With Something To Prove

Hi guys. If you do open this up, I want to thank you for it. I appreciate it a lot and really admire the commitment you have made to stop this habit.

I started watching porn when I was 12, when my cousin's friend told me about Playboy. Later on that week, I was trying to get onto a non-related porn website but did not succeed. Frustrated, I just typed in Playboy's website and there it was: I was hooked.I was quiet, looked at it and was never the same again.

I've been watching porn since; masturbating as many as 12 times a week. I'm now 22, but no less feel any much better than I did that day when I first looked at that website. I have tried many times getting rid of the habit privately, but to no avail. I have felt that my personal development has been hindered by this overwhelming habit that many of us have.

But it is in no way unbeatable. I am determined to get this crap out of the way once and for all. Reading your journals prior to this really inspired me to act and become the person that I know I can be. And I know that you can do it to.

I will update this when I can. I would love and appreciate to receive the support that this community has.

Thank you for your time and may God Bless.

I hope we all tackle the problem. I will support you. You and me will reverse the situation in our life.

Thanks man.. it means a lot. Lets do this!

Its only been 4 days, and I am starting to see how hard to stop watching porn can be.

There were many times that I tell myself to just do it. To have that one jerk off. But knowing the implications of doing that, how the body can lie to the mind, how doing it means starting from all over again; it pulled me back from crossing that line.

If I cant prove to myself that I can go without jerking off for 30 days straight at least, then I can say that Im not that bad. But if Im already struggling now, that means there is a problem there in the first place.

It can be hard. I just broke up with my girlfriend. Also, there's this girl who seemed super keen on me, only to stop replying my messages. Its even more awkward that we live in the same college dorm. With her acting likes nothing. For some reason, I feel really disappointed. I thought we had potential. But I guess it was just me. I feel tailed along, played in fact. For someone who just broke up, even when I was the one who initiated the breakup in the first place, it feels rough.

I hope this can give a perspective on continuing to stop this habit even when you got other stuff to deal with in your life. Its not an excuse. Your mind is either your greatest enemy, or your greatest ally. If you say you will, then you will.

Peace out guys. Keep going strong.

D.