hope2reboot said:
Day 7: Wow, I made it. Had my doubts at times and the temptations have been much stronger the last couple days but thankfully I didn?t succumb. Next goal is 14 days. Barely slept last night but not sure if it?s because of withdrawal symptoms or just one of those nights. Stress at work is increasing and maybe that?s what it is......the silent and invisible killer. Anyway, congratulations self for making it 7 days. Hang in there because it will get easier. Think of the joys ahead vs the self loathing and disappointment you?ll see in your fianc?s face. Think about the chance that your relationship with her may break because of not stopping. Think about the feeling of being clean vs that of being dirty. Think about the victory you feel vs the drudgery and depression of defeat. Think about the zeal for things other than PMO, real life things, good things, not shameful things, that will grow inside of you. Think about the joy of life and love that PMO robs you of. Keep going self, you can do this, you need to do this. Choose life, not shame, drudgery and depression. You can do this self, you can do this! The renewing of your mind, the building up of normal neuropaths takes time so don?t get discouraged, keep going and in time you?ll reap the benefits, the joys, the confidence and feelings of well being. Keep going self, keep going!
Congratulations, man! Today I have 2 weeks too. Remembering the misery of porn is a great tool. Think about how you feel after a relapse. Feel it. Get in that moment and see how feel after a relapse. Then get out of it and say: "I will never feel like that again!" Anytime you feel any benefits of being P free, focus on that too. "I don't want those things to go away by relapsing!"
The mindset is very important. The brain will change back to normal by being starved of anything that stimulates it. This is: Hardcore porn, softcore porn, solo scenes, social media pictures, Youtube music videos, Youtube underwear trying and shit like that, but it's also porn flashbacks and fantasies. Porn is watching but also thinking about porn. Thinking about porn, indulging in the fantasies from your mind or "watching" that porn stuff that your brain stored, is also porn. The solution is: Staying away from all this. It's like a fire that you want to let it be until it extinguish itself, but you won't let it because you keep pouring gas on it, even if it means pouring only a cup vs pouring a bucket <- This should be interpreted as: Every little thing that activates the porn addicted brain (anything that makes you feel that pleasurable arousal) is the gas that you pour in the fire. There is no such thing as: "This stuff is too light. It's just a picture. I could survive looking at it for 5 seconds then I go out." If it stimulates the addiction, it's to be completely avoided without excuses. Playing with fire leads to relapse.
Once you stay away from watching/looking at any material, you have to be careful about seeing triggers by mistake and indulging in flashbacks/fantasies. You might not completely avoid them for life but it's your choice what you do about them. Do you walk away from them or drown in them?
Also, addictions are often self-medication tools. You might end up PMO-ing to deal with stress, anxiety, depression, regret, rejections etc. You need to identify those too and never use porn for them. Humans have the ability to deal with their problems without self-medication.
Anyway, man, if I bother you with those texts, let me know and I will keep my mouth shut.