Need Advice: Defeating Delayed Ejaculation then GOING BACK TO PORN

Hello everyone,

Some BACKGROUND about myself: 28 yo guy. Watched porn since I was ~14. Roughly 1 time / day, my tastes gradually escalated into more and more hardcore. Lost my virginity only about 2 years ago (I worked a lot as a one man army entrepreneur from 19 to 25; under 19 I didn't present interest for the women I desired). Had about 3 girfriends (no more then few months) I became intimate with. Had penetrative sex about 15 times total. Have always suffered from delayed ejaculation (2 year history; only 1 girl out of 3 managed to finish me off with a success rate of about 50%; I couldn't feel much when inside a girl / my hand + porn felt much better). My dick rarely dies or goes limp when with a girl. I have sex raw, since putting a rubber on makes my dick go limp most of the times (not to mention the sensation is almost gone).

- 16 days into rebooting. I'm planning to have sex with my girlfriend 10 days from now. Then, until I'm fine, only have sex with girlfriend, rarely masturbate (without porn), until I'm "cured" or mostly "cured".
- First day I couldn't masturbate without porn. Fast forward 3-4 days into my rebooting and my dick was getting hard again relatively regularly and I busted a nut in about 10 minutes (using imagination only). A week after busted another nut in the evening (light-ish touch, took me about 6 minutes) and next morning with the help of morning wood, busted another nut in about 2-3 minutes. It's hard not watching porn, I miss it, but based on these 16 day experience, I don't think I'll have too much trouble resisting.
- I don't think porn affected my drive in life. I always had ambition. Despite several big roadblocks, I'm a successful entrepreneur, with a few employees and my financial situation is very good.

MY MID-LONG TERM PLANS ARE:
- Rarely masturbate and do it without porn (imagination of mostly real life girls I was intimate with).
- Have sex with my girlfriend (say we'll have about 2 time / week, I'll masturbate say 1 more time per week).
- Drastically increase the exercise I get.
- With the above mentioned diet, after sex starts to feel good, then very good, then I have no issue in finishing, I'm planning on going back to porn (1-2 wanks / week).

REASONS & PLAN ON GOING BACK TO PORN: I WANT TO HAVE BOTH (SEX & PORN)
- I will have already know that I cured my Delayed Ejaculation and by not watching porn daily.
- I'll be CAREFUL when watching porn. Going from mostly 0 SEX & 7 PORN Wanks / week to 2 SEX & 1-2 PORN Wanks / week should make a difference. If I feel Delayed Ejaculation begins to be a problem again, I'll decrease the porn sessions.
- I like watching porn. Some girls there are extremely cute I want to see them again ), fresh faces too.
- I fear from impregnating a girlfriend that probably I won't merry (although I care about her). I've worked a lot for the company / financial resources I have and the last thing I would want is to end up with an unplanned kid or see half my stuff in danger. By mixing porn with sex, at least I know the porn sessions have 0 chances of pregnancy.
- Between relationships, I plan to be single longer then average. My time is very expensive. I'm very productive with my time financial wise. I don't see the need of chasing average women just to have sex. By working hard now, when I find someone worth the while, I will no problem dedicate a lot of my time to her (knowing in the past I worked extra hard).

So, what do you guys think about my strategy / plan, of mixing a little bit of porn (say ~1 time per week when in a relationship and once every 3 days when not in a relationship)?

Here's my answer: I don't know about you, I just know that I can't do what you're describing.

A couple of observations:

People who have no problem with porn don't end up on a forum for quitting porn.

In AA there's a questionnaire to see if you might have alcoholism, but the biggest sign that you might be an alcoholic is that you filled out the questionnaire, because people who don't have issues with their drinking don't need to evaluate whether they have issues with their drinking. One of the main issues with any form of addiction isn't the amount you do or the time of day or whatever, it's the obsession.

For example, someone with an obsessive relationship with alcohol might count drinks, schedule drinking, time drinking so they're sober by an exact time. These are things that a normal drinker doesn't have to think about.

Based on what you're saying, I'm seeing a lot of obsession: scheduling, being "careful...." Why not take some time away from all of that and just see how you feel, since you already know how you feel with porn in your life.

I can't diagnose you as an addict. I can't tell you your story. But I can tell you that in my experience, I wasted a lot of time trying to convince myself there was some way I could use porn without it affecting my life, but nothing I tried ever worked.

My suggestion to you would be to focus on the present. How do you want today to look? Who do you want to be today?

I did what I needed to do today to live without porn for 24 hours. I don't know about  tomorrow, I guess I'll find out!

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope my input helps.

MindOverModem said:

Here's my answer: I don't know about you, I just know that I can't do what you're describing.

A couple of observations:

People who have no problem with porn don't end up on a forum for quitting porn.

In AA there's a questionnaire to see if you might have alcoholism, but the biggest sign that you might be an alcoholic is that you filled out the questionnaire, because people who don't have issues with their drinking don't need to evaluate whether they have issues with their drinking. One of the main issues with any form of addiction isn't the amount you do or the time of day or whatever, it's the obsession.

For example, someone with an obsessive relationship with alcohol might count drinks, schedule drinking, time drinking so they're sober by an exact time. These are things that a normal drinker doesn't have to think about.

Based on what you're saying, I'm seeing a lot of obsession: scheduling, being "careful...." Why not take some time away from all of that and just see how you feel, since you already know how you feel with porn in your life.

I can't diagnose you as an addict. I can't tell you your story. But I can tell you that in my experience, I wasted a lot of time trying to convince myself there was some way I could use porn without it affecting my life, but nothing I tried ever worked.

My suggestion to you would be to focus on the present. How do you want today to look? Who do you want to be today?

I did what I needed to do today to live without porn for 24 hours. I don't know about  tomorrow, I guess I'll find out!

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope my input helps.

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God damn, you spoke like a doctor!  ;D I fucking agree with this and I like the idea "what I need to do today to live without porn for 24 hours". This is what I call "one day at a time". I don't want to relapse today, not for a year or whatever. Today first and tomorrow I tell myself the same thing.

Thank you for the answer guys. Anyone else willing to add something, highly welcomed