were gone.

Sex is about two people coming together beautifully in the most vulnerable way imaginable...not penetration and dominance. Have you ever noticed that there's no touching involved in porn? No laughter? There's no real connection between the people involved, there's just soulless sexual encouragement at angles designed for rewiring the way you view sex. It's cognitive distortion at its finest.

Forgot about this one, but it is really important: no more objectifying of women! Before NoFap I always looked at tits and asses, but now I can really enjoy thin hair and soft skin and a beautiful stylish outfit. Also strange fetishes I had because of porn disappeared.

Finw? · Aug 31, 2018

More quotes, from the rebooter LTE:

At this point, porn is about as appealing as cleaning up vomit.

This has been over 400 days of total abstinence and it's not all that difficult. You just have to be resolute and not allow yourself any fantasy regarding sex.

I was offered sex by a woman a while back but declined because there was no intimate relationship and I don't want meaningless sex.

I know that something has changed for me. Something foundational to my psyche. it's like a whole different outlook towards life. I am looking for different facets of things than I used to. I still want a woman, but the physical element has changed in importance. I want the companionship, the feminine energy of a woman companion.

Finw? · Sep 10, 2018

I?m not interested in casual sex anymore, and that I want to end this meaningless relationship. I want to wait for the right girl.

I'm surprised that a certain kink which I'd loyally consumed for 5+ years and believed was part of my identity (as opposed to porn-induced) has drastically faded and I can't remember the last time I thought about it.

I believe that masturbation plays a huge role in the high rate of divorce. We've become a society of immature men that have been taught to pleasure themselves instead of manning up and controlling our natural desires. The results are all around us. Men shrink from responsibility, fap when under stress and live as slaves to their desires, sometimes never gaining mastery. We don't have better sex lives for all of this liberation, we have worse sex lives.

So, for me, the only way to proceed is to do so in freedom. I don't want lots of partners, I don't want quick-fix relationships. I only want something of lasting value with a partner that is my soul mate. Viewed from this perspective, porn and masturbation are completely undesirable. It would make as much sense as eating junk food and candy instead of having a healthy meal that was available for the same price but would require a short wait to be prepared.

I'm shocked hearing some of porn the guys at lunch talk about since I'm not watching it anymore.

I don't feel a desire to make disgusting sexual comments around girls anymore. I feel cleaner.

Excessive porn viewing and masturbation dampened my ability to feel emotions to their fullest. I had my first good cry in several years after about ten days into one of my early streaks. Since then, I?ve cried many times ? while listening to music, reading a story, thinking about people in my life, even beautiful ideas can make me emotional. This wasn?t the case before. For as long as I can remember, I had been melancholy and generally unaffected by the world around me. Certain things were powerful enough to cut through the haze I lived in, but mostly I floated. I was uncomfortably numb. The reversal of this has been one of the more profound changes I?ve seen since quitting, and has been particularly rewarding. Emotional sensitivity has given rise to increasingly frequent bursts of creativity. Being moved by something you?ve created is truly rewarding, and incredibly reinforcing. I?ve written more music that I?m actually proud of in the last few months than I have in the previous four years.

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At the height of my porn use I was looking at other f??ed up sh-t on websites to do with fights, gore, death..basically all things f??ed up. I was watching 20 videos a day, wouldn't even flinch if I saw a video of someone breaking a leg etc. I was basically desensitized... Since I stopped porn use and these videos, I saw an image of a basketball player with a broken leg and started feeling light headed and sick. It's almost as if my brain is starting to get normal responses again. Looking back, my head must have been really f??ed up. Can anyone else relate to this in anyway?

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Yeah, I know what you mean. When I have been watching porn for a while, nothing seems too gross or too graphic for me. After a few weeks without porn, I just cannot look at [transgender] porn without having a stomachache. But after a few weeks under porn I can even eat while watching that, or other weird things that I shall not name.

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It's funny you say that. When I was an avid porn user I used to watch horror films without flinching or thinking this and that was sick. But come to think of it, now I cringe in some parts...really weird.

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Finw? · Sep 16, 2018

I felt my sexual tastes reverting from the perversions I had gotten into and return to a healthier "normal". I was happier and in better touch with my emotions, able to cry almost for the first time in 15 years.

Around week three is when I saw my tastes start reverting back to what they were in my pre-porn days, no more interest in BBWs, no desire to chat with girls about their sexual experiences with other guys.

Last weekend was the best weekend of my life: it was downright enchanting, and I never knew that such synergy and intimacy could exist between a man and a woman. Honestly, it was magical. I didn't know such a thing was even possible. And best of all, it felt clean. I felt clean and pure and wholesome, and that was exactly what I desperately panted after when I started this journey.

It's so weird. 90% of my porn usage was watching a particular fetish but now that I'm porn free, I don't even think about it. It became my "go-to" for watching porn, almost like an obsession, but without porn, it's pretty much just vanished. It's so nuts how porn can warp our sexual tastes. Without porn, I never would have got into it, and now porn is gone, it's pretty much died a death. It was a synthetic, implanted desire/fixation and not something I'd ever have got into organically. Fucking porn.

Mroctupus · Sep 16, 2018

I was watching a YouTube video and he said something that changed my view on porn not being normal. He said imagine if two people have sex in some room, would you bring a cream and tell them to ignore you and continue what they are doing, no because It?s creepy. That?s basically porn

Finw? · Sep 18, 2018

Mroctupus said:
I was watching a YouTube video and he said something that changed my view on porn not being normal. He said imagine if two people have sex in some room, would you bring a cream and tell them to ignore you and continue what they are doing, no because It?s creepy. That?s basically porn

^^I agree, porn is revolting. I hate it now. I can't understand how I ever watched it.

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More quotes from rebooters:

I have cleaned my life up and no longer watch porn. My only allowed attraction point is my wife. I can not explain how critical it is that your spouse be the only outlet for your desires. I?m not saying there will be instant changes. But from someone who was attracted to everything before to only being attracted to one thing now, this is awesome and porn was one of the biggest problems.

Porn disgusts me A LOT. I don't understand how I even was able to tolerate it in the first place. It looks so fake and ugly.

Week 8: porn DISGUSTS me!!!!!

Porn is disgusting now. I just don't get stimulated by it, I even dislike the idea of watching porn. But when I talk to a girl, hold her hand, touch their skin or even seen a girl smile makes me so happy.

It's unbelievable how I started to notice girls in an healthy way again. How cute they are. Just being around them and having a good discussion with them feels great.

Day 131...I don?t know what happened, but it became easier and PMO no longer appealed to me and the thought of watching porn disgusts me now

Finw? · Sep 19, 2018

The real magic in sex is when you have it with someone whom you really love and whom you really care for. It makes you feel great physically, but also emotionally, because you are pleasing your favourite other person as well. That combination of physical stimulation + emotional stimulation is infinitely better than any orgasm based on pure lust that you will ever get.

I never realized how fucking creepy it is to look at a woman and only be capable of thinking sexually without even being able to carry on a conversation with her, or get to know her a little better.

Since I have done nofap I have realized that I see so much more in girls now and I find a larger amount of them attractive. I also never had the urge to get an emotional connection with a girl but now I actually want to get into a relationship and am not interested in casual sex.

Sex with a partner is the one of the most beautiful acts a human being is capable of experiencing. You're not in it for yourself, instead, you are focused on making sure your partner is having a pleasurable experience. Everything you do is for your partner, every ounce of concentration is on your partner. Whatever she likes, you are going to implement more of. Whatever she doesn't like, you rarely implement (unless of course she is treating you). Your partner has the same mentality. What she does is all for you. She wants YOU to have a good time. When these forces combine and the equilibrium and perfect balance of emotional ecstasy is discovered; it becomes love making.. And there is a big difference between fucking and love making. Both you and your partner are doing everything for each other, a selfless act, a moment of selflessness shared with one another. Selfless acts are known to generate self-satisfaction and happiness.

"I can talk with girls without any ugly images popping in."

No bro in my journey of 200 days i never felt any urges for porn even 10 second.My mind really don't like porn.Why so here is reason.Those porn star disrespect every women.I don't have any respect for those porn star.So there is no chance i will feel any urges.I don't like fake porn pleasure... "

Now it's almost 200 days free of pmo and I'm in a happy relationship with a great girl. And I can tell you that only sex with someone you love can be great. The feeling when you can look at your girl, smile at her and tell I love you after sex is the best.

Zeratul · Sep 20, 2018

Awesome compilation! Thank you!

Finw? · Sep 26, 2018

I have no real desire to watch porn.

(Age 50) During intercourse last night, I felt suddenly very intimate, almost scarily intimate, deep contact I have never experienced before. It felt kind of shocking to me. It was wonderful in a way I can't describe, but I am in a kind of awe over it. It feels scary-wonderful.

In the past, sex wasn't emotional, on some level it was like there was nobody else there because you were in your own head the whole time for one reason or another...It didn't take long once I broke the pattern to change everything. I'm not in my own head while having sex, I can actually focus on my girlfriend and everything that makes her attractive.

"One of my ex fuck-buddies came over. We start having sex and I just. I just didn't want to. I don't know who I am as a person or what I want, but I'm learning what I don't want and who I am not. It's a start."

Now how I think about girls is COMPLETELY different. And since I think about girls 180 differently and in a healthy and loving way now, porn is just different now. Porn doesn't really do it for me anymore. Porn is just weird now. Because I don't think of sex in that way now. How I fantasize and think about girls now is A TON different than way back then. And I think this has dramatically helped my porn addiction. Just looking at sexuality in a very different way.

Finw? · Dec 6, 2018

Since I have done nofap I have realized that I see so much more in girls now and I find a larger amount of them attractive. I also never had the urge to get an emotional connection with a girl but now I actually want to get into a relationship and am not interested in casual sex.

I told a girl that my new year's resolution is no casual sex.. That's right... I turned down sex. And I feel good about it! I have changed!

[quote author=GabeDeem]Rough anal sex and rough oral were two things that I did not desire before I started watching porn, and now that I stopped watching porn I'm not into those things anymore.[/quote]

Casual sex is no different then MO to be honest, you are just using somebody else's body as a tool to get you off, there is no connection,
there is no love, just temporary self-satisfaction that lasts only momentarily until you finish and then.. nothing.

aquarius25 · Dec 6, 2018

This is so awesome! It really is pretty amazing how much impact porn has on a person. Thank you for sharing!

Changing view of sex/loss of fetishes after rebooting

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