The first step is the hardest...or atleast i hope!

Hi Guys,

Im a 25 year old male from the UK who has been masturbating to porn since the age of around 13.

I have been suffering from what i now know is PIED for the last 5 or so years, however it has been the last year that it has become significantly more frequent.

I live with my girlfriend of 2 and a half years and she is absoultley the love of my life, however the last 6-9 months our sex life has been terrible and that is down to me and my porn/masturbation addiciton.

I regularly masturbated to porn (at least twice a day, somtime way more) using what  now know is a "Death Grip".

The reason i have finally decided enough is enough is that i was super horny yesterday morning, however i was unable to sustain a mild erection to have sex with the love of my life. It was absolutley sould destroying.

The last 12-18 months or so i have been subscribed anti-depressents and have been suffering from depression and aniexty.

From reading posts on this forum and the advice/experiances on yourbrainonporn.com i have now realised what is causng 90% of my problems and i am fearful that it has affected my behaviour well beyond the realms of my sex life.

Despite living with a wonderful, sexy, kind hearted woman, ive always had the desire to have sex with as many women as possible and i feel that this is also a side affect of prolonged porn/masturbation abuse.

At the point of writing this i have not PMO'd for 36 hours (which is incredibel already for me) and i am already suffering withdrawl symptoms.

Im going to attempt to recover from this condition and i feel writing this down, and peridoically updating this journal will help myself to keep track and also provide me extra motivation to succeed. Any advice, comment or discussion is greatly encouraged and appreciated.

Wish me luck.

Quick update

I have hit my 48 hours which is probably the most time I've gone since I was 16 without P,M or O. It's been incredibly difficult and even as I sit here now I feel very tense and on edge and I still have a long long way to go.

I woke up with strong wood fro a very vivid sex dream about a girl I used to work with (a bit weird).

Just gotta keep going.

72 hours reached and I tell you, this is bloody difficult.

I awoke from se mega hot sex dreams again, and I was lightly touching myself whilst still partly in slumber. However I manged to st op before it got too serious.

Yesterday was hard, I was super on edge all morning and then it subided in the afternoon. But I'm back to feeling on edge this mormong.

I'm alone, driving all day today so I am worried as this is when the mind wonders.

Stay strong my brother and remember that using porn will never solve your problems and will only make them worse, you can do this!

I am 12 hours off my first week without PMO in about 10 years or so and I tell you what, it's been difficult but I feel my inner strength and will power is getting stronger.

How on earth do you stop sexual thoughts? I still want to fuck nearly every woman I see and still think about all the women at work etc in sexual ways? I find this then leads me to nearly relapse. I haven't thus far but it's probably what makes me want to the most.