Hello again everybody. So yesterday we talked more about the issue. I want someone who's been through this to help me with my understanding. I spoke to my boyfriend about traumatic experiences as a child that I had related to porn/sexuality. I asked him questions about him and his sexuality. He said he has slipped up 3 times with porn and he's sorry he lied that he's trying to fight urges he has. At first when I spoke to him he felt uncomfortable. I said "It's not like when you watch porn you're imagining sleeping with different women," and he got uncomfortable and said "It's not like how you're imagining it, but no I'm not." The next day when we both felt better we continued to discuss it. From what I understood it's hard for him to get urges out of his head and he can't just imagine things without looking, and that he doesn't think about being with other people.
But it's weird cuz he said that porn/masturbating feel good sometimes, but he swore up and down he doesn't masturbate to porn, and promised that. So I asked him and he got uncomfortable again but said he doesn't like masturbating and just meant that he was comparing porn and masturbating in that both are habits that can be hard to break. But as far as I know he doesn't masturbate, he has always admitted to porn but not masturbating. He said he saves himself for me and that as a Christian he tries to combat things.
Some solutions we're trying are that we're going to take more pictures of me and videos of us, and he said that should help a lot. This time he swears he won't. I'm just concerned cuz he promised that before and slipped up three times. He said within one year three times isn't too bad and that he's trying. He's also going to try to find other activities when he's bored like the gym or playing a game. He's also insistent that if he slips up or is bored he will tell me. I'm trying to trust him and didn't lie to him, it's hard. When I make mistakes I automatically tell him, so it's going to be a long road but I want to give him one more chance.
But it's weird cuz he said that porn/masturbating feel good sometimes, but he swore up and down he doesn't masturbate to porn, and promised that. So I asked him and he got uncomfortable again but said he doesn't like masturbating and just meant that he was comparing porn and masturbating in that both are habits that can be hard to break. But as far as I know he doesn't masturbate, he has always admitted to porn but not masturbating. He said he saves himself for me and that as a Christian he tries to combat things.
Some solutions we're trying are that we're going to take more pictures of me and videos of us, and he said that should help a lot. This time he swears he won't. I'm just concerned cuz he promised that before and slipped up three times. He said within one year three times isn't too bad and that he's trying. He's also going to try to find other activities when he's bored like the gym or playing a game. He's also insistent that if he slips up or is bored he will tell me. I'm trying to trust him and didn't lie to him, it's hard. When I make mistakes I automatically tell him, so it's going to be a long road but I want to give him one more chance.