Rebooter99
Member
Hey Everyone,
So it's been 40 days without pornography. I haven't gone this many days without it in a long while and am glad & encouraged. However, there were some reversals as I fapped on a few occasions. I wasn't triggered by anything in particular, but just found myself alone, with nothing to do, or just waking up or going to bed.
I have to admit, my libido has gone down. This may be evidence of an onset flatline or one coming up. But I must say, after a week or two of no-fap, I develop testicular pain or just restlessness/anxiety and feel like I have to release.
This may sound natural, but I know it's harming the reboot. Even if I'm not looking at porn or trying not to think about it, thoughts creep in when you fap or fantisize, even if you're thinking about real women or experiences. This is reinforcing old pathways and may lead to a relapse of watching porn.
Therefore, going forward in the interest of sobriety, I've restarted the counter for the Hard Reboot. This means no porn, no masturbation and no orgasm. I will do the Hard Reboot for the recommended 90 days and try to go 100 and beyond.
I want porn thoughts and related behavioral/mental patterns completely gone, forever!
I only want to have intimacy exclusively with a loving partner in a committed, loving relationship, period!
I want to leave my former problems and life behind for good!
That's why I'm doing this. I've had some real issues with depression over the last few months. I've also been dealing with some unresolved issues recently that I thought I had reconciled, feelings and thoughts that threatened to push me right back into p.m.o.
But I didn't give in! Prayer, occasional Fasting and being active & productive have really helped. And, of course, knowing that this ugly addiction and other bad life choices have led me to this point today has also helped deter me from relapse.
I wish I had this mindset many years ago. But I thank God that I have it now.
So, don't give up everybody. Stay strong and persevere, even if you hit a roadblock or two. As Gabe would say, just keep pushing forward!
I'll check back in sometime soon.
Peace,
Rebooter99
So it's been 40 days without pornography. I haven't gone this many days without it in a long while and am glad & encouraged. However, there were some reversals as I fapped on a few occasions. I wasn't triggered by anything in particular, but just found myself alone, with nothing to do, or just waking up or going to bed.
I have to admit, my libido has gone down. This may be evidence of an onset flatline or one coming up. But I must say, after a week or two of no-fap, I develop testicular pain or just restlessness/anxiety and feel like I have to release.
This may sound natural, but I know it's harming the reboot. Even if I'm not looking at porn or trying not to think about it, thoughts creep in when you fap or fantisize, even if you're thinking about real women or experiences. This is reinforcing old pathways and may lead to a relapse of watching porn.
Therefore, going forward in the interest of sobriety, I've restarted the counter for the Hard Reboot. This means no porn, no masturbation and no orgasm. I will do the Hard Reboot for the recommended 90 days and try to go 100 and beyond.
I want porn thoughts and related behavioral/mental patterns completely gone, forever!
I only want to have intimacy exclusively with a loving partner in a committed, loving relationship, period!
I want to leave my former problems and life behind for good!
That's why I'm doing this. I've had some real issues with depression over the last few months. I've also been dealing with some unresolved issues recently that I thought I had reconciled, feelings and thoughts that threatened to push me right back into p.m.o.
But I didn't give in! Prayer, occasional Fasting and being active & productive have really helped. And, of course, knowing that this ugly addiction and other bad life choices have led me to this point today has also helped deter me from relapse.
I wish I had this mindset many years ago. But I thank God that I have it now.
So, don't give up everybody. Stay strong and persevere, even if you hit a roadblock or two. As Gabe would say, just keep pushing forward!
I'll check back in sometime soon.
Peace,
Rebooter99