robust
Active Member
Hey Guys,
we don?t know each other but we all have something in common: a problem with pornography. Since I don?t have anyone to talk about this issue in real life, I decided to join this new forum - literally seen as a new chance. I want to share my journey with all of you. I want to go through all ups and downs with all of you. But most importantly, I would like to encourage anyone here to fulfill his or her own goals and dreams, whether with regards to overcoming PIED or anything else in life. All of you.
First of all (you might have noticed it already), I want to mention that my first language is not english. I know that I should not explain myself all the time, but I want to show you some respect and let you know about that.
Some information about me
I am 22 years old, student. I am on a healthy diet, going to the gym five times a week for lifting heavy weights (competitive powerlifter), running three times a week and have two optional workouts a week (like swimming or bouldering). My body fat is a little bit too high at the moment, but I am losing weight right now (could already lose 10 pounds, which is much for a powerlifter). My social life could be better, but there are people around me, so nothing to worry about. No girlfriend, although I have a crush on a girl right now (and I feel that she?s got a crush on me as well!). I am not depressed, actually pretty handsome (a normal dude, but I think I look and dress good, since I like classical men?s fashion and have a nice viking-beard 8)), got an own flat (which is always tidy), excellent organization-skills (that?s the reason why I have fix daily routines like taking cold showers and meditation with enough flexibility during the day), a good financial situation for a student, a bright future with regards to my career and a loving family. I am a warrior. I am determined. I am focused. And I am not doing any compromises with regards to my own happiness. Everything is fine. Well, everything? Not really.
I know about my issue for almost a year know. When I discovered yourbrainonporn.com by chance, I got my eyes opened. Nevertheless, I never solved the problem. I am watching porn on the internet since I am fourteen years old. In the beginning, it wasn?t a high consumption, but it peaked at the age of 21, which was a pretty tough time in general. Just like Gabe however (much respect for you, man. Going public on youtube with your past is a pretty brave thing. I wish you all the best in life!), I discovered pornographic material earlier than this. Television and magazines have always been available for me. I never watched ?weird? things, threesomes and sometimes group-sex were the absolute maximum. The bad thing: I often clicked through different videos for an hour or so. Dopamin. I had no clue that things could get so bad. I could slap myself. In the face. With a chair.
So, what?s my status quo?
I can get like 70-80% erections without watching porn. I also can get slightly aroused by looking at a woman I like. Spontaneous erection are rare, morning woods as well (but (!) I still have them). My libido is pretty low. Masturbating to fantasies without watching porn is also possible. All I want is a healthy sexuality. Important to know: I never had a girlfriend before. I am not a virgin, but I never met a woman I can fully trust. A soulmate, so to speak. I am losing interest in a woman very quickly, most of them are not attractive in a personal way. I don?t have cravings to watch porn. I actually don?t even think about it at the moment. I also don?t have any flashbacks or picture or fantasies in my head. Not watching porn won?t be the main problem for me the next time. But not masturbating will be indeed. I didn?t watch porn for a couple of weeks know (didn?t count, sorry) and haven?t been masturbating since 8 days. I don?t feel like I have to (flatline, I guess). My penis and testicles seem smaller.
What do I want to do in this forum? Why am I here?
Well, I just want to get rid of my ED. I know that it isn?t going to be easy - but that?s why I want to share my journey right here. My goal is to 1) solve my problems and 2) inspire other guys (and get inspired myself). Call me a philantrophic egoist or something. I think that the ED is one of my last hurdles to a truly happy life. As I said before, everything else is pretty good at the moment (of course there is always someting to be improved) and I am grateful to be blessed with talents and skills. The first goal is not to masturbate for 90 days. No compromises. No bullshit.
Here are some other personal goals I will mention in the journal:
- make the girl I have a crush on my girlfried (chances are good!)
- lose 23 pounds bodyweight (10 kilos)
- a good start for my master-program at university (I know that?s not a ?smart? goal, but it?s important for me)
And: CONQUER.
If you have any questions, please let me know. If there are sentences or words you cannot understand due to my language, feel free to ask. I want to encourage you to actively participate in my journal. I will to so in yours too whenever I have the time.
I?m done.
we don?t know each other but we all have something in common: a problem with pornography. Since I don?t have anyone to talk about this issue in real life, I decided to join this new forum - literally seen as a new chance. I want to share my journey with all of you. I want to go through all ups and downs with all of you. But most importantly, I would like to encourage anyone here to fulfill his or her own goals and dreams, whether with regards to overcoming PIED or anything else in life. All of you.
First of all (you might have noticed it already), I want to mention that my first language is not english. I know that I should not explain myself all the time, but I want to show you some respect and let you know about that.
Some information about me
I am 22 years old, student. I am on a healthy diet, going to the gym five times a week for lifting heavy weights (competitive powerlifter), running three times a week and have two optional workouts a week (like swimming or bouldering). My body fat is a little bit too high at the moment, but I am losing weight right now (could already lose 10 pounds, which is much for a powerlifter). My social life could be better, but there are people around me, so nothing to worry about. No girlfriend, although I have a crush on a girl right now (and I feel that she?s got a crush on me as well!). I am not depressed, actually pretty handsome (a normal dude, but I think I look and dress good, since I like classical men?s fashion and have a nice viking-beard 8)), got an own flat (which is always tidy), excellent organization-skills (that?s the reason why I have fix daily routines like taking cold showers and meditation with enough flexibility during the day), a good financial situation for a student, a bright future with regards to my career and a loving family. I am a warrior. I am determined. I am focused. And I am not doing any compromises with regards to my own happiness. Everything is fine. Well, everything? Not really.
I know about my issue for almost a year know. When I discovered yourbrainonporn.com by chance, I got my eyes opened. Nevertheless, I never solved the problem. I am watching porn on the internet since I am fourteen years old. In the beginning, it wasn?t a high consumption, but it peaked at the age of 21, which was a pretty tough time in general. Just like Gabe however (much respect for you, man. Going public on youtube with your past is a pretty brave thing. I wish you all the best in life!), I discovered pornographic material earlier than this. Television and magazines have always been available for me. I never watched ?weird? things, threesomes and sometimes group-sex were the absolute maximum. The bad thing: I often clicked through different videos for an hour or so. Dopamin. I had no clue that things could get so bad. I could slap myself. In the face. With a chair.
So, what?s my status quo?
I can get like 70-80% erections without watching porn. I also can get slightly aroused by looking at a woman I like. Spontaneous erection are rare, morning woods as well (but (!) I still have them). My libido is pretty low. Masturbating to fantasies without watching porn is also possible. All I want is a healthy sexuality. Important to know: I never had a girlfriend before. I am not a virgin, but I never met a woman I can fully trust. A soulmate, so to speak. I am losing interest in a woman very quickly, most of them are not attractive in a personal way. I don?t have cravings to watch porn. I actually don?t even think about it at the moment. I also don?t have any flashbacks or picture or fantasies in my head. Not watching porn won?t be the main problem for me the next time. But not masturbating will be indeed. I didn?t watch porn for a couple of weeks know (didn?t count, sorry) and haven?t been masturbating since 8 days. I don?t feel like I have to (flatline, I guess). My penis and testicles seem smaller.
What do I want to do in this forum? Why am I here?
Well, I just want to get rid of my ED. I know that it isn?t going to be easy - but that?s why I want to share my journey right here. My goal is to 1) solve my problems and 2) inspire other guys (and get inspired myself). Call me a philantrophic egoist or something. I think that the ED is one of my last hurdles to a truly happy life. As I said before, everything else is pretty good at the moment (of course there is always someting to be improved) and I am grateful to be blessed with talents and skills. The first goal is not to masturbate for 90 days. No compromises. No bullshit.
Here are some other personal goals I will mention in the journal:
- make the girl I have a crush on my girlfried (chances are good!)
- lose 23 pounds bodyweight (10 kilos)
- a good start for my master-program at university (I know that?s not a ?smart? goal, but it?s important for me)
And: CONQUER.
If you have any questions, please let me know. If there are sentences or words you cannot understand due to my language, feel free to ask. I want to encourage you to actively participate in my journal. I will to so in yours too whenever I have the time.
I?m done.