Treating This as an Addiction

I never thought I would be addicted to drugs.

I don't use anything - cocaine, lsd, heroin, meth; even shrooms or weed.  I haven't done any of it.  Tried weed once, and it just confirmed to me that I'm not interested in it.  I don't even drink, really. 

But P.M.O... yeah.  I've been doing that since I was 13.

It's a silent killer.  It sucks because it's seen as something that people end up doing, but it's seen as harmless...in the same way that coffee, or cell phone towers are seen as harmless.  Relatively. 

At first I didn't want to accept that it was like a drug addiction, but since relapsing several times, I've decided that yeah....... I've got it too.

It helps to treat it as an addiction.  It doesn't define me, it's just a bug in my system.  A bug that doesn't need to be there. 

It isn't what I need.  It's what I want.  But I'm a man now.  And as a man, I decide the course of my life.  I decide what gets to be there and what doesn't. 

As a teenager, that's what I wanted.  Because I was exploring.  But now I know what it is.  As a man, I don't want that.  I want a real relationship with a woman, with many different rewarding facets to it beyond just sex.  The personal growth.  The love.  The connection.  The support.  The family.  That's what I want now.

So in order to create that, I put porn in the same category as all of those hard drugs.  It spikes your feel good hormones, but it eliminates your energy, heightens your anxiety, creates memory loss and brain fog, depression, and overall just makes you into a really sad sack of shit. 

It does!  Don't sugarcoat it.  Something must be done.

If I choose to see it more objectively, the whole thing is... not how I want to experience sex.  Not how I want to experience women.  Not how I want to relate to women.

To be stuck in that adolescent mindset of "holy shit look at this girl wow holy fuck so freakin hot" ... is just a losing game.

THE ADOLESCENT MINDSET IN AN ADULT BODY IS A LOSING GAME. 

It's time for an adult mindset in an adult body.  This whole reboot can be seen as a coming of age, in a way.  You put down the drug when you are ready to fully admit that it is drastically fucking up your whole life.  Nothing but upside in doing this. 

For me, having an exciting goal in mind, even if it takes me years or decades to manifest, is one thing which really keeps me going. 

I don't want to go around picking up chicks.  I want to meet a great woman and start a family.  I want to be happy and balanced and prosperous.  Yes.

(now I know of course this is way easier said than done, lol.... but I'm shooting for the moon here.)

You're absolutely correct about the addiction, good sir! Props to you for not succumbing to any of life's other common addictions like soft drugs, alcohol! That is a hard thing to find in most adults these days,IMHO.

I would say that people only feel that PMO is a silent killer right now because it is such a new thing, relatively speaking. Humans have only had such insane access to supplies of porn for a few generations and like a lot of problems we've made by developing our society we pick up more things to deal with but cannot fully comprehend the damages they can bring. Intentional or not!

Its like thinking about anyone who said "I can't wait till your generation gets old" when talking about the increased tattoo culture, the texting kids, or ipad holding children. We know that there could be a problem, but we cant fully deal with the issue properly because we don't know the outcomes well enough to put a stop to it. Or we simply don't want to stop it as a majority.

Oh I think we're getting close to dealing with it pretty fast.  If no one did this anymore, if making porn was made illegal... can you imagine the state of humanity?  How much closer we would become?  How much healing would take place? 

There's a major major difference between making love with someone you love, and just beating off to strangers on the internet.  The problem is that it's fun and relatively harmless in the short term.  It's those long term effects that we want to ignore that screw us over in the end.  So yeah, as you were saying, we don't know the outcomes well enough, or simply don't want to stop it. 

I think in the end, it comes down to becoming so disgusted with it and changing your mind about it to such an extent that there is no way you'd keep it in your life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfSj4_n_C_s

BTW - Props to having Thrawn as your profile pic!  Love that villain

Thanks! Seemed fitting in more than one way.

I'd like to suggest the importance of reading and exercise. Try to meditate instead of contemplate, visualize instead of fantasize. Thank you.

Any comments on my last post?